Turns out Blaine was another Teen Vogue person, and he was calling to give LC "feedback" on her interview with Lisa Love. "There are not a lot of interns that we find that are ready at the age of nineteen," he said, adding, "But you have a TV show and will give us tons of free publicity; so, you're hired!" Okay, he didn't say that. However, he did babble on about how their interns had to be great writers and have lots of experience, and while LC probably didn't fit the bill at all, Lisa saw lots of potential (cough, publicity, cough) and you're hired. "We think it might be a good match," Blaine said, a look of disgust on his face. You could just tell he was thinking, "I worked my way up for ten years and this damn girls just waltzes in..."

Well, LC accepted the job right there on the spot, and no one was happier than Heidi. This raised her sidekick prominence to a whole new level! We then followed LC to the Teen Vogue offices where we met another intern, the aforementioned Whitney. Might she be a rival for LC? Or perhaps a competing sidekick for Heidi? Either way, the two girls took seats in their cramped, cluttered office (which may or may not have been located in Anna Wintour's walk-in closet). Whitney began yammering away right off the bat, and LC did her patented Distant Smile of Complexity. Disaster soon struck, however, when one of LC's errant fingers pressed the on-button of a nearby Mac, causing the machine to chime to life. OH NO! The girls panicked for about two seconds, but soon they had bigger fish to fry: namely, an androgynous woman named Olivia, who was apparently the magazine's resident stylist. Within seconds, Olivia was assessing the girls' fashion, making adjustments and saying dumb things like "I feel like it's a bit too matchy-matchy."

Perky!

Once the girls were deemed Vogue-ready, they were then brought into Lisa Love's office where they learned all the ground rules. Basically, they were to act professionally no matter where they were -- in or out of the office. They represented the company, and if they were to get into any trouble, their ass would be grass. Well, not LC. She had a camera crew. But Whitney. You watch your back!

Later, the girls were given their first big job: send out 500 invitations for a party. Gosh, haven't the people at Vogue heard of Evite? Nevertheless, the girls began the arduous process of assembling these invites, pausing to occasionally gawk at the celebrities on the list. Josh Duhamel! Gavin DeGraw! I'm sure LC will be thrilled when she sees Stephen Colletti and Kristin Cavallari on the list too. "Hey, wait a second. I went to high school with those guys..."

The next day, we found Heidi and LC lounging by the pool again, and here's a shocker: Heidi wanted LC to get her into that Teen Vogue party. The same one that Josh Duhamel and Gavin DeGraw would be at. Not so fast, Heidster. In case you weren't paying attention, this was your friend's first week at the job. "I'm not going to like mess up my internship and do something shady just like to go to a party," LC told her.

"Yeah..." Heidi replied, all broken-hearted. Ah, nothing as sad as a sidekick's dreams of grandeur going up in smoke.

Back at the office later, we found LC and Whitney giggling about something until suddenly, there were a series of "SHHHHH!" noises. Yes, LISA LOVE HAD ENTERED THE ROOM. I love how intimidating she's supposed to be. I really can't take her seriously though with that name. I mean, "Lisa Love"? Doesn't she know that any fashion editor can't have alliteration in her name? She needs to change it to something French-sounding. Whatever she chooses, she has to make sure she no longer sounds like a) a country star; b) a porn star; or c) Lisa Loeb. I throw it out to the readers to suggest their favorite alternate last names for Lisa Love. I'll get the ball rolling with "Bontemps."

Anyway, Lisa alerted LC and wh-wh-wh-Whitney that they would be working the party tonight (like OMG!) BUT this was not a time to have fun and hang out. They'd be doing their jobs, and if any of them even THOUGHT about sitting down, they'd be outta there. That's right. NO SITTING. Sounds simple enough...

Cut to the party at the Roosevelt Hotel, and all the glitteratti were there! Nicole Ritchie! Some guy! Paris Hilton! Wow! How exciting! Turns out that Whitney would be working the door/red carpet while LC would be guarding the VIP area. "No one can sit here," Blaine told LC, pointing at a nearby seating area. That's right, GUARD THESE OTTOMANS WITH YOUR LIFE!!

Almost on cue, rebellious sidekick Heidi suddenly called up, and hey, by the way, she was downstairs! "What are you doing here, Heidi?" LC asked. DUH! She was there to potentially jeopardize your high profile job so that she could partaaay!!!

"Just sneak us in," Heidi insisted. How about you just get shot in the head? Go away, shrew!

I was really hoping that LC would be firm with her friend and tell her to head elsewhere, but alas, LC finally told her sidekick to speak to Whitney at the front door. A few phone calls later, and Whitney surreptitiously let Heidi and her gaggle of friends (including Audrina) into the party. You can't tell me that the Vogue execs didn't expect this.

Posted by B-side on May 31, 2006 7:45 PM