Author: HayHor

Hey Gasmii, Last week on New York Goes to Hollywood, New York had her heart broken once again, but instead of Flavor Flav, it was a crew of managers who crushed her soul. After seeing a performance and hitting up the food station/bar, they didn’t have the patience to wait for New York and took [...]

Hey Gasmii, I hope you’re all having a great summer. You know, it’s often during these hot months when people decide to drop all logic or sense of humility and move out to LA to start an “acting career”. Some get into porn, some end up becoming trophy wives, some grow pot or sell coke, [...]

Hey Gasmii! I know, I know. You’re disappointed in my complete lack of timeliness. But you know, I was watching the surprising turn of events the night of the so-called “finale”, and as the credits rolled, they previewed some clips from this week’s perfectly named epilogue, A SHOT AT LOVE II: WITH TILA TEQUILA – [...]

Hey Gasmii, I’ve got to start off this week with a question – anyone else out there upset that Brittany got dissed by Tila? I mean, if there was anyone in this house who seemed like a somewhat normal person, it was Brittany. That being said, we all know this show is about Tila’s vanity [...]

Well gasmii, we’ve gotten down to our last three contestants on A SHOT AT LOVE II WITH TILA TEQUILA – Bo, Kristy, and Brittany. Now that it’s so close to the end, Tila’s really going to need to do some deep thinking. After all, she’s had her heart broken once and if she chooses the [...]

Hi Gasmii! I assume you are all educated, current events focused readers, correct? You’ve heard then that on Monday, California became the second state to allow gay marriage which must mean that either the rapture is coming or we’re going to end up a better, more tolerant society. Either way, we have one person to [...]

Hi Gasmii! Hope you guys are all doing well because I’m shvitzing like a woman in a burka out here in NYC. Seriously, I need to go to costco and get some gold bond for this case of swamp crotch. Speaking of swamp crotches, this week on A SHOT AT LOVE II: WITH TILA TEQUILA, [...]

Hi Gasmii! I wanted to start this week’s A SHOT AT LOVE II recap with some musings on our favorite bobbleheaded bisexual. Recently, Tila’s been getting some seirous exposure. Entertainment Weekly did a spread on her a couple of weeks ago and in the newest issue, they make mention of her once again in a [...]

Last week on A SHOT AT LOVE II WITH TILA TEQUILA, we saw some serious stuff go down. After seeing everyone’s favorite dying-for-acceptance case/George leave, Jay’s love for his master, the almighty floor installer from Detroit, Chad, was proven mutual as Chad fought to defend his lap dog. It all began with Jay interrupting a [...]

Well gasmii, the shit really starts to hit the fan this week on A SHOT AT LOVE II WITH TILA TEQUILA!. And it all comes thanks to the Chad, the guy everyone loves to hate. When we first met chad in episode 1 he made that ridiculous wangbone comment, and I thought the guy might [...]

Hey gasmii, sorry I missed you all last week! I’ve got a good excuse though, really. You see, I was having a huge get-together, and things got a little out of hand. It was basically a Duke lacrosse party, only with lesser odds at getting laid. So, of course the po-po showed up and told [...]

Tila Tequila is back folks, and things didn’t work so well between her and Bobby. He broke her adorable, bisexual little heart and tore it into a million pieces. So, to ensure that she’ll find someone who can tolerate her myspace fandom, the producers thought it’d be a good idea to scrape the bottom of [...]

It’s the final week on THAT’S AMORE, and we have quite a prizefight. In one corner, there’s Kim, “The Insecure Egomaniac” Martin and in the other, Megan “Ms. Opportunity” Mirilovich (thanks Wikipedia for giving us their last names. Now we can go online and check if any of the contestants are sexual predators). Kim’s beatdowns [...]

Any of you out there ever been to Italy? Because I haven’t, and it makes me wonder, are there rednecks in Italy? I mean let’s be honest, there ARE rednecks globally. I know this because my family is not from the continental United States and yet, there are some members that love Wal-Mart, wear shirts [...]

