Author: Hoolia

Ah, Gasmii, don’t you just love technology? Especially the kind of technology that makes your computer crap out on you during the best, most interesting, most exciting (read: boozy) episode of ANTM this season? My apologies, kiddos. I’m gonna keep this week’s ep to a wee-cap because really, do you need me to hammer home [...]

This week on ANTM, we get to hear a lot of words like “stiff” and “rigid” but unfortunately, they aren’t being used to describe a Mr. Nigel Barker… “I forget, this week, am I into guys, girls, or “stiff and rigid” battery-powered devices?”

This week, ANTM flits over to Europe. Which obviously means lots and lots of nudity. Unfortunately, Nigel stays dressed while Mizz Jay’s the one to disrobe. Twice. P-Dubs: “Ahhhh, so Isis DID teach you a thing or two!”

It’s been awhile, Gasmii, but I’m back and ready for action. A ginormous grazie to LoLo for helping me out two weeks ago while I was rearranging my life – how awesome was her recap? Love and kisses, LoLo, I owe ya. Last week’s mid-season recap show was lame as usual, offering no insight into [...]

So at this point, I’m pretty sure a higher being is keeping me from getting these recaps done on time. And no, it’s not my local bartender. No, the greater force this week was my own idiot self when I locked myself out of my apartment for an entire afternoon with nothing on me except [...]

This week’s ANTM/Hoolia co-sponsored lesson: You know you’ve been feeling guilty about your recaps when Top Model infiltrates your dreams. Yes Gasmii, I’m sad to admit that last night, I had my first (and let’s pray to Tyra, my last) ANTM-related dream. I’ll spare you the lame details because face it – everyone thinks their [...]

On this week’s ANTM, we get all the usual makeover goodness (and hideousness), plus a bonus performance! Nigel’s reluctant understudy

In this week’s episode of ANTM, there’s a lot of bickering and bitching, a lot of people sticking their noses where they don’t belong, and a lot of accusations fly about everything from racism to fake tatas. It’s all in a day’s work! “I do not get paid nearly enough.”

Okay, Gasmii, do you think you can handle another gloriously cheesy season of Top Model? I heard numbers for the excruciatingly long premiere were way down this season but hopefully none of you jumped (space)ship. Cycle 11 is headed back to LA and during the course of this two-hour premiere, viewers were treated to special [...]

And then there were three! It’s time to figure out who’s gonna win America’s Next Top Model! Will it be Somalian refugee Fatima who’s lived quite the hard knock life? Or will it be Angles! Angles! Angles! Anya ? Or Miss I’m-here-and-I’m-me-and-I’m-not-gonna-change-for-you Whitney? We’re about to find out… Finaaaaaaaleeeeee!

This week’s penultimate episode of Cycle 10 found me a bit under the weather. You see, life in Rome isn’t always cactus hats and romantic rendezvous with smolderingly sexy signorini in shadowed streets. (But sometimes it is.) No, there are times when Rome is a blanket of pollen that covers you every time you step [...]

Well Gasmii, any episode would be lackluster compared to last week’s Italian Cover Girl Commercial Disaster, but I thought this week’s episode was especially snoozerific. I wasn’t thrilled, but clearly, I was having a better go at it than Mr. Jay was… “You girls are making my botox bill go through the roof!”

Ciao a tutti, e benvenuti a Roma!!! Have you kids been noticing that the episodes seem to be alternating between a fairly lame week and then an explosively awesome one? I love love LOVED this episode and I don’t think it’s just because I’m typing this to you live from bella Roma. I can’t wait [...]

Ciao, Gasmii. I’m sure my two loyal readers (hi Mom and Dad!) were concerned that I had dropped off the face of the earth after no recaps from me for the past two weeks. But fear not! I’m still alive and kicking. I thought about recapping the recap episode but once Dominique started professing her [...]

Oh my goodness, I have so many opinions this week and am so thankful that I have a forum like TVgasm to express them. I tried to get this up yesterday but I just had too damn much to say. This week’s ep was fairly eventful and I’m sure most of you have strong feelings [...]

This week on ANTM we learn the true meaning of pain. Some days, your palms just ache from playing pattycake and other days, you just ache for your favorites to take the high road. Viewer discretion is advised due to albino nudity and possible dirty thoughts courtesy of hunky dreamboat Nigel Barker. Male viewer discretion [...]

This week on ANTM, drag queens hoot and holler, one of the girls gets a much needed lesson in personal hygeine, someone else gets called a racist, Dominique continues to refer to herself solely in the third person, Whitney does the splits, Tyra pulls a Winona, there’s more lame kitchen drama, and Marvita admits that [...]

Ah, what if.

It’s that time of the cycle again… no, I’m not talking about feeling bloated and craving chocolate, I’m talking about makeover time! Just as I had hoped, the good were really good but the bad were better. Also, there’s gratuitous talk of asses and booties so if you’re looking for how to turn tonight’s episode [...]

This week on a very special ANTM, we get some insights on personal convictions and beliefs. It’s so great when we see one of the girls stand up for what they believe in. Strong stuff, no? Well, not so much when we’re talking about resident airhead Kimberly and her personal crusade against expensive high fashion. [...]

***Note from the Editor: Please welcome the newest member to the TVgasm family (and one of your pics from this Fall’s Auditiongasm), HOOLIA!! HOLLA, HOOL! Well Gasmii, the task has fallen on me to recap Cycle 10 of America’s Next Top Model and I couldn’t be more excited. Many of you probably think the show [...]