Author: FozzieBare

Previously on Big Brother, Renny dazzled America with her wigs, dangly earrings, and muumuus. I’m pullin’ for ya girl! Baby Jane grew up to be healthy and happy, contrary to nasty rumors.

Previously on Big Brother I was accused of gaying up my recaps too much. I have no plans on stopping.

Previously on Big Brother, Renny got a little private time in the HOH room so she could really let her hair down. Smooth sailin’ some days, sometimes just a kick in the rear. But she’s here!

Previously on Big Brother ,Michelle took control and went crazy with vengeance! “This if fah yew, Jessie!”

Tonight on Big Brother, the term “womanizer” officially becomes an offensive slur. Wait til I call him a commie. That’ll really get him goin’.

Previously on Big Brother, Jessie entered stage 2: Bargaining.

Evictions, evictions You’re so delicious I love you more Than all the competitions. It’s the Great PumpkinBot, Charlie Brown

I have to apologize up-front for the brevity of the recap, but I had a friend in from out of town this weekend and some very important things to do. Why so serious?

Previously on Desperate Housewives Edie got lost in an airbrushed house of mirrors possibly to never be seen again.

It seems that real life has taken over this week causing me to be very late with the Desperate Housewives recap. We’re going to give a quick rundown of what happened per person 2 episodes ago and then lead right into the full recap of this week. Hold onto your hats ‘Gasm fans, it’s going [...]

Previously on Desperate Housewives, the gay kid got one line, the gay couple completely disappeared, and not a lesbot in sight. Yet somehow Desperate Housewives is still the gayest show on television. God bless you Marc Cherry. “Girlfriend, you better get your hot tranny mess ass down here. Seriously, this fire is fierce.”

Previously on Big Brother, not enough people appreciated my favorite joke Team Chris T.

This week’s Desperate Housewives brings more intrigue, action, drama, sex, and the kind of bawdy antics we’ve come to expect. But most importantly we get to see some really deep cleaning.

Previously on Big Brother: Although we’ve COME, To the eeeennd ooofff the road, still I can’t let go……

I know there has been a lot of backlash against Desperate Housewives but for those naysayers, the show is back and it’s just as good as ever. Bree is still Martha Stewart on heroin, Lynette is still a badass, Gaby is still a skank and Susan is……well Susan tries.

Previously on Big Brother, Ryan helped Josh pack his shit.

Previously on Big Brother Chelsia left the house leaving James alone in a cold, large, lonely bed.

Previously on Beauty and the Geek the girls try to decide who they should sacrifice. …a virgin? Good luck.

Previously on Big Brother, the showmance known as Jamelsia started to dissolve when people realized that it was a really stupid name. Chelsames?

Beauty and the Geek is back and it’s more beautiful and geekier than ever with this season bringing us a surprising twist. Instead of pairing the beauties and geeks in teams they are now competing against each other after realizing that the romantic aspect of the show was a really stupid idea and would never [...]

Previously on Big Brother, Natalie finally got her backrub from Matt which consisted of him rubbing a wooden block on her back while he dry heaved. Aren’t they adorable?

Hey fans. Sorry about the late submission but I got assigned last and then my parents came in town so I’ve had my hands full. I haven’t had time for a full recap of the first episode but I will return next week for an official point by point recap. In the meantime let’s take [...]

Previously on Big Brother, opinions differed regarding Allison’s crotch.

Previously on Big Brother, Chelsia entered the Big Brother house 28 days ago.

The women of Lipstick Jungle are truly Outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous.

Shoes. Clothing sales. Fluffy pillows. Chocolate. George Clooney. The Notebook. Puppies. Michael Bolton. Ross and Rachael. Flower deliveries. Bubble baths. More stuff chicks dig after the jump.

Immediately after Jen and Parker’s eviction last week, all of the houseguests rush to the memory wall to find that the two evicted houseguest’s pictures were already grayed out. Matt comments that the producers don’t wait two seconds since Jen and Parker left less than two minutes ago. Two minutes is more than two seconds. [...]

Now that I have your attention: Things are just heating up in the Lipstick Jungle. This week brings more sex, more style, more drama, more shoes and most importantly more naked boys. It seems everywhere I look there are naked boys, naked boy, naked boys! “Don’t make any sudden movements. You might scare it away.”

Q: What does Julie Chen say when she walks in a room backwards? A: Butt first! I swear I hear the ocean.

I can’t believe it’s summer already! Beach trips, cookouts, and Big Brother! I’ve waited a year for this and I’m not going to miss a thing. Today I took a swim at Coney Island and then walked around shirtless for a while in Chelsea and then came right back here for a heaping helping of [...]

Well it’s finally here. The Sex and the City movie that we’ve all been waiting for since….what? This isn’t Sex and the City? Well what the hell is it? I know I write for TVgasm and should know this, it’s just very confusing. It’s fashionable friends in New York talking about work and relationships. That’s [...]

It’s all come down to this. For years and years, or to be more accurate, two months, we have followed the trials and tribulations of these mothers and daughters clawing their way to the middle. It’s been a crazy ride, and one I won’t soon forget. After all of the training, workshops, recitals and whip-cracking [...]

There’s only more episode left and I’m already starting to feel sad. I don’t know where I’m going to go to find dumb, bitchy, shallow, moronic women constantly undermining each other and acting bat-shit crazy. Well I guess there’s always The Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Wild Girl’s Club, Rock of Love, Flava of Love, The Simple [...]

This week American Idol drops in on Charleston, South Carolina, home of the Morris Island Lighthouse and some of the greatest golf courses in the country. Not to mention a mean pepper steak at any of the 17 local area Waffle Houses. Does Charleston bring it? Let’s find out after this here jump, ya’ll. You’re [...]

I know I should love Crowned. I love crazy chicks. I love sequins. I adore crazy chicks in sequins, hence my love of Dynasty from age 4. However, there’s something about this that hasn’t grabbed me yet. I don’t know if it’s the fact that crazy can only get you so far or the fact [...]

I know I’ve received some criticism for my use of the word “fat” to describe Angela. Now there are a whole slew of names I want to call her but can’t use the majority of them in more than 12 states. I sincerely feel this woman is the root of all reality show evil, so [...]

When last we left Wisteria Lane disaster had struck in the form of a twister. Victor had suffered a wooden stake through the heart, Carlos got a bump on the noggin from flying debris, and seemingly Lynette’s entire family was squashed by Miss McCluskey’s shoddily constructed house. Which of these was worse? Who’s to say? [...]

Previously on Crowned, we had to bid adieu to Pamela and Felicia, the resident truck stop cocktail waitress and her silent daughter Felicia, AKA Chaka from Land of the Lost. One team must also go home this week and we can only pray that it’s Angela and Tinea. Do either of these skanks show an [...]

Last week on Crowned, the same thing happened that always happens on reality shows when you get a bunch of people living in a house together: the house split into two warring factions, and all the ladies’ cycles synced up. The realists (the artists formerly known as Silent But Deadly) were desashed in a painful [...]