Author: Leia LaBiblia

Hi Gasmii— Is this thing on??? Seriously, is ANYONE besides my mother reading this blog? Look how awesome last week was: But seriously. We should have a contest to make up an episode synopsis based on the strip of pix above. Maybe we could do it each week and there could even be prizes. What [...]

Hola Gasmii– Only one more episode until the Season Finale. I know you have tragic tykes in runaway balloons to worry about, so let’s skip the chit-chat this week and plunge right in.

Hey Gasmii– We’re already on the 11th episode of this delicious trainwreck and who knows when it will end. Maybe tonight. But even if this is the finale, which I doubt, there have to be one or two Reunion shows immediately after brimming with shameful concentrated cattiness. And I still have to caption my Melrose [...]

Hello Gasmii– I have to say this episode is a marked improvement over the past couple of weeks. There’s still the same basic problems: depending too much on flashbacks that are more interesting than what’s going on in the present (i.e. a big waste of Laura Leighton), and with the exception of Cru-Ella, Whoren and [...]

Hey Hey Gasmii! The hot topic of the season has turned out to be how much of a twat NeNe has become, and if she has any right to be miffed that gold-diggity Wigger Kim yanked back her offer to let NeNe record with her on “Tardy For the Party”, the tasty pop confection Kandi [...]

Hello Gasmii– I have to say this episode is a marked improvement over the past couple of weeks. There’s still the same basic problems: depending too much on flashbacks that are more interesting than what’s going on in the present (i.e. a big waste of Laura Leighton), and with the exception of Cru-Ella, Whoren and [...]

Hola Gasmii! Tonight’s episode is so crammed with bad behavior let’s not waste any time and dive right in! And here’s a fun drinking game you may wanna try. Every time you hear the words “Independence Party” or “all about me”, do a shot. But be sure to select a designated TiVo operator because you [...]

Hola Gasmii– Who’s in the mood for steamy love triangles, shocking twists and dazzlingly interwoven night-time soap suds? Unfortunately, True Blood is on hiatus. So let’s forget about all that and just watch this. Oh, by the way, I figured out how they’re coming up with the seemingly random titles for these episodes. They’re L.A. [...]

Hi Gasmii– It’s another action-crammed episode of RHOA, with special emphasis on how selfish Kim is, how talented Kandi is, and how insecure NeNe is. There’s blood, sweat and tears. There’s a pop song hook that gets stuck in your brain and keeps repeating itself when you’re trying to write your Melrose Place blog for [...]

Oh Gasmii– The new Melrose debuted to 2.3 million viewers and dropped down to 1.8 million with Episode #2. Too bad it’s not on 10 PM— it could suck up some of the Jay Leno viewers that will soon be fleeing that ghastly suckfest in droves. But sadly, since it isn’t, if this trend continues, [...]

Hi Gasmii– Before we plunge in, let me me offer besos mojados to all my loyal, grateful, clever readers, especially those who take the time to make comments. And especially ReeseWitherspoon & Renata, who are official Angels of Snark. I heart you both!!!! I wanted to answer all the comments individually last week, but I [...]

Hola Gasmii– I’m your recap artist, Leia LaBiblia. First off, I’m sorry about the lack of jokes on the screen-caps. I just wanted to introduce all the characters this time. Secondly, allow me to confess to never having seen one episode of the first Melrose Place. So I come to this juicy-looking new CW project [...]

Happy Labor Day Gasmii– Your recap artist feels like a Real Housewife herself this week! No, I’m not pimping a tell-all autobiographical cookbook/weight loss/etiquette guide. Or paying cash for a tract mansion that looks like a Neapolitan bordello. Or even mopping the floor with a party-planner with anger-management/sexual orientation issues. I’m just in the Hamptons [...]

Dearest Gasmii– It’s too damn hot out to waste time with an opening monologue from your recap artist. Besides, let’s face it, there’s very little going on this season. I would prefer they’d have made the entire thing about Sheree terrorizing everyone en route to her long-unawaited fashion show. Although I do love Kim slowly [...]

Dear Gasmii– This week Bravo gave us a “supersized” 75m installment of RHOA, along with a rerun of the 30m “Lost Footage” “special” where everyone attacked Kim and NeNe shrieked the all-time classics “CLOSE your legs to married men!” and “Hooker!” This on top of the Top Chef Las Vegas premiere, three electrifyingly bonkers episodes [...]

Hi Gasmii– If everyone will promise not to lose their shit, I’ll skip the disclaimer advising the easily offended amongst you that the following may contain extreme sassiness, graphic recapture of stereotypical behavior, and utter disregard as to whether you’re offended. As long as you’re not bored, I’ve done my job, right? Vamos!

