Author: Chooch

“TV Space…. the final frontier… these are the findings of the Gasm’s TV Patrol…. it’s ongoing mission….. to seek out new shows & new slutfests…. to boldly say what everyone else is afraid to…. Mekka lekka hi, mekka heiny ho!

Fitness & Beauty are the themes for tonight’s programming. Gives my self-esteem such a boost. I need to restock the frig before I plop my ass on the couch tonight. Here’s what I’m talking about……..

.

Saturday is staying true to form with it’s vast amount of wasted airtime. Let’s just get through the night. Sunday will be much better. I promise. Let’s JUMP…… Let’s be sure to tune in and treat Paula like the gift that she is, k?

The Second Season is upon us! January is a rollercoaster of new programming & we have a new show premiering tonight. Can you guess what it is? I’ll tell you after the JUMP……. Man this clip never gets old.

This is even bigger than the fall premiere. There are over 50 new & returning shows in January alone, with more in February & March. Here’s a list for ya……….

It’s NEW YEARS EVE!!!! WOOHOO!!! I’m bringing in the New Year the only way I can…..watching a pack of drunken fools play that f*ckin’ Wii. They may not make it till next year, if I have my way…….. Hi. I’m not Dick Clark.

Come on in and let’s check out what’s on the tube tonight! Poor guy needs some Head and Shoulders.

This may be an old pic, but at this time of year it always works for me.

I’m spoiled from the holidays. I’m putting together two days in one post. This way I can sit on my ass all day tomorrow & contemplate just how I’m going to lose this tonnage I’ve accummulated while eating everything I see. Seefood! I’d JUMP, but I can barely move………. Things are looking up.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS GASMII ! I hope everyone is safe & enjoying this day with friends & family. Please remember, “Don’t Drink & Drive”. If you fill yourself with Holiday Cheer, turn those keys over to someone responsible or take a cab. We need you around to read our recaps. I also want to take this [...]

Lots of HOLIDAY programming on tonight. If your a Scrooge, we have lots of shows about you….. Just in case you didn’t get enough the first thirty thousand times they were on your TV, please welcome Donnie and Marie for yet another chance!

Spank your children.

Ouch my house hurts, could you come over tiger? The “Amazing Race” may have ended, but if you’re looking for a “Phil Fix”. he’s on “Million Dollar Password” tonight on CBS at 8pm. Not only that, the “Chenbot” is also guest starring as well! It’s a ‘reality host’ dream come true!! Let’s JUMP to it………

The “Amazing Race” may have ended, but if you’re looking for a “Phil Fix”. he’s on “Million Dollar Password” tonight on CBS at 8pm. Not only that, the “Chenbot” is also guest starring as well! It’s a ‘reality host’ dream come true!! Let’s JUMP to it………

Not in the Holiday spirit yet. Our television is trying very hard tonight to get you “in the mood”…..Let’s all JUMP for Joy!…………

What are we watching on TV tonight? We are watching Whale Whisperers! Moby came back from the dead to tell you to shove it up your blowhole.

The season finale of “Secret Millionaire” is on FOX tonight. Isn’t that a new show? Why is it ending so soon? Let’s JUMP into it………. Shhhh don’t tell anyone I’m RICH!

Last week “The Mentalist” hit the #1 spot. We have another upset again this week! Can you guess what made the top spot this week? I have the answer, after the JUMP……….

Finalist Todd Homme of “Blush” on Lifetime, dies in his apartment on Saturday. More after the JUMP…….

Tuesday’s bring a whole new meaning to the phrase, “HO HO HO!” Check it out after the JUMP………. Bad Girls Club

“Heroes” at 9pm tonight on NBC, better make some sort of sense tonight. Oh, who am I kidding, has it ever made sense? All I know is they better get Hiro off that flag pole somehow. How do you suppose they’re gonna do that? If I was the writer, I would have ‘past’ HRG get [...]

