Author: madeyoulaugh

Its been a while since a double take post, but B-Sides Survivor post inspried me. I knew I saw this somewhere before.

Jim Caviezel to Play Bo Bice in Upcoming Feature

The National Enquirer is reporting that Michael Jackson, star of 1974 TV movie Free To Be You And Me, has sold his bait…sorry…make that home, which he has lived in since 1988 (or as Jackson recalls, “Joey Lawrence’s expiration date”). Jackson has reportedly sold the estate for $36 million, or as his accountant Niel Rosbaum [...]

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Back in 1988, girls everywhere would have considered a kiss from Tom Cruise to be the memory of a lifetime. Former Dawsons Creek bueaty, and current beard, Katie Holmes, was no exception. But it seems she got more than she bargained for with her romance with Tom Cruise. Yes, for Katie Holmes it doesnt have [...]

Are you tired of sucking and not getting made fun of enough for it? Do you wish you had some sort of physical manifestation of suck? Have you named your daughter Vonzell or your son Constantine, and feel they just aren’t getting enough of beatings at school? Well I have news for you. Former Laker [...]

A Box Of Kleenix + An Old Love Returns = A True TVGasm

by madeyoulaugh and J-Unit Had god made the 8th plague viewing LOCUST’s rather than actual locusts, Pharaoh would have let his people go before the second Enzyte commercial. So imagine the made for TV movie of the week genre is a barrel. Now within that barrel, there are the I KNOW MY FIRST NAME IS [...]

Coming Soon….TvGasm on Locusts….

Books senior year in college – $534. A night out on the town with friends in college – $123 pizza 9 times a week senior year of college – $3,600 Neglecting to pay my first Capitol One card and having no choice but to buy Clay Aiken’s ReChargable MasterCard debit card and use it in [...]

More than anything, I just wanted to use that headline

Just pause, take a moment. Look at these two. Take a breath. Mmmmm…Who wouldn’t wan’t to bang them? Yes, one time wanna-be, and current never-was, Corey Something-or-other has made a statement declaring while he was a contestant on the 3rd season of America Idol, he engaged in sexual acts with one time Pop star, and [...]

Jurrassic Park the ride has one of the more exciting drops at Universal. In this photo, the Idols are experiencing a physical manifestation of their careers future. While the Idols thought they were on Jurrassic Park the ride, other Universal guests thought they were on The Soon To Be Washed Up Celebrities the ride as [...]

TVGasm is dedicated to leaving no stone unturned, no rock unrolled and no hard mineral unrotated. Which is why we hired an outside company to find out the identity of the pathetic middle age woman who actually made a sign for constantine. 24 hours and nearly $2,400 later, we have uncovered the womans identity. Q: [...]

Every once in a while, a letter comes through to TVgasm which I feel an obligation to print. It has been a while since I deemed one worthy of publication. In fact, not since Jesus’ letter have I felt compelled to print one. But after reading this letter, I was nearly moved to tears by [...]

In what is still a developing story, Universal Pictures Executives Scott Stuber and Mary Parent seem to be jumping ship. The power couple (of a non sexual variety), who were ranked #58 in Premiere’s 2003 annual Power 100 List. and were the executives behind such films as MEET THE FOCKERS, THE HULK, DAWN OF THE [...]

Yes, it’s true. My identity has been compromised. The one once known to you as Madeyoulaugh is actually I, Gasmini The Wondertastical. Though I’ve tried in the past to keep my premonitions of the future to invade my recaps and sarcasticaps, it seems my visions are so grand they cans’t be contained without great concentration [...]

Well, I for one was completely impressed by the caliber of titles the TVGasm readers came up with for the new Britney Federline show. It was so hard to pick who would recieve a Tarshi Bar for reasons of two. 1) They were all very good & 2) the Tarshi Bar is so nasty, I’m [...]

Reality TV’s future white OJ, Chris Douchebagenstein, was shown last night as being the worst buyer at shameless product placement mega-store Best Buy. After Best Buy neglected to give him his (shameless product placement) Visa credit card, Mr. Douchebagenstein had to spend a majority of the next day standing in the wonderfully air-conditioned and shamelessly [...]

Are you 25 or older? You still live with mom and dad? Have you ever made fun of someone for mispronouncing Matt Groening’s last name? Have you already secured Episode III tickets? Are you a virgin? Well then you are the person I am looking for. An unnamed Hollywood player, with several major credits under [...]

Variety reports today that trailer park power couple Britney Spears and that dancer guy will not be making their reality TV debut on COPS or Springer as previously thought. Rather UPN, the network brave enough to bring us “The Mullets,” will try “trumping” MTV in their ability show a “real world” or “surreal life” of [...]

