Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Marissa's situation is so desperate that they ask Taylor Townsend for help. If there is anybody that can get the masses to move out of passion or sheer terror, it is Taylor Townsend. And let's face it, she has so few friends, she's willing to do just about anything in order to make any of them happy, even if they mysteriously lost the invites to her Boxing Day party. When she hears that they need her help to bring Marissa back, she is not that enthusiastic. Ashley and Madison are there to remind Taylor that Marissa's return will be social disaster for Taylor. When you remember that kids were throwing shoes at her before, there's not a long way she can drop, but it's still scary. And if that wasn't complicated enough, it was Taylor's mom that had started the original petition to get Marissa expelled in the first place.

So, they have Taylor on board, but the rules of the school board require that a parent advocate be present to speak on behalf of the students. Hmmm, is there anybody that the kids know that has argued for children in front of a panel of some sort? Maybe to convince a judge or jury? Oh, that's right, Sandy Cohen! We have never actually seen Sandy in court, and he seems to have given up any use for his doctorate of jurisprudence. That's OK, because the writers would probably confuse themselves anyway. Ryan asks Sandy for his help, and although Sandy gets worried when Ryan is thinking more about Marissa's future instead of his own, there are too many things going for this case that Sandy can't resist. It's a good cause, his client has poor odds of winning, and his mere presence will surely infuriate plenty of Newpsies. Therefore, he HAS to take the case. Sandy LOVES student activism.

Now that they have a plan, and the plan is coming together, Ryan decides to break the good news to Marissa. She is sort of excited, but not completely stoked because hey, they're only giving her a chance to spend the rest of her senior year with all of her best friends. Why would she do that when she has Johnny, the love child of Kermit the Frog and an Olsen twin, and his hot party to go to? And to be perfectly honest, Johnny is just an alternate on the surf team, which is like saying you are on the wait list at Harvard. Sure, things might go his way and he'll go on to fame and riches, or he'll just enroll at Tufts and become a podiatrist. Later on, when Marissa told Summer about her scheduling conflict, I was really hoping Summer would throw her laptop at Marissa to knock some sense into her. Thankfully, Marissa realized that she should take this chance, and decides to break the bad news to Johnny the next day. It shouldn't be that hard, and Chili probably deserves to be there more than her anyway.

At Harbor, the campaign to bring back Marissa is in full swing. They have flyers and t-shirts with a "Free Marissa" theme, patterned after the "Save Mary Kate" t-shirts that appeared on the internets almost two years ago. (Although, I must admit, they look more like the "Free Mumia" t-shirts I saw everywhere when I visited UPenn in 1996.) Even Taylor Townsend is enthusiastically behind the cause; that is, until her mother, Veronica, finds out that Taylor is behind all of that promotion. Veronica pulls Taylor aside, and thanks to Summer's great lip-reading abilities, we are able to get an idea at that they are saying. How did she learn how to read lips? Star magazine, of course, although I am going to wait until it shows up in Cosmo before I run to the newsstands. Basically, Veronica tells Taylor that she doesn't have any real friends, and there will be consequences if she doesn't stop. Although Taylor is willing to enter a brand new world, like wearing jeans to school, she is not ready to stand up to her mother, and quits the campaign.

Although he is not aware of their little setback, Ryan goes to Newport Union to give Marissa one of the new "Free Marissa" shirts, and now that I think about it, wouldn't it have been funnier to make a "Marissa Shot Me" t-shirt with "And I loved it" on the back? Come on, even Trey would laugh at that one. During this time, Marissa gets a call from Chili, and decides that she has to leave. She says that Chili is sick and that she has to go, but Ryan is too smart and suspects something else, and he's right. Marissa gets to Johnny's house, and sees Chili is in tears. At this point, I really thought that maybe Johnny had shot himself and was at the hospital, but I knew he had to be back to fall in love with Caitlyn, so there had to be another explanation. Chili explains that Johnny just got word that the Pac West doctors won't clear him to be on the team. Seriously, this is not THAT big of a problem, is it? So he doesn't make the team. He can continue his rehab and get a job selling Sex Wax or something, all the while getting even better at surfing. If he's that good, he can make the team next year. No, Johnny decides to get upset, trash his room (which parallels his trashed future), and run away. A famous philosopher once said, and I paraphrase, "If you can't stop sucking, get a job holding dicks." For the love of God, I hope that Johnny will stop sucking or look for that new job very soon.

Posted by J-Unit on January 14, 2006 3:25 PM