Back at the Teen Vogue offices, Lauren hopped into a limo -- as all interns frequently do -- and rode over to the Beverly Regent Hotel where Lisa was yakking it up in the lobby with none other than the reigning diva herself, Ms. Amy Astley, who came replete with a Devil Wears Prada coif. Seriously, if Meryl Streep's hairstyle and Nora Dunn had a love child, it would be Amy Astley. Nevertheless, Lisa Love introduced Lauren to the bigwig, and our plucky intern greeted her with a big smile and not much else. Apparently, shaking hands is a major taboo down in Laguna. Well, with all pleasantries concluded, Lisa then laid out Lauren's big task of the evening: get two more tickets for the Jennifer Nicholson show. Shouldn't be hard, right? It's not like Vogue is some obscure 'zine in the fashion world.

"If Nora Dunn is unavailable, I'd prefer Chyna Phillips to play me in my biopic."

Well, Lauren zoomed off to Smashbox Studios, and en route, she called up her reliable wannabe sidekick Whitney, who was busy picking up boxes and placing them in larger boxes -- a task that surely usurped all her brainpower. Anyway, LC complained that she needed two more tickets to this fashion show, but it was totally sold out! Like OMG! If only she had some massive name to drop -- you know, something like "Hi, this is for the editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue." Damn...

Unfortunately, Whitney had no good ideas for LC. "That's kind of like a really big request!" she said. You know what else is a big request? Getting the editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue to profile your fashion line. Let's not be ridiculous here. Of course, at this point, I was marveling at the convenience that Heidi just so happened to be going to this very same show. Maybe LC would have to use Heidi's Bolthouse connections. And then they could arrange to get the tickets at Quixote Studios! Pure Hills synergy!

Nevertheless, LC arrived at the fashion show and spoke to a publicist named Kelly Cutrone who was happily in the middle of the kind of power trip publicists absolutely love. "I mean, I love Lisa, and she's great, but this is literally the eleventh hour," Kelly said, as if procuring two more folding chairs might just be the most difficult task OF ALL TIME. Lesson learned: never trust a publicist whose name sounds like Cuthroat.

Anyway, Kelly said she knew all the editors (because she's THAT good), and unless LC could come up with some names, it was a no-go. What to do? Luckily, Lauren turned around and saw her buddies, Heidi and Audrina, sauntering around the premises. That's right. These two mothballs could gain access, but the editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue couldn't even get two extra spots. Way to coordinate, Cutrone. (Then again, according to this interview, Kelly Cutrone has not been above removing Jack Nicholson from his daughter's own fashion show).

Nevertheless, LC was totally freaking out over this ticket situation, and her gal-pals insisted that they'd help her out. Well, at least Heidi was gonna help. Chances were that Audrina would just walk around with a glazed, catatonic expression on her face -- kind of like an automated mannequin. Well, after some time had passed, LC finally got in touch with Lisa Love and learned the names of the editors. Instead of writing them down, Lauren instead opted to commit these names to memory, but unfortunately, her love for J-Wahl was clearly taking up too much neurological space because as soon as Lauren reported back to Kelly, she couldn't remember a single thing. Understandably, Kelly was pissed, especially when Lauren muttered, "Ha...Hammmmish Bowles and... there was one other." I would have died if she then said, "Ann... Anna Winter? Wantor?"

Exasperated, Kelly replied, "Hamish Bowles is oneo person... You need to hurry up though sweety." This was like the fashion version of Password. I kind of loved it (Kelly, however, did not. She happily voiced her frustration to Fashion Weekly Daily. Only a fashion magazine would call itself "Weekly Daily." And why I'm suddenly so obsessed with Kelly Cutrone links is beyond me).

Finally, Lauren remembered the second name, causing Kelly to snap, "You're going to have to work faster than this if you want to work in the fashion business." You want to talk about speed? How about you hand over tickets when the editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue sends an intern for them. Nevertheless, Lisa Love soon arrived with Amy Astley and their two guests, Hamish Bowles (European Editor at Large of Vogue -- and looking every inch of it. Kind of like Liam Neeson meets Carson Kressley) and Lawren Howell (yes, Lawren -- a severe-looking woman who was the West Coast Fashion Editor of Vogue). That's right, we were to believe that these two heavy hitters in the fashion industry might not be allowed into this show. That would be like not letting Spielberg into a student film festival.

"I'm half Amish. Hence my name, Hamish."

"I've already booked Wendy Mallick for my biopic."

Anyway, the show went off without a hitch, and at one point, Lisa turned to LC and said, "Um, thank you." Wow! That was a first! To be fair, she then said, "You know, I left my sunglass case in Manhattan. Would you be a lamb and fetch those for me for tomorrow morning? Thanks."

The next day, the interns reconvened at the office where Whitney remarked, "That was a crazy night!" Well, we'll assume your night was crazy, Whit, because we didn't actually see any of your lame ass party. Anyway, Whitney further mused, "We're usually not separated like that, you know?" Awww. Sidekick was feeling some anxiety. Separated from her master. It's always tough the first time.

Posted by B-side on August 3, 2006 7:24 PM