We started the episode in a very familiar way - at the Cohen breakfast table, but there seemed to be something strangely missing from the whole scene. Like Seth. Ryan is about to have some cereal, but where is Seth to complete the little Abbot and Costello routine? Well, it turns out that Seth had escaped to Alex's place, and by the looks of they have been using those interlocking body parts of theirs to mutual satisfaction. Seth calls Ryan to ask for him to cover with his parents, because like me, they are going to be quite surprised when he is not at the breakfast table before we go to our first commercial break. Ryan does attempt to cover for Seth, but he fails miserably. He says that Seth left early for school to do a report on the history of agriculture in 20th century California. For some reason, Ryan is a terrible liar. I guess all of that time with Theresa didn't teach him anything. Coming up with an excuse for a friend's absence is nothing like faking a miscarriage. I think it is just another notch in his sanctimonious belt.

At Harbor, we soon learn that nighttime liaisons are not Seth's forte either. Maybe it's just his first time, but how can somebody not have the good sense to bring a new shirt or something if you are planning at sleeping over at your girl's house? You have a backpack, throw some Right Guard and shirt in there so you aren't such a dirt bag the next day at school. And let's hope to God that he brought a toothbrush, or at least did the "toothpaste on the finger" trick, although depending on where his fingers have been, it may have been better not to. Anyway, it's quite evident that Seth is definitely "morning after", which of course upsets Summer. She has had a ride on the Seth train, and has not yet had a chance to give Zach a ride. Again, I start to wonder just how savvy Summer is. Surely she should know by now that she can get her man to do anything after a blow job or two. Things haven't changed that much since I graduated, have they?

Although Sandy and Kirsten are upset about Seth, they each have have more important things on their mind. Basically, Sandy not only forgot that he was about to have another wedding anniversary, but he forgot that it was their twentieth anniversary. Sandy tries to convince Kirsten that he did remember, but it was such a big surprise that he didn't want to ruin the surprise by mentioning it. Uh, yeah.

Sandy is convinced that he has to come down hard on Seth and Ryan for lying. Hey, I don't blame him. Alex has so far led Seth to drinking and auto theft, armed robbery and homicide are the only things left, or at least that's what the Natural Born Killers school of parenting has me to believe. Sandy grounds them both, meaning no video games, no going out, etc., etc. The only thing they can do is study. He says that if they can't behave, he is going to have them stay at their grandfather's house, which means they will be under the supervision of Julie Cooper. It's more than enough to keep them in line, or at least that's what we think.

Well, luckily for Ryan, his study partner also happens to be his main source of nookie, meaning she should have no problem sneaking by the guards, which is of course the case. (By the way, I really hope Lindsay goes shopping with Kirsten more often. Lindsay must have found the slutty top section of the mall because she was bustin out all over the place.) Ryan and Lindsay are still having some reservations about revealing their relationship to Kirsten, so they are still trying to hide the fact that they are an item. But why wait? Wouldn't it be even more cruel to lull her into some sense of normalcy, then pull that rug out from under her? And why is Kirsten so sensitive? One of her sisters spent the summer sleeping with her high school boyfriend, is it that strange to see your other sister with your adopted son? If she was pregnant, then I would start worrying.

Posted by J-Unit on January 14, 2005 1:40 AM