Author: ApplePie

Welcome to SEASON 10 of this wonderful, wonderful way to spend 60 minutes or so!  I’m standing in for PottyMouth, your regular SYTYCD recapper, for this first ep.  I’m so excited the new season has begun!  Unfortunately, the FOX site won’t let me watch the show on my ‘puter, I tried to take screen shots from my [...]

Hola, Gasmii.  I hope all of you who did this one or more times (or adopted or welcomed children some other way) had a happy Sunday.  And FYI, I found a LOT of pictures more graphic than the one above showing labor and birth, so you’re welcome for not posting those.  Let’s get started on [...]

Hola, Gasmii!  Last week on this show, the last stupid person was kicked off. Looks like the kid is fine now, except that his dad is still Gary Busey. The remaining contestants take stock and realize they each have a win under their belts this season and may have to finally bring their A games [...]

Hola, Gasmii.  Sorry I didn’t ‘cap last week.  I was too busy moving to a suburb of this mega-city: Big City of Dreams from a suburb of this mega-city: Big City of (Kim Jong-Un’s) Nightmares A 13-hour time change coupled with a 14-hour flight completely did me in (but yay for being home in ‘Merica!).  So I missed [...]

Greetings, Gasmii.  The world is a sad, crazy, dangerous place.  I’m glad we have some reality tv to take our minds off of things, at least temporarily. I think we all agreed in the comment thread last week that The Incredibly Shrinking Team Powerless DEFINITELY would have won the task if they had spelled Melania [...]

Yay for one-hour episodes — all of the flavor, none of filler.  Is it weird that we didn’t see Lisa personally hand over the $400,000+ check to St. Jude’s reps this ep? Meanwhile, in the Hurt Feelings Trump Suite, no one is whining about themselves while waiting to see which Team Power members return from [...]

Hola, Gasmii!  Thanks so much for all of your comments every week!  I love reading them. This episode was only an hour, strangely.  I don’t live in the U.S. right now, so I didn’t watch this live and can only assume that the network halved The Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday because he needed to talk [...]

Last time, on The Celebrity Apprentice, LaToya Jackson made one of the two dumbest decisions of her life when she didn’t bring Omarosa back to the boardroom. Buying this nose was the other dumbest decision. In case anyone couldn’t figure this out, Gary’s feelings are hurt about being thrown under the bus AGAIN for being, [...]

Greetings, Gasmii!  Thank you for all of your comments.  You’ve all given me a lot to think about, and I certainly need to visit Universal Studios Orlando now after reading about all the rides.  What I’m reading in the comments makes me realize that ALL of these celebrities have some positive trait that explains how [...]

Hi, all!  Welcome back to reality show purgatory.  Since Episode 1, I have found out why Latoya Jackson is doing this show (thanks, tvgasm on Facebook, or I would not have known).  I also have to give mad props to the stonily beautiful Ivanka, who was wise enough to take a page out of her mom’s [...]

Welcome to Season 13 of The Apprentice!  This is the “All Star” season of Celebrity Apprentice, and the only redeeming quality of this show is that the contestants raise significant money for charity.   I have to apologize up front because I have never watched this show, so I expect a barrage of corrections and [...]

We’re in Chicago, Gasmii, for Episode 2 of Season 12.  Do you think Lady Butterfly is going to push Black Barbie into Lake Michigan?  A few things first before we get to the specifics: 1)  Mimi & Nicki need to quit it with the “English” accents.  Annoyed me the whole time. 2)  In general, Mimi [...]

***ApplePie leads us into the month of your June funnies. Enjoy! Ahhhhh … remember June?  When it was warm?  And you could see this at some random South Jersey beach? Keep it classy, girls.  Where’s the Natty Light? BTW, Gasmii, y’all are freakin’ funny.  There were TONS of funny comments, but I got tired after [...]

Happy Finale Season, Gasmii!  I hope you all get what you want in terms of character arcs and plot resolutions in your t.v. stockings this year.  I can’t decide if I’m ready to hibernate until Season 6 arrives, or if I need this nine-month break to renew my suspension of disbelief that this show requires.  [...]

Hola, Gasmii!  I sincerely hope your Thanksgiving/Black Friday/two more days of leftovers were fantastic!  My weekend looked like this: Jealous?  Maybe I should stop pushing ‘em out, eh? Jax is having some “virtual” quality time with his progeny, too, writing letters to T&A in his Deep Thoughts Diary again, with his golf pencil.  Ever heard [...]

HAPPY TURKEY HOMICIDE DAY! MMMMMMMMMM…..  Kill the white one. I apologize for the all-caps.  I am not yelling at you, Gasmii, but I might be a little inebriated right now.  Maybe I’ll be funnier in this recap while I’m drinking.  Let’s find out! It’s morning at Casa Teller, and Jax walks into Thomas’s room to [...]

Greetings, Gasmii!  Are you ready for Thanksgiving?  More importantly, are you ready for the “early Black Friday” store openings at 8 pm on Thanksgiving Day?  I’m betting at least one person will get trampled in the continental U.S. this year.  Turkey makes you slow … all that tryptophan. Maybe you should eat ham next Thursday. [...]

Happy Election Week, Gasmii!  I hope all your dreams came true, and if they didn’t, well, the 22nd Amendment ensures that The Big O is done for real in four more years. You’re welcome, Republicans! For those of you who watched SoA instead of election coverage, let’s do this!  Jax wakes up in Abel’s hospital [...]

