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Summer: Obvious Cutie Crushin' on a Cohen

She's the Jen Aniston of the OC , so cute , so perky, a little ditzy at times but its endearing so we let it slide. She is always donning those cute preppy fashions straight outta Abercrombie and American Eagle, much as 90 percent of the girls in highschool did, only she's a lot more adorable in them so we also love her for that. Her Seder learning Shiksappeal won the heart of the love tangled Seth Cohen and she looked pretty good in that Wonder Woman costume, I can't say I could really rock that but I have considered it since her debut. Her fame was best established by actions of words in the mere fact that Cohen himself named his flipping boat after her. I just hope this ship doesn't sink.

Julie: Outlandishly Carnal and Covetous

What kind of role model are you woman. My god...no wonder your daughter is such a mess. For starters you are a pedophile and a hoalicious one at that. Sleeping with and then ditching your daughter's ex....there is just nothing to say for that. And then to top it off...freshly post coital you are marrying someone who could be your father because you are a gold digging power hungry wannabe princess. Newsflash for ya momma Cooper, we hate you and we love love love to hate you. Mothers's and Grandmother's of the OC keep your sons and husbands under tight reigns or this money loving menopausal nymph might snatch them up before you can say CALIFORNIIIIAAAAA.

Jimmy: Overcoming Calamity

So he's an ex-con with a dysfunctional family life, in love with his best friend's wife but dating her sister. HMMMMMMMM....yep. One part Jimmy and one part Cooper just about equals a perfect recipe for disaster if I do say so myself. ehy, I wonder if that was going to be an entree at the restaurant he was planning to open?

Marissa: Out of Date Couture

Hey! (this was the disappointed and pouty one) So she may be best friend to Summer but will never ever be on a level playing field in any way shape or form. The number one reason and atrocious act of Marissa...her disgusting fashion choices. Tacky metallics, flourscents, ballet slippers, gaudy chanel, tight 80s jeans, pouffy dresses and for good sake the bangs. She should be plastered all over the Glamour don't pages if you ask me. As she stood at he edge of her driveway with all that luggage I couldn't help but beg for someone to set fire to all the supposedly fashionistaish garb that was packed inside. Let's hope that over the summer while hopefully nestled cozily at Betty Ford she is reading a little In Style so she isn't so ridiculously outta style next season.

Theresa: Obstetric Chaquita

She got knocked up. The classic highschool drama that we had all been waiting to encounter and it happens with this 16 going on 30 year-old Chino chic. I was a bit frustrated with this, thought it was overdone and cliche but to be honest i never really liked her. She was needy and a bit annoying, never one of the gang that i considered part of the OC really. However, she was a key player in the eviction of Ryan the rodent so for that I owe her my life. Here's to a happy, healthy pregnancy!

Kaleb: Ominous Old timer whose Corrupt and Crooked

On one hand he's associated to the Cohen's so you kinda hafta like him, on the other hand he is uniting the two families and merging an incestous little melting pot that could make next year's Thanksgiving even more special. He screwed over Sandy and for that I will never forgive him ad he is marrying the craziest chic in the OC for that I don't respect him. Not to mention he blackmailed his soon to be step daughter which is just unacceptable and after all, why would he really want to live with her anyway. Guess he's all about nesting with Luke's leftovers.

So granted I have pretty much hated on each and every character and been a bit critical but deep down I have a hidden sweet tooth for the show... I can't wit to revisit the OC PATISSERE in the fall and I sincerely hope you will all venture there with me , but first, peruse the menu to see just what each character has to offer up...they all a have potential, a little sweetness and enough individuality to satisfy different cravings and tastes.

OC PATISSERE MENU:

Julie: Lemon Tart - Sour thru and thru but sometimes intriguing
Kristen: Cinnamon Roll: Sweet and comforting but always spinning
Ryan; Day old Corn Muffin: Discounted but a little stale
Luke: Jelly Filled: pretty outside but once u bite down its a mess
Sandy; Bagel w/ Lox: a tasty morsel that's a good option all day long
Kaleb: Kruller- an old time crusty confection that only my grandmother eats
Jimmy: Oatmeal Cookie: Lots goin on, a good option but not necessarily a favorite
Summer: Cupcake-Sweet , soft and a number one seller
Seth: Challah..at yo boy
Theresa: Chorro-seems tasty but just hollow on the inside
Haley; Donut Hole; interesting but not something you really cave all the time
Anna: Rainbow sprinkled donut; a little bit a spunk, fun and sweetness
Marissa: Croissant: Flakey, dry and leaves your hands all messy in the end

Hope you are working up an appetite b/c next season will be served up before you know i...stay tuned and the hostess will be right with you.

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Posted by on May 26, 2004 10:20 PM