Omarosa was justifiably nervous before her "Dirty Laundry" segment. After all, as she said herself, "My doings in the house were documented." Yes, genius, they were. You'd think you'd be aware of that by now after appearing on 5 different reality shows in the last year or so. But hey, maybe she's got the whole thing worked out... and Sally Jesse was the one to find out.

Sally issued the opening salvo; "Suppose I told you I thought you were faking it all along?"
"You'd be right," came the somewhat surprising reply. So now we've come full circle in the reality game, it appears. Instead of the old, "It was the editing," excuse, we now have those reality whores we've always known are playing it up, admitting they're playing it up. In fact, Omarosa went on to say, "America thinks I'm a big villain, I'll run with it. It pays a big check these days. This is a profession for me now." Ugh, sickening. I'll refer everyone back to my last Surreal Life recap when I implored all casting directors to ignore this wench. Sally explored this frank admission later, so I'll hold off for now.

Omarosa continued up on the panel, "I came in to this house with an agenda. I'm a professor and I'm doing my research in reality television. I look at everything from a different perspective." This not only elicited a hearty laugh from yours truly, but from Janice Dickenson as well. A professor? Like a real professor? Omarosa lives in such a meta-world of real fakeness I can't seem to wrap my head around it. Perhaps it's because I went to a real college with real professors and I have a real job where I have real work to do. Whereas Omarosa is quite obviously a real bitch in the real world playing a bitchier bitch on real shows in order to "study" the reality TV phenomenon for her professorship and forthcoming book. There is something so slimy and disgusting about that, but I don't know how to put it into words.

"Dirty Laundry Seat Filler:" What to do when your band fails

The fakish crowd at the "Dirty Laundry" taping was interesting in that they hadn't seen the show or the previous interactions between Omarosa and Janice. Yet they ooooohed and aaaahhhhed like they were told to do. I was fully expecting Ron Popeil to appear and begin cooking chickens and turkey in his little mini rotisserie ovens for this crowd. Or, more likely, an Australian guy cleaning things. What is it about Australian accents that just scream, "My overpriced product can clean things better than anything!" Anyway, the crowd was decidedly anti-Omarosa - which of course she pretended to eat up. I guess, in a sense, Omarosa is the "heel" in WWE parlance. But every heel eventually turns and becomes a good guy. What Omarosa doesn't seem to understand is that she will never be the good guy - the world really does actually find her repulsive. From her fake horse smile to her odd topiary hairweave to her over mispronunciations to her empty bravado about her supposed credentials.

And if you didn't already hate her, perhaps the next scene from the show would help. Sally set up and played a clip of Omarosa between "confessional" takes - what was she like in her little one on one scenes with Surreal Life producers? If her "just acting like the people expect me to act" story held any water, then we'd expect a sweeter Omarosa "off camera," right? Wrong.

The perfectly nice sounding woman was heard off camera asking simple questions of Omarosa. "You only get a half hour from me, then I'm outta here, honey," was the off-putting reply. Because you have somewhere to be, bitch? What else could you possibly have to do? Didn't she sign a contract to be on this show? She kept calling the poor woman, "Honey," and essentially ignoring all of her suggestions. Finally, after the producer wouldn't give Omarosa her, "line," (something further blurring the lines between real and fake) Omarosa asked, "Where's the other producer? She's so much better than you. You gotta be ready for me, honey." Then she cackled like the witch she is. Hm, so okay... this conversation was all off-camera and certainly Omarosa knew it was not intended to be aired in any way. And yet, she was still a straight up C-Word. It was all quite fun to watch... You could see Omarosa was rather uncomfortable as the footage was essentially showing her to be the "bitchy reality TV villain" in real life and not just for show. Her giant smile got bigger and faker, her body language more uncomfortable. And I loved it.

Janice, ever the woman of the people, stood up for the producer lashing out at Omarosa, "That's mean! That's wrong!" Omarosa explained that she simply didn't like that producer, calling her, "Horrible." This, from a woman who admitted her "job" is to appear on these low-rent reality shows ("Celebrity Poker" anyone?) as though she had the Hollywood cred to diss others. Back to the footage, the executive producer stepped in to ask, "Do you think the American people can tell who's acting and who's being real and honest?"

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Posted by on October 8, 2005 7:21 AM