Happy Halloween!  Dia de Los Muertos!  All Souls Day!  … whatever you’re celebrating this week! Any holiday’s a good day to spend with the Sons … let’s get started. We open with paramedics at the scene of Gemma’s one-car accident.  The Escalade fought the tree and the tree won.  The Whomping Willow strikes again. Gemma’s [...]

Anyeonghaseyo, Gasmii!  Hope you all are having a good week.  Let’s jump right in: No pensive letter-writing voiceover as the opener tonight, since Jax has too much shit to do this episode.  He and Bobby are out for a night ride.  Meanwhile, at Clay’s, there’s a lot of drinking and haranguing going on. You said [...]

Greetings, Gasmii!  Welcome to a very satisfying episode of SoA.  It’s satisfying because, well, a lot of people die.  Alas, one of those people is not the supposedly-back-in-Indiana-Emma-Jean.  I’d feel better knowing EJ was dead and not going to make a reappearance, but no such luck. Here’s hoping! Want to play a drinking game this [...]

Hello, Gasmii!  Hope you’re all having a great week!   Let’s get our motors running: Jax is writing another letter to Abel & Thomas.  Apparently, he HATES a lot of people, and it’s keeping him up at night.  He’s riding around on his motorcycle when he should be sleeping next to the woman who used to [...]

Hola, Gasmii!  Time to catch up with our favorite badasses (and the men they love who ride bikes).  Thanks goes out @andyourlittledogtoo, who explained what a “SHU” is in last week’s comment thread!  Keep those comments coming! We open with Jax and the Sons riding home from their stint at SJCCF, and as they ride [...]

Let me preface this recap by saying this is the kind of episode that makes you want to recover by curling up in bed with a box of powdered sugar “Donettes” (yes, you evil advertising execs, giving sugary doughnuts a petite-sounding name creates the illusion that I am inhaling fewer calories) and sob “I just [...]

Hola, Gasmii!  Kurt Sutter decided to celebrate Hispanic Heritage month with some stereotypes.  I better work on my espanol (pretend there’s a tilde over the n, please), because Nero’s throwing around witticisms in la lengua otra like there’s no tomorrow in this ep.  Previously on SoA: Opie’s still pissed. For the love of Pete, can [...]

Hi, Gasmii!  I’m so excited to be recapping SoA this season.  If you haven’t seen this show before … well, I don’t think I can catch you up on the last four seasons.  However, this graphic is exemplary of what you can expect from this show: Yes, she hit her in the face with a [...]

Apple Pie here, subbing for Potty Mouth. Hope I can make PM proud! 16 Left, 2 more to go tonight … welcome to So You Think You Can Dance! Damn, Cat, you even make goth look good! Aw, fuck! They let Amelia have her way and gave the group a black and white Chaplin-esque (pre-recorded) [...]

Last season on True Blood, a whole lot of shit went down.  Let’s see if I can cover it as quickly as the “Previously, on True Blood” summation did: That chick from the Authority, Nan, named Bill King of Louisiana Apparently, the sun isn’t the ONLY thing that causes wrinkles. Sookie found out she’d been [...]

Previously, on Duets: I cried when I realized this one person I respect immensely, Forget the stellar musicianship and charming personality, look at that BEAUTIFUL SKIN!!! these two people I appreciate for their talent, GIRL POWER! and this guy, I wonder if he really is “thicke”? who is still overcompensating for this: Canadian Dad of [...]

Uh-oh … our opening montage is a combo of Paul Simon’s Home with slo-mo videos of the Final Three performing in their hometowns.  I never realized how ugly all three of them look while singing until AI slowed down the footage for me.  Thanks for that!  Also, what’s with the pirate map they keep flashing [...]

  This  … is Episode THIRTY-SEVEN of Season 11?  Holy Shitballs!  This “reality” show needs to self-edit, although all the ad money from the extra episodes DOES pay J-Lo millions so she can dress like this. Blue Light Special in Ladies’ Sportswear This … opening reminds me vaguely of my two-photos-in-one third grade picture (and [...]

Greetings Gasmii!  Apple Pie here, standing in for Potty Mouth this week.  I apologize for the tardy recap, and I apologize in advance for my bitterness and cynicism toward this show; I haven’t watched it on a regular basis since Emma was still Sheriff McHottiePants’s deputy. Welcome to another episode of ABC’s new iteration of [...]

Let me say upfront that this is a long-ass ep (AI is the best at dragging shit out, followed closely by The Biggest Loser), so the recap is going to look a lot like those boring books in the Bible that are mostly just a list of names.  Sorry.  Let’s get started. Welcome to The [...]

Hi, Gasmii!  I’m so excited that I get to recap the best part of AI … Hollywood Week!  We’ve been promised blood, tears, an angry mom rushing somewhere from backstage (presumably to kick Randy in the nads) and someone falling off the stage.  Bring the pain, Twink!  Actually, what I discover after watching this hour [...]

American Idol finally made it to that hidden gem of America, Pittsburgh.  We get a close up of someone who thought he was trying out for Biggest Loser instead of American Idol over the strains of “Black and Yellow”.  Let’s see your best and worst, Pittsburgh.  You know what it is … Get in my [...]

Salad, anyone?

Music for the Masses

ApplePie here, subbing for bluzgirl this week.  So excited!  Everyone got their dead baby head? hallucinogenics? popcorn?  I do!  Let’s do this! So we open with our typical flashback, but this time it’s only 2010, when we meet “Dee Gaaaayys” that Realty Marcy – and this show’s entire storyline – stereotype like nobody’s business.  AND [...]

BJ’s for everyone!