If You Love Something, Set It Free - 
by J-Unit
It's another year and another new episode of The OC. It's also another chance for me to think about how I would fix the show. I think part of the reason a lot of us tend to get bored with some episodes is that the producers really telegraph what is going to be happening in the next hour right in the first five minutes. For instance, in this week's episode, we learn that their mission is going to be getting Marissa back into Harbor. Perhaps there wasn't a natural way for all of this to happen, but for those of use who like even a schtickel of anticipation, it's a disappointment. That being said, I can't complain much because the episode was otherwise fun, had a lot of good dialogue, and the writers have left themselves open for a lot of shenanigans down the road. Sort of like starting your night out with some drinks and then moving on to some shrooms. You may have started out thinking it would be a boring night, but you're so happy at the end (or paranoid, it all depends), you don't really care how you got there.
I guess the writers were worried that jerks like me would start to complain that our Newport friends never go to anyplace other than the diner, because we find Ryan, Marissa, Seth, and Summer enjoying drinks at the Bait Shop. No, they don't have fake IDs; they're drinking mocktails. Mocktails are cocktails with no alcohol, so you have safe sex on the beach, fauxjitos (that would be a mojito sans rum, not Doritos made with olestra), and my personal favorite, the sober Russian (a white Russian devoid of vodka or Kahlua). It's the last night before the kids start their last semester at school, of their last year, so as Summer says, they should make it - all together now - LAST. Summer loves senior year so much, or at least the winter break, that she wishes she could TiVo it so she could play it again and again until graduation. Well, depending on how often Marissa's boob popped out, we may be able to help her out.
While Marissa goes to pee and Seth goes to get drinks, which is odd because they are already seated at the bar, Ryan and Summer discuss the upcoming week. The class picture is coming up, and Summer has a crazy plan. She sort of saved Chrismukkah, so why not try graduation? Dirty Dean Hess is gone, and besides, the people who kicked her out have probably forgotten by now, right? Well, Ryan is not so sure. After all, nobody gave him a second chance. They threw him out right after the fights, the arson, the underage pregnancy, the ex-con, having sex with minors, brother, and the expulsion, so why should he think anything would be different for Marissa, right? General Summer is on a mission, as are battle analogies. War Channel is the new Food Network, after all. I guess that makes Summer one hot Rachael Ray, and Ryan one short Bobby Flay.
Now, we saw the campaign to bring Marissa back a mile away. I'm not even going to gloat about the prediction because A) it was so easy and B) anything that might limit Johnny's involvement is something to be celebrated. Besides, this is the time of year when seniors are starting to look for something to do. Seth makes the point very well; with college applications out, things like learning and homework or 10% effort in gym class are hard to come by. Still, he wants to know what it is exactly they're trying to save Marissa from, besides the bohemian hipster look we thought died when we all saw Britney walk into that bathroom barefoot. Summer kindly reminds him that she is at public school, a place where she'll have mediocre lunches, ill-fitting gym shorts, and lots of poor kids.
A good attitude is great, but there are practical considerations. Ryan goes to see Dr. Kim about reinstating Marissa. She says that it is up to the board, and while she doesn't think he has much of a shot, promises to get Marissa's statement on the agenda for their next meeting, which is Thursday. As an added bonus, she even gives Ryan a hint to help him along. There is a case from the fall of 1996 (coincidentally, J-Unit's senior year) that has some precedent to Marissa's case. How nice of the producers to bring a little stare decisis to a new generation of young people who don't have the time to have Joe Biden explain it to them.
Ryan, Summer, and Seth didn't tell Marissa about their plan because they didn't want to get her hopes up, or maybe they didn't want to ruin the episodes by telling her and then she would realize that they have 40 minutes of air time to finish it or else. Therefore, Marissa was at Newport Union, and she finally hears some good news from Johnny. Thanks to the doctor Marissa got for Johnny, he should make a full recovery. Better yet, somebody at the Pac West surf team got caught testing positive for drugs, meaning Johnny would have an alternate slot, and could work his way back from his injury in time to compete next year. I was very happy for Johnny, because now he might be able to get his own life, and perhaps some slutty surf groupies to get his mind off of Marissa. Alas, that is not to be, as Johnny invites Marissa to a party celebrating his entry on the team. She says yes, and at this point, I am hoping that the next time he gets hit by a car, it's an Escalade, and it puts us out of our misery.
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