Golden Gasms 2005: Winners Revealed! - 
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Another close race. Conan won by a single vote, besting Jon Stewart. Andy Dehnart clearly was in the Daily Show camp: "[Jon Stewart is] actually funny, unlike Jay Leno, and he's innovative, unlike Letterman. The rest just aren't in the same league."
Best Judge/Authority:
- Paula Abdul, American Idol
- Simon Cowell, American Idol
- Janice Dickinson, America's Next Top Model
- Faye Dunaway, The Starlet
- Carolyn Kepcher, The Apprentice 3
- Bruno Tonioli, Dancing with the Stars
Best Host:
- Jeff Probst, Survivor: Palau
- Phil Koegan, Amazing Race 7
- Ryan Seacrest, American Idol
- Donald Trump, The Apprentice 3
- Gordon Ramsey, Hell's Kitchen
- Xzibit, Pimp My Ride
This category was a real surprise. We thought this would be a toss-up between Phil Koegan and Jeff Probst, but the Survivor host only pulled in one vote from Andy Dehnart who noted, "Jeffy has become more and more of an active presence with each subsequent season, and in many ways, he's a stand-in for viewers." He might be a stand-in, but when it comes to our hearts, we're clearly all Phil fans. sg-dub chalks it up to old fashioned breeding: "He's a class act and a real Choo-Choo Charlie." Surprisingly, Xzibit ranked a strong second, followed by none other than Gordon Ramsey, for whom EdHill seems to have a man-crush: "My catch phrase for the summer was randomly screaming 'BLOODY RISOTTO!!' in a British accent."
Best Hostess:
- Dawn, MTV's The 70s House
- Heidi Klum, Project Runway
- Julie Chen, Big Brother 6
- Missy Elliot, Missy Elliot's Road to Stardom
- Tyra Banks, America's Next Top Model
Heidi Klum definitely had her fans and was in fact only one vote away from making this a three-way tie. Mark Lisanti was a big fan of her work, remarking, "She bravely outperformed Bravo's first choice, a tangled pile of wire hangers." As for the world-famous Julie Chen, a.k.a. The Chenbot, Andy Dehnart wrote, "Julie Chen's hosting is about as far away from 'best' as is possible, but if she wins, she'll be encouraged to come back next year and suck for three more months, keeping us enraptured by her awfulness." Meanwhile, Tyra fans kept it real. J-Unit: "Tyra Banks gives me a boner."
Best Reality Star, Male:
- Bo Bice, American Idol
- Chris, The Apprentice 3
- Dewberry, Hell's Kitchen
- Greg and Brian, Amazing Race 7
- John Gulager, Project: Greenlight
- John O'Hurley, Dancing With The Stars
- Kaysar, Big Brother 6
- Lynn and Alex, Amazing Race 7
At first, this looked like it would be a surprise upset with John O'Hurley stealing the crown away from Kaysar. Paul Scheer wrote, "He really is J. Peterman. Watching him week after week is the closest thing we'll get to a Seinfeld spin-off." But eventually the voting results relented to the inevitable Kaysar lobby. sg-dub all but took a lead pipe to our heads when he wrote, "Listen to me through my clenched teeth and look into my intense glare. We. Must. Give. This. Award. To. Kaysar." I think sg-dub's been spending a bit too much time covering Prison Break...
Best Reality Star, Female:
- Carrie Underwood, American Idol
- Naima, America's Next Top Model: Cycle 4
- Gretchen, Amazing Race 7
- Janelle, Big Brother 6
- Kathy Griffin, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
- Maria, The Apprentice 2
- Stephenie, Survivor: Palau
- Whitney Houston, Being Bobby Brown
Our first double Gasm winner. Janelle easily staved off the competition to win this category. B-Side called her "Possibly one of the best reality stars of all time. And hopefully my future bride." Meanwhile, Bravo divas Whitney Houston and Kathy Griffin tied for second-place. Andy Dehnart wrote, "Reality TV and Kathy Griffin are the best pairing since Bert and Ernie." Honestly, have there been no good pairings since Bert and Ernie?
Best Actress:
- Shohreh Aghdashloo, 24
- Melinda Clarke, The OC
- Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives
- Jennifer Garner, Alias
- Kerri Kenney, Reno 911!
- Mary Lynn Rajskub, 24
- Nicolette Sheridan, Desperate Housewives
No contest here. Emmy's biggest snub finds nothing but love at the Golden Gasms. Paul Scheer lauded her performance, saying, "She did it all. She's Bad, She's Good, She's Shot in the Head."
Best Actor:
- Will Arnett, Arrested Development
- Adam Brody, The OC
- Steve Carrell, The Office
- Hugh Laurie, House, MD
- Dennis Leary, Rescue Me
- Peter Gallagher, The OC
- Jeremy Piven, Entourage
- Kiefer Sutherland, 24
Another near-tie. Jeremy Piven inched out Will Arnett by one vote to win this coveted award. "Gotta give props to Piven," explained B-Side, "The choice is more obvious than the hair implants atop his head. ZING!!! Tips in the jar. I'm here all week..."
Best Television Series, Scripted:
- 24
- Arrested Development
- Battlestar Galactica
- Desperate Housewives
- House MD
- The OC
- Veronica Mars
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