The big show of the night is the Season Finale & Reunion Show of CBS’s “Survivor” starting at 8pm. Jeff Probst crowns the only Survivor of Gabon & awards the winner $1 million dollars. It’s also the second ‘season finale’ of “Dexter” on Showtime at 9pm. These are the only shows I care about tonight [...]

You can tell the holidays are in full swing. The advertising has really picked up. I havent’ been to any stores for their 50% off sales at 5am. Have you? I’m getting everything on-line this year. It’s the only way to shop. Then I don’t miss all the great shows on TV tonight. Let’s JUMP [...]

What can I say about the programming for tonight. It’s the best night of TV ever! Full of so much entertainment, I just can’t contain myself. You’ll just have to see for yourself, so JUMP…….. Where’s my f ing nomination!?!?!? After all I’ve done for you people! AAAARGH!

Do you know who this is? Do you know what he does? Did you know if he was a “he”? He’ll definitely make you “BLUSH”. Let’s JUMP……. I’m blushing.

Want to know if your favorite TV show or TV actor is on the list for a Golden Globe Award. I have the list after the JUMP…………….

It’s Wednesday & that means it’s ‘ratings’ day. Can you guess who’s #1? Bet ya can’t. It’s not those dirty skanks from “Desperate Housewives” though they did come in #4 & it’s not that whoredog Charlie Sheen, even though his repeat “Two & a Half Men” came in at #7. Give up? I was so [...]

Everything is NEW again! All the major networks are airing new episodes, so “that’s a good thing.” All is well in the TV world, for tonight that is. Let’s JUMP right into it……….. DENNY CRANE!

Do you like Robin Hood? Do you prefer the Erroll Flynn or Kevin Costner version….. or do you like Disney’s foxy rendition? Oh & Sean Connery played our thieving hero too Why do I ask? I’ll tell you after the JUMP……… I really hope they dramatize Saddam well.

This is not a good night for TV. There is one season finale. “Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling”. I know everyone is on the edge of their seats wondering who’s going to win that prized CCW belt. I’m rooting for Screech. Let’s JUMP to it, shall we………

The networks are remodeling their schedules. We are into a “NEW” season & aren’t even aware of it.I’ve made you a list of up & coming new shows and premieres of returning shows. JUMP to see the future…….. The things Joe Rogan will resort to to get back on TV!

We’ve got “Ghost Whisperer” & “Dog Whisperer” on tonight. I’m the “Gasm Whisperer”. I hear TV people. It’s a gift. I’ll tell you what they want you to watch after the JUMP…….. If only this were on tonight, we’d have a whisper trifecta.

Survivor’s favorite professor, Bob, has another Idol in his pocket. Is it real or is it Memorex? We’ll find out tonight. Let’s JUMP to it………

Those gorgeous models from Victoria’s Secret are struttin’ their stuff tonight at 10pm on CBS. Heidi Klum is joining them for the “Bra & Panty” Extravaganza! The classiest T&A show on prime time. I bet the guys hope they all jiggle & JUMP…… It’s rude to stare, Heidi.

Can you believe it, Jim’s back!! I thought I’d never see him again & here he is, back on ABC, entertaining us with his manly take on fatherhood & what a ‘real’ husband is all about. I’m so excited, I could just JUMP…….

I’m seriously disturbed by the fact that “my shows” are finishing up their seasons & I have nothing to replace them! Mad Men, True Blood, & DWTS, gone, all gone. Dexter, Amazing Race & The Girls Next Door are all finished in the next few weeks. What am I going to do? The networks are [...]

Hi Gasmii. I’m on a holiday, but there’s just a couple of “Check it Out” shows tonight on TBS. First is “Ellen’s Even, Bigger, Really Big Show” at 9pm. It was recorded on 11/20/08 at the Colosseum, at Ceasar’s Palace in Las Vegas. She’s showcasing her own little variety show. Let’s see if her idea [...]

Happy Thanksgiving to all the TVGasm fans out there. I’m thankful I got this schedule done before I go eat or you may not have had a guide to what’s on TV today, besides football, that is. I just have one thing I’m really thankful for. “Kath & Kim” is still on the air! Let’s [...]