Hey Verne, Is That You? - 
by madeyoulaugh
As the fourth season of Surreal Life kicks of on VH1, one thing becomes clear very quickly... Joanie Laurer's underwear isn't the only thing filled with nuts.
Review and VIDEO OF VERNE "MINI ME" TROYER NAKED PEEING on the carpet after the jump...
First to arrive in the house was former WWE and current star of her own scary porn video Joanie Laurer A.K.A. Chyna Doll A.K.A. a dude. She chooses the only single room which seems some what "mini" as if it we designed for someone of small stature. Chyna happens to be about 9 feet tall, and there is also a person who is just over 2 feet tall entering the house...makes perfect sense she should take the room. Next up in the house is former Brady, Chris Night, who is emerging as the Dave Coulier of this season.
Others to emerge to the house of shame, Da Brat, Next Top Models Adrianne Curry, moron model Marcus Schenkenberg, Verne "Mini Me" Troyer and Jane Wiedlin from The Go-Go's.
When Verne arrives and finds his "special needs" room has been taken by Chyna Doll, he threatens to leave the house. Chyna encourages Verne to be the "bigger man" and just let the rooms remain as they are, but alas...he's no big man. After a brief encounter the likes of which haven't been seen since season 2 of Carnie Wilson's talk show, Chyna finally relents and the mini room goes to the mini man.
Once the room conflict's resolved, the cast gathers for "Dinner on Adrianne," ...literally. Forcing flashbacks to season 1 when Hammer and Emannuel Lewis refused to eat sushi off a naked woman, the cast of season four were all too thrilled to mow down off their housemate. Particularly Verne, who seemed more interested in Americas Next Top Table, than he was in the food. Thankfully someone had the sense to make "crab between your legs" and "tuna" jokes on the show, freeing me up from that responsibility.
As Verne was caressing and staring at the Next Top Table, he downed a few shots. making him too drunk to enjoy the nudity that ensued post dinner as Adria and Jane skinny dipped in the jacuzzi. He did come out later, just in time to drink some more and humoursly pass out on Chris Brady's arm. Though the fun was just to begin...
In what is sure to set the little person movement back several days, Verne later emerged from his room in the middle of the night naked, drunk, and rolling around in his scooter in a failed attempt to find a urinal. What he found instead was a corner of a room which he mistook for a urinal, which is easy to do since most urinals are often obstructed by big blue exercise balls. seen The video can be here.
I was too busy peeing myself from laughter to really know or care how the episode ended, but I did get a sample of how the housemates feel about Verne in their song entitled "The Pee-Song" set to air at a later date. That video can be seen here.
Well this promises to be an interesting season to say the least. when the first hour includes a nude model, a nude singer, a nude midget and urination....one never knows where rest of the season may go. I have $5 on Chris Brady stroking a Hawaiian Tiki while the 2 models defecating on Verne whilst Da Brat is on the phone with her manager begging to be let free. Guess we will just have to wait and see.
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Comments
I was sure my neighbors could hear me two houses over, I was laughing so loud! This recap was pretty lightweight, but I understand--to put into words all the hilarity of this episode is almost impossible. By the way, why does Da Brat not know she is a has-been and a D-List celebrity? That was the funniest part of the whole show! I didn't think anything could top Flav and Brigitte, but I am so glad to be wrong!
Posted by: joslyn | January 12, 2005 8:39 PM(#1 of 14)
Same here, Joslyn! I caught the midnight rerun and who knew it would turn into something so bellyaching hi-larious? I was snickering along till Marcus and Chris finally stopped trying to reason with Verne and just burst out laughing. "I mean look at me. I'm naked."
Can't say Marcus is a moron, but he is fine. Who knew years ago when I had his photos taped to my dorm room door, that I'd one day catch him heading into the gym near my office? What a gorgeous man...
Posted by: Lady J | January 12, 2005 8:54 PM(#2 of 14)
Jos-
It was light cause I was just rushing to get the verne pissing online before vh1 got some cease and desist order from mini's lawyers! next week will be more in depth. in the mean time...I mean...come on!! hes pissing! We are getting too close to these 'stars'
Madeyoulaugh
Posted by: madeyoulaugh | January 12, 2005 9:08 PM(#3 of 14)
MYL-
Trust-I am not hating. I was just glad to see a recap done on it, because I thought no one would even cover it. A cease and desist order, huh? Just knowing that VH1 sent you that is making me laugh uncontrolably again! Seriously, if I don't stop reading these recaps and comments, I am going to turn into a lonely old lady who laughs out loud for reasons only known to herself.
Posted by: jos1yn | January 12, 2005 9:26 PM(#4 of 14)
I couldn't stop laughing when I saw Verne peeing. That was so funny. Little people are so fun to watch. This is going to be an entertaining season. I just may have to watch "Baby's Day Out" because I can't get enough of Verne.
Posted by: Lisa | January 12, 2005 9:32 PM(#5 of 14)
I've never seen anything so disgusting and hilarious at the same time.
I love how he just sits and looks at the camera taping him piss all over himself (seriously guys there's no aim)
and then brats reaction?
classic.
Great post!!!!
Posted by: curlypacks | January 13, 2005 5:48 AM(#6 of 14)
Verne Troyer is disgusting. I don't know which was more disturbing, seeing "mini-me" naked or "Chyna" Doll.
Posted by: Tiny Tim | January 13, 2005 7:22 AM(#7 of 14)
Verne Troyer is disgusting. I don't know which was more disturbing, seeing "mini-me" naked or "Chyna" Doll.
Posted by: Tiny Tim | January 13, 2005 7:25 AM(#8 of 14)
I've known people to do far, far worse then pee on a carpet when they're drunk.
Posted by: Lady J | January 13, 2005 9:26 AM(#9 of 14)
Don't forget Verne before the peeing part when he was passing out in bed with his chant of a slurring "I'MALRIGHT I'MALRIGHT" (ad infinitum)
Posted by: Steg | January 13, 2005 9:33 AM(#10 of 14)
Yes what *was* that moaning about? I hope that is not what his orgasm sounds like!!! Wasn't he engaged to be married not that long ago? Maybe she heard that noise and was scared off!!!
Posted by: Reality whore | January 13, 2005 12:55 PM(#11 of 14)
whoah that video is strange/sad at the same time. man when I think of all the stuff I've done when I'm inebrated I'm really glad I'm not on TV...
I'm actually impressed with Da Brat's very kind reaction.
Posted by: Ananda Fan | January 13, 2005 1:48 PM(#12 of 14)
"I've known people to do far, far worse then pee on a carpet when they're drunk."
Hey, I only do it every other month or so. The farmer says it doesn't hurt the sheep.
Posted by: J-Unit | January 13, 2005 2:07 PM(#13 of 14)
This episode was so hilarious. Da Brat's commentary had me laughing throughout the whole thing. Mini-Me was so funny. He just cracks me up.
I cannot believe Adrienne, winner of America's Next Top Model Season 1 was on their acting like a slut. Tyra must be biting her nails and pulling her weave out after seeing such a display from a former winner.
Posted by: geovanni | January 13, 2005 9:03 PM(#14 of 14)