The Priest Is My Drug Lord; I Shall Not Want - 
by J-Unit
Veronica doesn't get her meat for the evening (and with Duncan gone, she might have to wait a while), but she does make it back to work in time to witness plenty of people butchering songs during Karaoke night. And if her job wasn't difficult enough, Weevil is asking for a favor: he wants Veronica to bug the confessional at St. Mary's. Veronica is all about doing what it takes to help a friend, whether it be tutoring him at Math, or proving that he didn't steal any of the Echolls credit cards, but bugging a confessional is a little much for her. Then Logan speaks up, saying that she would be helping just more than one person. Yes, Logan was also there, but seated at a separate table, and they both had their heads down for fear the wrong people would see them together and make an issue.
As you might imagine, Veronica was having a great time with these two guys desperately in need of her help. She gives them plenty of suggestions, including a two-piece disguise they could use, since at least one of them should have experience being a horse's ass. Logan pleads for help without all of the commentary, but he really isn't in the position to make demands, is he? Veronica does decide to help, but she will only put a video camera inside, not bug it for audio.
Surveillance video is something that Wallace would have loved, but the tapes from that evening at White Castle were missing, and neither Guy Abrutti, who was working the drive through that morning, or Neil Patrick Harris were anywhere to be found. Therefore, Wallace is going to need yet another plan. But first, Veronica needs to work on booking that trip straight to hell she has always wanted.
Veronica heads to St. Mary's and does indeed bug the confessional. Patrick Fitzpatrick is indeed one scary looking bastard, but when Veronica begins to speak to him about the things that she has done, namely trying to get revenge on people who have done bad things, Father Patrick recalls how he too used to be somebody who wasn't quite on the up and up, and we aren't talking about making the altar boys listen to Michael Jackson music; he actually spent time in prison for assault. Without getting all Sunday School on everybody, Father Patrick quotes the book Romans. The gist of the message? "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Does that sound like the mind of a ecclesiastical drug mastermind? I didn't think so.
Wallace's last hope of getting face to face with Rucker is an Alpha party at UCLA. Veronica was thinking about joining along, but seeing that Alpha was a black fraternity, she decided to let Wallace go in alone so as not to attract any attention. Wallace goes inside, finds Rashard, and tries to appeal with him about "doing the right thing", and that he can't walk away from the truth. Rashard says that he thought Wallace was his friend until he ratted him out, reminded him that there was a lot at stake, and told Wallace that if he continued to mess with him, he'll hit back just as hard.
If that wasn't enough of a let down for Wallace, a few minutes later he saw Jackie. You remember Jackie, his ex-girlfriend. He hadn't really been returning her phone calls since he got back, and they were kind of on the outs. Jackie had even suggested that she, Wallace, and Veronica could hang out and watch a movie, knowing that such a gesture towards Veronica might make Wallace happier. Wallace said he was busy, and it looks like Jackie moved on with her life, because she was at the party, and she was talking with Rashard.
Is It a coincidence that this asshole sports superstar bears a striking resemblance to T.O.?
Man, that's just cold. It's one thing to accuse a guy of vehicular manslaughter, but do you have to take his girl as well? Wallace tries to tell Jackie that Rashard is trouble, but Rashard has the ice-cold brothers of traditionally black fraternity party security take care of Wallace, which involves throwing him in a closet. Meanwhile, Rashard and Jackie take her Porsche to a Hollywood Club. A ha! That's where Veronica's club connection is going to come in handy. Remember, last week she met a deputy who worked security and offered to get her in at any time. She must follow them and talks some sense into Rashard herself, right? And she can embarrass Jackie at the same time? That would just be too perfect!
Actually, it really didn't go down like that. Wallace did see Monty Rucker, and Rashard's uncle once again told Wallace that he should leave, and stay away from Rashard. The look on Monty's face when Wallace said that Rashard had already left with his ex-girlfriend was great, but Wallace was willing to help out and let him know where to find Jackie. He may have to witness this guy taking Jackie away from him, but it doesn't mean he can't extract some petty revenge. Monty heads to the club, and the funniest thing happens. Veronica's contact, who is checking for weapons at the door, does the old switcheroo with Monty's magic phone, and hands it over to Veronica. You're a rascal Veronica Mars!
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