Mama Mischa!! Yet another reason “Reality” can be better than “TV,” no FCC. No one to censor what is said, or inferred. No one to force religion upon us. And of course, no one to stop Mischa Barton from sunbathing tannig topless and inadvertantly exposing her “reasons for celebrity” to nearby papparazi. And on a [...]

Reality Blurred brought to our attention that at this past weeks Miami Fashion Show, Katrina Campins new modeling career was really bustin’ out. That is to say she is really bustin’ out at her modeling. Err…hmmm, I guess the punniest way to put it is “HEY LOOK, THAT CHICK FROM THE APPRENTICE’S BOOBIE POPPED OUT!” [...]

Gollum + Chick From The Grudge = Constantine Maroulis

Gizmo + Effiminate Naked Statue = Constantine Maroulis

1990′s Court TV superstar Johnny Cochran is dead. Drudge Report is the first to report, no further news at this time. Johnny will be long remembered as co-star of the TV show THE OJ SIMPSON TRIAL, which aired for over a year on all major networks, Court TV, Fox News and CNN. Initial cause of [...]

We have accessed Hollywood Insider’s Pat O’Brien’s alleged voicemail messages to a coworker he is trying to coerce into a threesome with both he and an anonymous woman identified only as “Betsy.” Message after message the stunningly sleazy comments to his coworker get more and more graphic as Pat gets more and more into the [...]

Ever get the feeling American Idol is phoning things in this season? Well, we do, especially now that the exclusive TVgasm insider at the Fox network has revealed that tonight’s supposed live episode aired on the East Coast with WRONG PHONE NUMBERS. We don’t know how it happened since they had the full 24 hours [...]

In a stunning display of airbrushing at its finest, Gail Berman’s only moderately puffy mug graced the cover of THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER online today in what is bound to be the talk of the town…until I let out details of a certain threesome with a married man in a jacuzzi at Sundance…. In a stunner [...]

Shanon Elizabeth gives homeless man autograph, then Divorce Papers All things come in three’s, including celebrity break-ups. Last night American Pie masturbating chick filed for divorce from LOST’s Hurley. (ok not really) This break-up was taken particularly hard by fat, hairy unnattractive men everywhere who thought, “See, it could happen to me.” No, fat man…it [...]

Only a mere 14 months after announcing their engagement, Hollywood juggernaut power couple Katie Holmes and Chris Klein have parted ways. When reached for comment their publicists had this to say, “Oh wow, our phones do work.” The split has been especially hard for all the Holmes and Klein fans. TvGasm attempted to reach them [...]

At six and a half months pregnant, Denise Richards has filed for divorce for “actor” husband Emelio Estevez, or Martin Sheen or Charlie Sheen…the one who was in Ferris Bueller. Richards sites irreconcilable differences. Main thing they differ on is how many women Charlie is allowed to bang while pretending he’s working extra hours. The [...]

In what is expected to be the least watched awards show since the 2004 Daytime Emmy Awards, the National Television Academy has announced today their nominees for the 2005 daytime Emmy’s. Oy. < sarcasm> Still massaging my abdominals from Vanessa Marcil’s hylarstical opening monologue last year < /sarcasm> I cant help but wonder why they [...]

TV enthusiasts aren’t created overnight. Dedicated are we who spend years of our childhood watching mind numbing hours of TV. People used to call those “wasted years.” My parents told me if I kept watching that much TV, I would grow up ill adjusted. Well I’m grown up and I am well adjusted. Why thanks [...]

Weekly diaglogue, summations, speculation and theories are now being shares on the new LOST MESSAGE BOARD. Be sure to sign up to the Gasm message boards to share your thoughts on LOST or any other show GASM covers. Great chance to get to know the Gasm staff and readers a little better. No animals were [...]

Avid, TvGasm reader and Hollywood insider “A.A.”, had a small celebrity sighting with Verne “Mini Me” Troyer at one of the hollywood television studio lots today. Though the small statured star was enroute to a meeting and unable to oblige to a fan seeking a photo, he did leave his famously pee’d on scooter unattended [...]

The Apprentice’s Cruela Deville, when not killing puppies and plucking a draq queen shape into her eyebrows, berates complete strangers and insults old men who drive lesser cars than hers. In a recently stolen webcast video on a Kristen Kirchner fan site, Kristen refers to herself has a “hot chick”, bashes Los Angeles, and tells [...]

Have you ever wanted to be a part of television, but worried about scraping your fat ass away from your TV or internet for longer than it takes to order your double stuffed, thing crust, triple decker, multi-cheese, meat lovers, pan fried, deep fried pizza? Worry not! Tv Gasm is making available to you a [...]