By now we know that the Cohens aren't big on cooking. The only time anybody in the house has anything other than a bagel for breakfast, is one somebody is trying to bribe somebody, usually with pancakes, for some sort of error they had made. The Kirsten and the Sandy don't even pretend that they have any skill at cooking. Other than some pathetic attempts at Thanksgiving and some red meat on the grill every now and then, dinner is usually phoned in at the Cohens. Just because they aren't the Cleavers doesn't mean that Sandy doesn't enjoy a family meal every now and then. He has been busy with felons and porn movies, his wife has been busy with a magazine, his son has been busy with his girlfriend, and Ryan has been, uh, well being so self-righteous is like a full-time job in itself.

As determined as Sandy is with keeping the family together for dinner, it is sort of surprise when we see him answer the phone, and then let the person on the other side talk to Ryan. Seth is just about to go onto a long rant about why his dad would let Ryan talk on the phone, but we sense something is wrong. Ryan comes back to the table with a sullen and distant look on his face, and this is more sullen and distant than normal. He looks downright upset. What could it be? His pregnant girlfriend calling? "Oh, I had the baby BTW. Laters. Bye." Perhaps it was Lindsay "Uh, so this Chicago thing kind of sucks, plus I think I am pregnant. Tell Seth he's a father."

Those scenarios, while humorous, paled in comparison to the actual situation. Lest we forget, Ryan came to the Cohen household because the benevolent Sandy pulled him out of juvenile detention. Ryan was there for, among other things, stealing cars, but he didn't do it alone. His accomplice was his older brother Trey, and since Trey was over 18, Trey went to jail. After 18 months or so in the big house, it was time to go, and so Trey called Ryan to come pick him up the next day.

Even though the last time Trey asked Ryan to meet him in jail, he asked Ryan to steal a car. Ryan agreed to the plan to save his brother from getting beat up, but in the process Ryan almost took a beating himself. He was with Marissa at the time, and she had to save him by playing get away driver. With that in mind, Ryan woke up the next morning, put on his Chino gear (black jeans, white t-shirt, grey hoodie) and went to pick up Trey. Seth even offered to go with Ryan, saying seeing the prison might "scare him straight". You may be scared of prison Seth, but we know nothing is going to keep you apart from Ryan. Nevertheless, Sandy decided to go with Ryan, and Seth was forced to go to school.

Ah, Harbor. I'm sorry, but when we have episodes where the students actually pretend they go to school, it is much more entertaining. Teenagers often come across difficult situations, but they rarely act so middle-aged with everything they do. That's they way I felt with this show for much of the season, but a lot of that has passed. Summer and Marissa are talking about life, Ryan, and Seth, and I have to take a moment to talk about what they were wearing. Earlier this season, they were trying some nouveau Gatsby style, then moved on to Cockney chimney sweep couture, tried a little bit of crocheted shabby chic, and now they have tried a little hippie on for size. And just like the the 60s, it looked like Marissa had burned her bra. I might have been a little bit more distracted by her bouncing jubblies if some topless photos of Mischa Barton hadn't turned up this week. I speculated before that Mischa might have been working on some hips and curves, but these more recent pictures tell me she is back on the rigorous cigarette/coffee/laxative diet to keep those hot ribs in full view. And those shoulder blades, they just scream "Do me!", don't they?

Anyway, Marissa and Summer are discussing Ryan and his brother when Zach comes motoring in on his vespa. Water polo, no sex with women, vespa. No giveaway there. Zach has returned from Italy, and even though Summer left him at the altar, or check in counter as the case may be, he seems totally fine with seeing her. He's not pissed, and he even says he has a bunch of pictures to show her. As he goes to class, Summer also thinks that his spirits are kind of high for the way she treated him, and decides "He must be hiding something." Well, no kidding.

Posted by J-Unit on March 27, 2005 8:10 PM