Author: Danny

Okay, admission: I was watching this while also watching the DNC. So forgive me if I missed a few things here and there. I’m sorry I was being a PATRIOT. When Joe Biden speaks, you listen, goddamnit. If only in the hopes that he’ll accidentally reveal that Obama supports bigamy or something. Anyway, Julie opens [...]

Remember how exciting last week was? Well, this is Big Brother, so Expect the Unexpected, which is to say: Expect the Mundane. Oh god, tonight’s episode is so horribly predictable, as we continue on our slow, interminable march to Dan’s ultimate victory. These last few weeks of Big Brother are always the worst, and I [...]

Hi, guys! Let’s all be in a good mood, because Big Brother is VERY ENTERTAINING tonight, for the first time in what feels like years. Ever since the backstabbing of Janelle, the house has been more or less chaos, with no strong alliance sticking together, and I just love, love, love it. The veterans are [...]

Remember how last Thursday’s episode was chock-full of filler? Well, this one is worse! These houseguests have become so insufferable, we actually spend almost half this episode interviewing people who aren’t in the house. And it is such a relief, to be honest. Things start off on a sour note, as Julie says we’ve reached [...]

Hey guys! Last week’s backdoor eviction of Janelle was MIGHTY shocking, wasn’t it? It was so wonderful to see the new kids thinking for themselves and taking the veterans along for a ride the whole time. Now that one of the most popular Big Brother players of all time had been kicked out, what sort [...]

Last week on Big Brother: the producers changed everything and blamed it on “America,” and now everything is bullshit. We resume during the HoH competition, in which all 12 contestants (UGH, I can’t believe how many are still left in this game) are hanging from a fake pirate ship as water is poured on their [...]

Are you ready for the dullest episode of the season? THAT’S THE SPIRIT! Listen: we have a lot of reasons to be down on the United States these days (people shoving fried chicken in their mouths to show how much they hate gays, a bumbling buffoon traveling around the world to represent us, the continued [...]

Hey guys, it’s me, Danny! Let’s jump right into this bullshit! Julie Chen is here with us tonight! No matter how terribly slow the live shows are, you can always count on Julie’s eccentric wardrobe and robotic laughter to bring some joy into the hour. Sadly, Julie opted for a rather calm dress, only notable [...]