Author: Amanda

Hi everybody! I’m back in the U.S. of A. and finally ready to get back to the important work of recapping Prison Break. Umnata wasn’t able to cover for me last week, so I’ll start out with a few paragraphs mini-recapping last week’s show: Michael, Linc, Tweener, and T-Bag nosed around the subdivision in Utah [...]

Passions! Chad and Whitney gaze down at their no-longer-incest-born son, Miles. They fondle each other and gush about how happy they are that they can be together now. Just in case we had forgotten how disgusting this storyline was, Chad recalls that when he and Whitney thought they were brother and sister, they continued to [...]

Previously on Prison Break: Michael and Link parted ways with the other escapees. Sucre found out that his girlfriend Maricruz was being stolen away from him by a guy named Hector. C-Note told his family that he’s coming home. Michael and Link lost their escape car and all of their gear. Dr. Tancredi was revealed [...]

Welcome to my first attempt at recapping Prison Break. Umnata did an awesome job last week, and I just hope I can get from A to B without dropping the ball. I have never recapped a show this dense, or, actually, any show that wasn’t completely mindless drivel. If I get stuff wrong, please let [...]

Let’s check in with Passions, shall we? It’s been approximately thirty years since my last recap, but I think you’ll find that doings are fairly slow in Harmony. Don’t worry, though – there’s still plenty to mock. We’ll start out with this past Friday’s episode, as usual. The show opens with Ethan having a steamy [...]

Who will win So You Think You Can Dance? That’s what the commercial wants to know, albeit without bothering to use a question mark, and it’s what we’re all about to find out. Cat has decided to go out with a bang, ugly outfit-wise. Basically, she’s wearing a long-sleeved shirt and no pants. Yeah, that’s [...]

Oh, NO. This week on So You Think You Can Dance, we’re back to the bad, fugly PromCat. Blinding sparkly silver tinfoil dress, matching giant sparkly bracelets, and enormous, poofy hair. I knew last week’s gorgeosity couldn’t last. Our top four dance on in, and they’ve all decided to give Cat a run for her [...]

Time for a brand spankin’ new Passions recap, and it’s only been a week since my last one. Now you all can finally get a sense of how little actually happens on this show when the characters aren’t gallivanting around Rome. Remember, a week of Passions is five entire hours of television – yet this [...]

Can y’all believe that the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance is coming up in just a few days? I can’t. Where will I turn for meaning in my life? Anyway, here’s what happened on this week’s results show. First off, Cat wore pants! Obviously this is a sign of a tear [...]

Whew – the performance show of So You Think You Can Dance is only an hour again. Cat tells us that next week’s show, with the final four, will be the very last performance show. I was wondering about that. And with that, our final six dance on in. Heidi, for some reason, looks like [...]

Gah – two weeks of Passions in one recap again. Unfortunately, everybody has now come back from Rome, and so the action has slowed way down. Don’t worry, though – it’s still extra dumb! We still have mermaids, amnesia, and lesbians, even if none of them is as active as we might wish. We’ve also [...]

Results show time! We dive right into an amazing So You Think You Can Dance group number – “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago. I love this song anyway, and Tyce DiOrio did an incredible job with the choreography on this routine. It’s a cliche, but the best word for this dance is “fierce.” I’m sorry [...]

This week, America is reeling from the Tour de France dopiong scandal, the war in Lebanon, and – perhaps most jarring of all – Dmitry’s shocking dismissal from So You Think You Can Dance. Can the new performance episode restore some tiny shred of order and stability to our troubled lives? Let’s all look to [...]

Results time! I have no idea what to expect from this hour of So You Think You Can Dance, because the format changes have left it wide open. We start with some melodramatic drums and lighting, which makes me think “group dance,” which makes me do a little happy dance of my own. (Don’t worry [...]

Tonight on So You Think You Can Dance, we enter the brave new world of the top ten. Nigel has promised us radical changes to the show’s format. This is uncharted territory, folks. But let’s cling to the familiar by examining Cat’s outfit before we go any further. At first I think Cat is dressed [...]

First of all, I would like to apologize to the billions of Passions fans who have been waiting far too long for me to post this recap. I got behind when I was away on business, and then I gave priority to catching up on my So You Think You Can Dance duties. Hopefully, this [...]

This week on the So You Think You Can Dance results show, the judges will have to cut someone I like for the first time. Onward and upward! The opening number is a disco extravaganza. It’s the clothes that make this one. Travis has a sparkly lavender jumpsuit. Ivan is a sparkly pimp. Dmitry is [...]

If you ever doubted that So You Think You Can Dance is one of the shoddiest, most bootleg productions on television, Wednesday night’s broadcasting strategy surely put your doubts to rest. Here is a description of Fox’s brilliant programming move. First, they aired the standard promos about how we were going to see two full [...]

The So You Think You Can Dance results show feels all snuggly and welcoming after my long absence. Just to make me feel even more at home, Cat is back to dressing in Jungle Fug, with a hideous, hideous dress that looks like it has two dead pythons stapled to its front, and a weird [...]

Wow – I missed y’all! And I missed this So You Think You Can Dance. I am wasting away up here in a primitive, television-free wilderness land commonly known as Connecticut. Actually, for all I know, this might be the only house in all of Connecticut that lacks a TV. Either way, it’s a barbaric [...]

I just wanted to post and let everybody know that I haven’t been able to recap this week’s So You Think You Can Dance yet … because I am away on a business trip with no television. As you can imagine, this is causing me a great deal of psychic pain. I’m even trying to [...]

Last week was one of Passions‘ funniest ever. The title says it all: A bunch of lesbians came to the rescue. You really don’t need any more than that, but there were also two separate paternity bombshells. It was like one of those episodes of Maury: “Julian, when it comes to twenty-six-year-old Chad, you are [...]

Oh, how I love the results show of So You Think You Can Dance. We get to cut down this ridiculous, bloated cast, moving us ever closer to our noble goal of … um, finding somebody a job backup dancing for Celine Dion. We get to watch the soloists twist in the wind, frequently in [...]

I have to admit that this show is reeling me in, and I’ve been looking forward to seeing what would happen with the contestants this week. Would Aleks stop acting like she’s on her way to the electric chair, and would she and Dmitry gel as a new team? Would we get closure on the [...]

This week on Passions, Alistair finally cracks the coded inscription on the chalice, so very soon we should find out what godlike powers he now possesses. Hopefully, he’ll grow to be 200 feet tall and start shooting lightning bolts out of his eyes. That’s my vote; what’s yours? Elsewhere, Kay practically performs a striptease on [...]

Welcome to my first ever results-show recap. For the recap of the performance show, scroll down and look for the picture of two (clothed) people engaging in an obscene act on primetime TV! There might not be anything that juicy tonight, but hey, we got a guy in a dress right here. What more do [...]

In terms of sheer minutes of time-wasting power, this show may be the single largest piece of summer trash in existence. Yes, I’m talking about So You Think You Can Dance. Now, I just started watching this show, and I am no kind of dance expert. However, I do know a lot about trashy TV [...]