What About Your Friends - 
by J-Unit
Satisfied that he won't have to call in Dr. Phil to fix his kids, Sandy moves on to see what is going on with his wife. There she is outside.... gardening? God, how generic could this rehab place be. Next thing you know, we'll find out she also took crocheting and is going to start making Chrismukkah sweaters for everybody. Sandy asks her what is going on, and Kirsten says that she learned in rehab that she must confront her fears. Her biggest fear is cooking so she starts off with an herb garden. I have always thought Kirsten's biggest fear was actually eating her food because she didn't want to get fat. She's obviously done a great job with that, and it makes Sandy as horny as ever.
Herb's the word, cooks the verb...
After a little hint at the sex that was going to go on in their shower, they cut to a one second shot of the ocean. I am not sure if people caught it, but I was wondering why the hell it was there. It was directly above the water, so no idyllic countryside, and literally was on screen for like a second. Was it all just a metaphor for the sex that we just saw was about to happen? I am so confused.
Marissa is making it through her first day without too much problem, except that she doesn't know where her classes are and she keeps on bumping into this bully who wants to beat her up. In their first meeting, this girl called Marissa "Newport Barbie". This time, Marissa bumped into her while she was trying to find a class. Like most new kids, she apologizes, and it looks like the bully girl is going to let her go, at least on one condition. She wants Marissa to tell her that she is better than her. When Marissa says she doesn't think she is better than her, the bully then asks, "What, do you think I am stupid?" I was waiting for Marissa to say, "Well, I don't think you're stupid, but the script says that since you dress in all black you have to be my enemy. Your dark clothes are a metaphor for how your dark soul threatens to black out my sunny outlook for the first day at my new school."
It's clear that the bully just wants to pick a fight, and it's clear that Marissa would not be much of a match for her. Luckily for Ms. Cooper, there is another girl who has been watching the whole thing and decides to give Newport Barbie a little helping hand. We learn that this other girl's name is Casey, and she appears to be the doppelganger of a 17 year-old Sheryl Crow if Sheryl Crow was like 1/8th Mexican.
Continuing through the rest of her day, Marissa has another one of those situations that only appear in your "first day at a new school" nightmares. She is trying to access her locker but can't remember the combination, or even which locker it is. A boy comes up to her to try and help, and starts to make some small talk. He tells Marissa locker assignments are in the vice-principals office, and that he will show her how to get there since he is so familiar with the place. Marissa thanks him, but says that her boyfriend will be coming to pick her up soon, and that she'll figure it out tomorrow. Out of nowhere, Casey comes by. I think that there is now going to be some fight between Casey and Marissa about the boy, Johnny, but it turns out that everything is cool. Casey and Johnny are together, and Casey has brought along their sidekick, Dennis. Dennis is awkward, rides a skateboard, and makes a lot of bad jokes.
Hmm, this all seems familiar. We have a bad boy who is always in trouble, his girlfriend who is pretty and the most stylish person in school, and their sidekick dorky boy with no social skills. It looks like Marissa has stumbled upon the Bizarro world version of her clique at Newport Union. It's really a perfect situation, and it looks like they want a new person to add to their clique, because they invite Marissa to get some grub afterwards. Marissa knows that Ryan is coming to pick her up, but she really wants to make friends, so she gives him a call. Even though Ryan is sitting in the parking lot waiting for her, he knows it will be easier for her if she made friends, so he doesn't make a fuss. But we all see the look on his face where he's thinking if he's already been replaced. I don't think Ryan has anything to worry about, at least until the inevitable moment when we learn Johnny got a girl pregnant, Casey has a drinking problem, and Dennis (who we are supposed to call Chili) reads comics.
When Marissa gets home, her mother asks her if she doesn't mind staying a Summer's house for a little while, and tries to make up an excuse about the lawyer thinking they were moving out and whatnot. Julie is a bad liar and Marissa sees through her excuse and says that she doesn't have to be protective anymore. Julie then tells Marissa that they are going to get through it, and when Marissa says that she believes her, that she knows she is a survivor and can trust her to get them through this, it means a lot to her mother. If we thought that Caleb being broke was a worst-case scenario for Jimmy, it is even worse for Julie. She has depended on men for her income, and never really planned for a time when she would have to do stuff on her own.
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