Around this time, my new favorite Chodorow minion, Sarah, sat Rocco down and in a sweet but sternly British way called him out, saying that she has a job to do and he better slow his roll. Rocco quickly dismissed her - what do women know, right? - and said that he'd assign his security guard to the silverware to make sure it never leaves the building. Usually in these reality TV moments, the big dog goes unchecked, but Sarah voiced what I assume all the viewers had to say: "Isn't that like the most ridiculous way ever to handle the situation?" Gotta love Sarah. Unless you're Rocco, in which case you're realizing that flirting will do no good so he might as well treat her like shit.

The show took a minor detour to chronicle a flare up in the kitchen. Literally. The wall caught on fire. Rocco wanted to know if the food was okay. Jeffrey wanted to know if anyone was hurt. Carol wanted to know if her J-Date had arrived.

As the first episode came to a close, Jeffrey and Rocco wound up bizarrely in couples therapy, sort of. Rocco inserted himself in a table full of therapists and rattled off a list of his problems. He called himself a narcissist, but Rocco has to learn that being aware of one's flaws doesn't excuse them. Jeffrey was called over from his nightly gabfest with the Chinagrill Management folk and a somewhat sane dialogue was finally opened at the therapist table, despite Rocco eating the food off his customer's plate with his fingers. Uplifting Mark Burnett music led us to believe a breakthrough was made, and this was paralleled by chef Tony apologizing for a squabble he had with a line chef. This was a strange note to end on, and surprisingly, I found myself wanting to see more of the therapists and less of Rocco.

If the first episode was a mixed bag of chaos, the second installment Saturday night was a well constructed drama with a central conflict and many innocent victims. The plot was simple: trod-upon head chef Tony was given a raise by Chodorow, but the very next day, Rocco fired him. The staff was shocked, especially the appetizer chef who acted like she had just witnessed the Hindenburgh. Gossiping ensued, led by the head yenta who went about spreading her usual anti-Rocco goodwill. To make up for Tony's absence, Rocco donned his chef's hat (aka pizza dough) and cooked for about an hour or so, but then retreated to the dining room where he could relish in his celebrity, leaving the leaderless kitchen in chaos. Rocco finished out the night by heading back to his office early and chomping on a cigar while Laurent stared condescendingly at his boss. Nothing gets by Laurent.

What was fascinating about the second episode, aside from the inherent drama Tony was forced into, was how poor Rocco's management style really is. I know there's a lot of creative editing that goes on, but certain strands of truth can be gleaned from the footage. First is how out of touch Rocco is with his kitchen. Rocco has never been a Tony fan, and in this episode, he accuses him of being insubordinate and shifty. Apparently Tony nods whenever Rocco tells him to do something and then doesn't do it. Rocco is the boss, and Tony should follow his orders, but if Rocco is never present, can Tony be faulted for assuming a more independent role in the kitchen?

The problem here is that Rocco has seasonal micromanagement disorder. It's a disorder that affects many bosses. It happens when a boss delegates certain responsibilities to an underling, who then forms processes and methods to carry out his or her plans. Then one day, for usually unexplained reasons, the boss decides to take a more proactive role and butts into these tried and true methods. Confused and usually threatened, the boss doesn't ask for an explanation or even suggest ways to improve the methods. Instead, the boss just insists that it must all come to an end, usually sending everyone into a tailspin. It's just this sort of random micromanaging that has led Rocco to believe Tony is undermining him. And by taking over Tony's position, Rocco not only sent the kitchen into chaos, he completely derailed it by disappearing into the night.

As for Tony, he was extremely gracious and level headed when Rocco fired him coldly (while signing autographs, no less). What could have been a smooth transition was completely undermined by Rocco having his goon break into Tony's locker, retrieve his personal items, and then escort him away from the restaurant. I understand that bosses need to pull those sort of dick moves with unstable clients, but this was totally unnecessary. Tony responded by locking himself in Rocco's conference room. Mark Burnett wanted us to believe that the chef had gone crazy, but all he was doing was making a phone call and changing clothes. No big deal.

Jeffrey was understandably peeved at Rocco, and he yelled at him over the phone in a tan sweater blaze of glory. Later, Jeffrey slipped into the rare black sweater and informed the staff that Tony would be relocated to a different restaurant. Yenta was happy to have more fodder for her gossip machine, and as Rocco puffed his stogie while his bistro languished across the street, I couldn't help wondering if the therapists had made any comments about self-fulfilling prophecies and Intern Drew's label for Rocco: Captain Douchebag.

Posted by B-side on May 31, 2004 11:30 PM