Author: Krank Mills

Ding dong the Looch is gone! As I’m sure you can imagine, I’m thrilled. Everyone left is pretty good, huh? This should be an awesome show! Everyone has to do two dances ’cause things are getting INTENSE! While it’s basically Brooke’s trophy to lose, I think one bad week could knock her off at this [...]

Last week, Cloris was finally eliminated. Now that we’re getting towards the end, this should be mostly good dancing, right? Well, with Cloris gone, the general dancing IQ of the “stars” has gone up like 70 points. I’m looking forward to tonight’s show.

Last week Toni Braxton was eliminated. Tom Bergeron claims that it’s a reminder that one bad dance can mean the end, but I think it serves as a reminder that America is stupid and despite what I read on HowIsObamaDoing.com, I will remain anxious until next Wednesday. I mean, I understand Cloris Leachman’s entertainment appeal, [...]

I love that on this show, the previouslies are made to look like Olde Tymie footage. Did you know last week was actually 1932? Anways, last week in 1932, Rocco was eliminated while Cloris somehow managed to hang on for another week.

Oh it feels good to be back at the ‘gasm. Thank you to Flipit for thinking of me and bringing me back on board and sharing the DWTS duties with me, because as he said to me, “OMG three two hour nights in a row!?!?!?!?!” Yeah. Yeeeeaaaaaah. The episode starts with the usual fanfare, live [...]

After a season that brought us the Hot Tamale Train, more than we ever wanted to know about Wade Robson, and the discovery of just how awesome disco can be, we’re finally at the finale. You remember those great moments, but do you remember the initial auditions? It’s better if you don’t because most of [...]

I can’t believe the season is over already! It’s been one crazy ride on the hot tamale train, but as we near the station at Crazytown, I find myself wishing for more time. More time! Well with a total of four hours of SYTYCD, I certainly got my wish this week. First, tonight’s final performance [...]

As the title states, tonight we get the return of the man-skirt, thanks to Pasha’s Paso Doble. Take note NEIL, this is how you get ladies’ votes. Not by dancing some pussy solo to Maroon 5. Anyways, the results show has a Matrix themed group number, solos from everyone, tears and fears. Welcome to SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

This week the pairs all perform two routines together, and no solos. My outrage over Anya’s ousting continues as it is so clearly NOT a solo competition. My highlights include a bitchin’ 90′s hip-hop routine and a Tyce DiOrio Broadway routine that doesn’t suck. Funny that. I wouldn’t call it a low, but we also [...]

Well it’s another results show, only now the judges don’t make the decision, AMERICA does, so we’re left with even more time to fill uselessly than usual. Ah good times. There’s a controversy over coats and peace signs, because apparently some people out there really like war. What assholes, but hey, it’s FOX. Welcome to [...]

Before the recap: Has anyone seen that show on TNT called Heartland? It is awful. I think it’s actually about Treat Williams being a heart surgeon, but I just caught an episode that was all about organ donation and HOW VERY IMPORTANT IT IS. Like, yes, a very noble deed, but if every episode of [...]

Cute shoes! Tonight is the big night. Well, until the actual finale, but the judges really want us to believe that tonight’s eliminations – which will leave us with our Top 10 – are a big deal. I mean, it kind of is, as the Top 10 go on tour, but really it just serves [...]

In the last performance show before the Top 10, we get a nice combination of great performances and honest criticism from the judges. There are some surprises including an 80′s-eriffic Jazzericize routine. Hence, the photo above. So crimp your hair and put on your favorite ribbed lycra leotard, it’s time for SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

So, before we get into SYTYCD…. Don’t Forget the Lyrics: What’s up with that? I just caught the last minute and a half, but the things I did see looked absurd and expensive. Like, couldn’t that money have been spent on an African baby or something? How ’bout Don’t Forget Your Lyrics, Darfur? At least [...]

This week there’s another very special guest jidge in the form of the ADD-addled director of the movie Hairspray, and So You Think You Can Dance proves once again it is a whore for any dance movie. Well maybe that wording is a little strong. I mean, Nigel is just trying to bring DANCE to [...]

So after watching all this dancing for the past few weeks, I tried to take a dance-based workout at my gym this week. It basically served to remind me that no, I cannot dance. Surprise! I mean I knew I couldn’t dance, but this class served to remind me just how hard learning choreography is. [...]

Too soon, title? Debbie Allen in da’ house! Except, despite the massive amount of respect she has with the dance community, Debbie? Sucks as a judge. You go in expecting Mia Michaels crossed with Oprah, and end up with Mrs. Huxtable after one of Mr. Huxtable’s patented foot rubs. Meaning? She loves everyone and everything [...]

People, we were thisclose to getting Baby Oil kicked off tonight! I mean, of course there was no way Nigel was letting his eye candy go, but a girl can dream, can’t she? In other news, there’s another shocking male elimination and a… let’s call it “quirky” opening number. Welcome to SoYouThinkYouCanDance! This move is [...]

Last week we got rid of Ashley and Ricky. And by “we” I mean the judges, since they actually made that decision, and don’t let them convince you otherwise in this episode. Now that the gravity of “dancing for your life” has struck the dancers, everyone’s giving their all this week. It’s a solid performance [...]