Dearest Gasmii!!! The new season of the Bravo reality soap that puts the “ho” in “down-home” has barely begun and already we’ve had laughter, tears, extreme opinionated women of color, and some shocking accusations of racism. And that’s just in the Comments section of this very blog! Yes, mijos, a certain Gasmi who calls herself [...]

Hola queridos Gasmii!!! Me llamo Leia LaBiblia. I joined TVGasm in April to recap the so-not-terrifying CBS mystery/slasher maxi miniseries Harper’s Island and loved it so much (the job, not the show) I begged Flipit to toss me another one. Little did I dream that it would be the delicious Queen Bitch of Reality TV, [...]

Hola Chicos y Chicas– This may be the last time we meet on Harper’s Island as Gasmii and recap artist, but the good folks at CBS have done their damnedest to delay our hasta la vista as long as possible. Last Saturday, July 4, they told us loyal viewers to suck a roman candle and [...]

Hello Gasmii– Tonight’s episode is cram-packed with the two things we’ve come to expect from Harper’s Island– vicious murders and even more diabolical plotholes. It’s like they realized how stretched-thin the last two shows were and are making up for that by stepping up the output on both bodies and nonsensical behavior. Plus there’s personal [...]

To Gasmii It May Concern– The role of Token Minority will henceforth be known as Braids. Alright, let’s cut to the chase. High Tension (2003) is one the scariest, grab-you-by-the-throat thrillers of the decade. Director Alexandre Aja plays the audience like a baby grand, pulling us into the deceptively simple story of two co-eds on [...]

Hi Gasmii– We’re in the Final Five and it looks like they whipped up just enough plot for three. That means cutting the story stash with lots of baby laxative, i.e. mucho scrambling around searching for missing muchachas. And like last week’s installment, this one climaxes with a big stunning super-shock that will almost certainly [...]

Q: Who, in the opening paragraph of her April 26, 2009, TVgasm blog, mockingly pitched the title “Gurgle” for a future episode of Harper’s Island??? A: Your recap artist Leia LaBiblia, por supuesto. Yes, you could say I foretold this entire episode. In fact, you, Gasmii, send me dozens of e-mails a week saying with [...]

Dear Gasmii, Due to a techno-glitch, the recap for the May 23 episode of Harper’s Island was inadvertently deleted from TVgasm last night. So as a public service, I present this basic mini-recap with all the gory pictures. If you have questions, send them to me and I will do my best.

Gasmii Gasmii Gasmii! We’re halfway through the season and the rumors and theories are buzzing across the internet. Unfortunately for Harper’s Island, most of them have to do with whether Danny Gokey will make an honest woman of his boo Jamar when the Idol tour hits Iowa. I kid because I love… to hate those [...]

Dear Gasmii, Due to a techno-glitch, the recap for the May 23 episode of Harper’s Island was inadvertently deleted from TVgasm last night. So as a public service, I present this basic mini-recap with all the gory pictures. If you have questions, send them to me and I will do my best.

Hi Gasmii, Finally, our Harper’s Island friends are starting to realize something just ain’t right ’round here. Some unlikely pairings, some more ill-advised secret-keeping, even more animal carnage, and a truly depraved new super-couple, one of whom is eleven! That’s what you’re getting in the 5th episode of this klunky, antiseptic thrill-ride that makes one [...]

Gasmii Gasmii Gasmii– Harper’s Island may have been banished from CBS‘s Thursday schedule for cancellation-adjacent Saturday night, but it’s still #1 in the demo’s of Our Hearts. Yeah, right. I, Leia LaBiblia, your recap artist, am starting to feel like one of the two-dimensional human targets on this show. With ratings like this thing’s been [...]

Sure he could just turn on the other lights, but it’s much SKURRIER this way! Dearest Gasmii– Sorry to be an uppity, proud-ass beeyotch, but I think I’ve cracked the super-secret code used by CBS to title each episode of our terror-riffic new fave show! The first one ended with Uncle Harry getting chopped in [...]

Gasmi, I’m back, and that means it’s time to plunge into the dark enchanted forest of Harper’s Island, that eerie place “37 miles off the coast of Seattle” (just over the Vancouver city limits I have a feeling), for another terrifying hour of psycho-killer bull-pshit. We’re about to be 1/13th closer to solving this mystery. [...]

Gasmi, I’m back, and that means it’s time to plunge into the dark enchanted forest of Harper’s Island, that eerie place “37 miles off the coast of Seattle” (just over the Vancouver city limits I have a feeling), for another terrifying hour of psycho-killer bull-pshit. We’re about to be 1/13th closer to solving this mystery. [...]

Hello, Gasmi! Welcome to the debut of Harper’s Island. I’m your recap artist, Leia LaBiblia. If you ever wondered what North Shore would have been like with a serial killer around, have I got a show for you. This thirteen-week bloodbath about a super-deranged fiend stalking a fancy wedding is just the thing if you’re [...]