Open The Club Bay Doors, HAL(figer) - 
by
Uptown at the Cotton Club, HALfiger arrived and was immediately impressed with the decor. It was pretty nice, actually, and all the actors were playing their roles very well. A jazz band rocked the house as - what's this?! People were smoking in the club?! In New York City?! Oh my... If anyone actually watched this show, I'd expect outcry. As it is, the Studio 54 team could have shown the disco divas snorting lines of blow off of each other's asses and we'd never hear a peep about it. Even more shocking than the cigarettes was that Cotton team member Rob spoke. 46 minutes into the show he said his first line, ending his record run as the reality contestant who went the longest without speaking on camera. Guinness is still trying to determine if the mime from Big Brother 4 qualifies.
Finally, it was time for Style Forum and someone's elimination. The laborious trudge into the Forum is so overwrought; it's a parody of reality eliminations. The Forum itself is a cross between a Greek amphitheater, Grand Central Station, and Superman’s Fortress of Solitude. The "pit" that those on the chopping block must step into is a 2 inch step down. Just like last week, it was obvious that either Jeff or Princess would be sent packing and just like last week that didn't happen. That's because Team Cotton won and they were both Team Cotton members even though they had nothing to do with Team Cotton's success. They both failed miserably at the party in the Hamptons, but...oh, never mind. I can't hope to make sense of this show.
HALfiger chose Christopher and Julie as the two biggest failures. He made them defend themselves and instead of delicately sidestepping her homophobia (more like Tommyphobia, to be fair), she seemed to revel in her ignorance for some reason. Christopher simply defended his vision. So HALfiger decided that Christopher was the lesser of the two and sent him home. Sigh, HALfiger-9000, I'll figer you out yet!
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Comments
Nice Recap. Julie and Tommy were both jerks. Julie couldn't even control herself in the cab back from the clothing store with Tommy or even in front of Halfiger. Homophobic!
LOL at the comparison of Jeff and Homer Simpson
Posted by: tv freak | June 26, 2005 6:39 PM(#1 of 15)
I was explaining this show to another designer friend over watermelon margaritas the other night and I guess somehow I made a great pitch for it because he got all excited and goes, "oh cool, i have to start watching that." Next week, I think I will bring a date to this place, order up some margaritas, and tell him that I am an insanely gorgeous supermodel with loads of money and big tits. If anyone in NYC wants to know where I found these miracle water(melon) margaritas, just let me know.
Posted by: jayneatomic | June 26, 2005 8:49 PM(#2 of 15)
"the great space coaster"? LOVED that show but could never remember the name of it after i reached legal drinking age. (damned dead brain cells.) it sounded so familiar when i read it, i googled and spent 5 minutes reveling in the stupidity of childhood. thanks sg-dub!
oh, and this episode of apprenticut was riddled with jaw-droppingly idiotic behavior. i can't wait for next week's.
Posted by: hoark | June 27, 2005 3:57 AM(#3 of 15)
Watermelon Margaritas. Thats good stuff.
Posted by: Eddiebosox | June 27, 2005 6:14 AM(#4 of 15)
great space coaster with Gary Gnu!!!! loved it.. the homophobe should have been cut.. and Princess.. wow.. my jaw was literally on the floor... that was the most excruciating moment in tv history. ever.
Posted by: mariana | June 27, 2005 9:07 AM(#5 of 15)
I'm done with show, I just can't take anymore.
Posted by: GNARKILL | June 27, 2005 11:08 AM(#6 of 15)
"this is gary g-nu, with the g-news" lol...loved that. thx!
PS. apprenticut blows....
Posted by: shelley | June 27, 2005 11:43 AM(#7 of 15)
A friend asked me who was cut this week, and I was like, "Some guy with hair. One of the ones who looks like everyone else." Seriously, he was unremarkable. That little pretty boy is the other one who could be cut and I'd have to say "Another guy with hair was cut." I loved how Liz tried to take tons of credit AGAIN and her team bitchslapped her. She's a mess.
Posted by: Jess | June 27, 2005 11:55 AM(#8 of 15)
Did anyone else notice when Tommy H was talking with someone at 54, right behind tem was some fat chick dancing in a big pink dress? I couldnt stop laughing. Yeah, im sure thats what Studio 54 was all about.
they shouldve given Tommy some great coke and had Mick Jagger suck his dick. It wouldve been just like studio 54!
And we all know No gnus is good gnus, with Garry Gnu.
Posted by: Eddiebosox | June 27, 2005 12:27 PM(#9 of 15)
I agree with everything you just posted mariana.
Wouldn't it be funny if they got Hillfiger drunk? Then, at the style forum, he would just remember having a good time. That team would then win.
Posted by: tv freak | June 27, 2005 12:52 PM(#10 of 15)
I think Tommy Hilfiger looks really scary, like an evil insect. The homo-Tommy is totally annoying and has no real value. Homer look a like Jeff is an complete tragedy and he has crazy serial killer eyes. Princess is a disgrace. I can't wait for her to start yammering on about 'respect'...its coming...be sure of it...
Posted by: KatiesHole | June 27, 2005 4:06 PM(#11 of 15)
princess is a variation on antm's yaya. an ass who thinks she's above it all. she says she's "street" and "real". but she's just ass, all the more delusional for thinking she's whatever "street" means.
can't wait to see her go down in flames. and you know there will be flames. c'mon. princess? much flamage.
Posted by: hoark | June 27, 2005 4:35 PM(#12 of 15)
This show is such a trainwreck!
Posted by: Eddiebosox | June 28, 2005 6:53 AM(#13 of 15)
No more Hilfiger! Give us back Rich Girls! I loved that show!
Posted by: ali | June 29, 2005 9:41 AM(#14 of 15)
It makes me happy that so many others remember the Great Space Coaster with Gary Gnu.
That was my life.
Posted by: Genevieve | June 29, 2005 10:28 AM(#15 of 15)