Hey there THAT’S AMORE! lovers. Can you believe it’s only week 4 and we’re already down to 5 girls?! We’ve got two brunettes and three blondes left, so Domenico has done a nice job giving himself some variety. In fact, tensions were so high between the blondes and brunettes that at one point, a challenge [...]

Hi there Gasmii. You know, with the recent festivities around St. Patrick, the patron saint of beer, I was thinking, what saints we would find this week on THAT’S AMORE!? Luckily, we have a house chock full of them, starting with,Kathleen, the patron saint of fake virgins, Rebecca, the patron saint of obnoxious hoes, and [...]

Last week on THAT’S AMORE, Domenico learned that blondes and brunettes don’t like each other and that Kathleen has “not had sexytime.” He for some reason didn’t learn that Kim is a succubus hosebeast, but I guess it’s hard to see past those plastic shot glass holders. Nonetheless, it’s a new week, so maybe Dom [...]

Hi there Gasmii. I’m HayHor and I’m here to welcome you to a bizzare study in walking talking stereotypes, what raging whores will do when cameras are rolling, and what happens when cokeheads run MTV’s programming department. Other subjects will include Biology (the phermones of a stinky ho), Sociology (the conflicts between passive girls and [...]

Hi Gasmii, I’m HayHor and I’m guest recapping for THE GAUNTLET III this week. I’m really happy to be writing our newest episode, because it’s a doozy. We’ll see Beth and Coral reenact Godzilla vs. Mothra! Katie turns into a psychopath once again! The veteran boys show us other reasons besides chronic gonnorhea that girls [...]

Well friends, this is it, time to say goodbye to our favorite delusional little bastards. It’s been a sometimes entertaining, always hokey, never respectable ride, and tonight, we go off into the sunset in a way only this disaster called DANCE WAR can. On our two hour extravaganza, we watch a ton of stock footage [...]

What’s up readers? I’m going to start this recap with a disclaimer – I don’t mean to offend anyone. Nonetheless, I have to say that Latino culture, when not presented properly, can seem kind of obnoxious. For example – Reggaeton, J. Lo, Walter Mercado, and Sabado Gigante (look the last two up if you don’t [...]

Hello again, fellow DANCE WARS friends. In addition to our dance (read: comedy) hour, we’ll have Taylor Swift on to sing as a special guest, while Kelsey laughs at how much hotter and boring she is than the pop-country newcomer. Oh, and top of that, ABC has decided to use the show not only as [...]

With the United States in the thick of the primary season, some people out there are forgetting that there’s a war going on. And as during any war, the powers that be occasionally have to step in, put Democracy on hold for a little while, and declare martial law. Well America, on tonight’s episode of [...]

Our contestants start off the show with “Spice Up Your Life” from the Spice Girls. This, my reader friends, is ironic because, like the Spice Girls, they’re all wearing a a loud pink/purplish plaid, which makes some people look good (Our token nice Christian girl Chastity in the black tube top and short school girl [...]

As much as I like a good ‘ol singing and dancing war (who doesn’t?), I think the best strategy for round two is to hop downstairs to the local grocer, pick up a Heineken mini-keg, and drink a beer every time somebody on the show does something to embarrass themselves. You might need to buy [...]

Within the first 20 seconds of this show, Bruno Tonioli pulls us in with his “come hither, cabana boy” stare and seductive lulling in of the hands. You see, Bruno wants you to pay attention as he traipses over young people’s dreams on the way to creating a dancing/singing Benneton ad. Because that, my friends, [...]

***Note From the Editor: Please welcome your new Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann recapper, HayHor! Sitting at home and watching Holiday in Handcuffs might make you feel like an idiot, and deservedly so. I mean, look at this photo. “Hooray photoshop!” Melissa Joan Hart (1976 – current) Nonetheless, there are three and a half [...]