Author: J-Mo

FahBeeOh f’s up an American classic any teenager can easily create.

A mini cap of last night’s Top Chef

The Chefs play at food-styling and irritate the hell out of Lorraine Bracco!

Mini cap of last night’s Top Chef

The chefs get to play with some mighty big poles.

Dim sum battles

Some compete in a tennis-themed challenge. Others just duck balls all night.

A mini cap of Top Chef

NYC is the place to be unless you’re me and you can only see it on TV

Kids + Sugar × Liquid Nitrogen ÷ Pressure = MELTDOWN!

Finally! Some chefs that can actually COOK! Or can they?

Luke-warm lame-ass leftovers.

Seriously?

The first half of the Finale

The tale of the grey tuna.

The best security in the world can’t save our own C.I.A. agents from this

Restaurant Wars brings out a middle-school mentality in these dumbasses.

“Ethiopian Food” is not an oxymoron after all!

Toddlers take over Congress.

How many ways can YOU cook up animal genitalia?

The chefs get to murder a bunch of crabs and then cook outdoors!

Tonight the winners lose, and the losers win!

Everybody STILL sucks at making desserts.

The chefs get to be Siamese Twins… and cook school lunch!

Top Chef DC begins

Can Chinese-Canadian cuisine beat out Swedish-Ethiopian, or will Atlantis-American take it all?

Let’s take a fun trip with two or three of our best girlfriends and include a sociopath!

Italians are really ultra-sensitive these days.

Cartoon food takes the night.

Wedding cake time!

We have another douchebag Master on our hands!

Good evening and welcome back everybody. It’s 2:15 in the morning and I’m a little hammered, but I have good reason to be. I’ve just come from an interminably long drag show in which I was asked to videotape one of the worst queens in the entire city of Phoenix (and possibly the State of [...]

Hey everybody, guess what? This is my hundredth recap for TVGasm! I know, right? It’s hard to believe I’ve dedicated almost two years of my life to writing mini-novellas about hairstylists and designers and models and chefs and bisexual famewhores. Time flies when you’re being a big fat bitchkitty, I guess. Seriously, though, this is [...]

Hey ‘Gasmii hair-hoppers! How are you all doing tonight? Still in shock over the Finale? Glad we never have to hear Camila Alves speak again? Curious (like WaffleBoy) what Matt and Janine spent their dollar on? Well, I know we had basically put this season of Shear Genius to bed, but there was no way [...]

Hey y’all foodie fans! Remember how the last time we were all watching Top Chef it was Christmastime, and we were all super-depressed because our sweet and cuddly Kevin “DirtyBear” Gillespie didn’t win and that blade-nosed cocky assfuck Michael “Li’l Volt” Voltaggio did, and we all ate ourselves into a coma on pork ribs and [...]

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Hair-Worldâ„¢ this one last time. A couple of weeks ago I found a pair of testicles hanging in my closet, put them on, and sent an email to Brig Van Osten to alert her to TVGasm.com, to explain my role here as Shear Genius Shit Talker, and the fact [...]

Hey everybody, welcome back. You know, as a professional of any kind, whether it’s hairstyling, singing or drag-queen-backup-dancing, things don’t always go exactly the way you’ve planned. Sometimes you just have to roll with the unexpected changes that come your way and do the best you can to suppress the urge to throttle the people [...]

Good evening everyone (and by “everyone”, I mean the six of you left watching this show) and welcome. It’s a special evening here at Casa J-Mo, for I was the lucky recipient of both a raise and a hand-job today (not from the same person, though) and I’ve been celebrating so I am stuffed full [...]

What’s up, people? You know how Cameltoe always ends each episode this season with her silly little tagline, “Hair is impotent“? Well, we all know she’s really trying to say “important” but the letter R just isn’t her friend. Anyhow, on tonight’s episode of Shear Genius we’re going to be reminded once again that the [...]