Last night the Top 20 danced for our votes and tonight the results are in. Sucks to go through that entire audition process and have to go home the first night, but one boy and one girl gotta go. A solitary tear is dripping down my cheek right now. THIS is SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

Aaaah Top 20! Now SYTYCD really begins. I’ve missed this so much. No more playing around, this is the big show. Tonight, with 10 pairs, we get a wide variety of dance styles. Some step right up to the challenge, show us they actually can dance, thank you very much, while some struggle with mastering [...]

It’s Vegas, part 2. Previously, the dancers cried. Tonight they will cry some more as we go from a pool of fifty dancers to our Top 20. Some people we know go through, but most of our Top 20 are strangers to the TV viewing audience. But the show really begins next week, so I [...]

It’s Vegas week (Apparently the “Las” has become completely superfluous to THE WORLD), which means that the editors finally shift focus from all those dancers that made good TV, to the actually great dancers that will make it to the Top 20, thus allowing us to build some knowledge of these characters. Or not. While [...]

Huzzah, it’s the last day of episode of open auditions. We travel to the South, where we meet five or six dance cultures I didn’t even know we had. Among them: “skreet,” clogging and line-dancing. I mean, I knew about line-dancing at one point in my life, but I’d kind of forgot it existed until [...]

Ugh, Nigel is kind of an ass right at the beginning of tonight’s episode, so that spoiled me on him for the rest of the episode. Even so, still a solid audition-round episode. There wasn’t one stand-out performer like Jamal, but we saw some great dancing and a whole lot of delusional dancing. It’s like [...]

I don’t think there are enough words to express how much I love this show. And tonight definitely had moments that showed why. Normally I don’t even like the early auditions because it’s just an excuse to humiliate those poor noobs with no sense of themselves, but GOD I’ve missed this show, and even a [...]

Who boy! We have a winner! I apologize to all of you who found my recap last week too biased for your tastes. What can I say? I’ve been following these ladies so freaking closely for the first time and my emotions and favoritism got the best of me, especially when they gained up on [...]

This week ANTM goes back to being offensive toward Australian culture. Natasha’s trek through the woods in wedge heels for the challenge causes her to come down with a cold. Subsequently, she misses a night out with the girls, who take this opportunity to bash her and solidify their clique. She goes on to struggle [...]

This week’s episode was all about versatility. The girls go on go-sees where some impress and others have a SPEC-TAC-UUU-LARRR meltdown. I mean, Brittany, was totally my pick for winner, but that tantrum… Wow. Just wow… Thankfully, there’s no Australian theme this week, and we get a double photo-shoot to make up for last week’s [...]

Did you know Australia is a fashion capital of the world? I kind of had an inkling cause I met a couple Australian girls in a hostel in Florence last year who wore heels while sightseeing. And Florence doesn’t really have public transportation, so sightseeing basically involves walking from one end of the city to [...]

Oh the acting episode. So much fodder for mocking. Where to begin? The girls are visited by two D-list “actors” who give the girls pointers on inhabiting a character. I really don’t know why Tyra still insists on doing an acting episode (I mean, besides the inherent comic potential, but I don’t think that’s what [...]

I mean, the title of this recap says it all. This was a glorious, if ridiculous episode. I know people have been griping about the quality of the photo shoots, but honestly, who watches this show for the modeling really? Come on, it’s about skinny bitches making drama and tonight was a spectacularrrr example of [...]

Sorry for the delay in this recap, everyone. My DVR chose not to record ANTM last week for NO REASON, which was just wonderful. But I caught the rerun this Sunday evening and here we are! It turns out this episode was well worth the wait as the focus was centered on my favorite Russian [...]

Um, spoiler alert for the above picture. So I gotta take back everything I said last week about not caring who won or lost, because I was really anxious (at points) during Sunday’s finale. Of course, it was an hour long for no reason other than to fit in more video montages which I could [...]

Finally! A Renee-centric episode! JUST WHAT I WANTED, Tyra, how did you know? Mother Renee is either the most self-aware evil person I’ve ever seen, or the most evil evil person I’ve ever seen, and in an attempt to bridge the rapidly-forming gaps between her and the rest of the girls, she vows too change [...]

Tonight’s episode perfectly embodied what this whole Grease experience has been about. The final four Dannys and Sandys performed for AMERICA’s votes. They each sang half a song from Grease and half of two pop songs. We saw dancing in a group number and didn’t see any acting. We measured chemistry by looking at the [...]

First of all, congrats to Tyra and Tyra for snagging more Emmy nominations than Oprah and Oprah. I know, right? KISS TYRA’s FAT ASS, OPRAH! And second of all, can someone please explain to me the difference between sewing a wig on your head and getting a weave? Because I couldn’t tell on this week’s [...]

So last week I was home sick from work a couple days and on one of those days I caught a showing of the movie Grease on VH1. Gotta tell you, it got me really excited to see Grease on stage as choreographed by Kathleen Marshall. I would’ve bought my tickets by now, but they’re [...]

Previously on ANTM: Mother Renee rubbed pretty much the whole world the wrong way. Jaslene was one of only a few who rocked the photo shoot, while loveable egghead Kathleen couldn’t not like fur. I can see her point. I mean, it makes you look hot. There were also 11 other crazy hos, all competing [...]