Author: McWeanis

Hello gasmiiiiii! I’m writing from Bogota, Colombia, 3,000 miles away from my usual spot. See how dedicated I am to you all?? Over the Wall We’re past the drama of last week’s ice climb, and Jon and his wildling buddies are back to tromping south on foot. Now, though, they’re in the green grass instead [...]

Damn. Just the ‘previously on’ shows how effing confusing this show has become. This week, the writers decided to go fucking hogwild and completely ditch the books. Commenters, can we discuss this??? I don’t want to be a spoiler, but there is some serious, serious departure going on here, and I’m fascinated to find out [...]

  A Cave We open back in the cave of the Brotherhood without Banners, on the face of Thoros of Myr shining in the firelight. For those of you have trouble remembering, Thoros of Myr is the new bearded guy with the long hair and two eyes. Last week, we learned that the Hound has [...]

Jaime & Brienne I’m not going to lie, this episode starts out GROSS. I mean really gross. The first shot is of Jaime Lannister’s rotting severed hand hanging around his neck. After we get some necrophiliac/incest/butt sex humor from the evil peanut gallery, Jaime falls off his horse into what appears to be a pit [...]

Now THIS is more like it. Political machinations, attempted rapes, a bit of dismemberment, and of course boobs… GoT seems to be back in its rhythm. Let’s start with the boring. (p.s. – one bitcoin to whoever figures out the reference in the recap title.. WITHOUT GOOGLING! I can tell!) Riverrun Over at the Tully [...]

It’s a double entendre or something! Because the episode was boring and Is till watched it! And also people were taken captive! Get it?

MY DARLING GASMII! We’re back! Yes, I recognize that this is deeply, deeply late. Next week it will be Monday morning, I promise! So. It begins. There’s no “previously on…” which is fine in my opinion, because anyone attempting to start this show at the beginning of season 3 probably has an intellectual disability. (See [...]

Wow! That was a really stupid finale and didn’t resolve anything! I actually watched it live, which may have  put its shittiness into sharper relief. Russell is killed in the first minute, despite being perhaps the best character on the show. no more of this????????? All that lead up, not killing him in the first [...]

In which all of the storylines finally come together… by bringing everyone to the Authority.

Vamps v. Shifters, Faeries, Humans, & each other

Some crappy storylines are finally tied up, and the Authority’s crazy religious tentacles start reaching into other characters’ lives.

Whew! I almost forgot this was on, with the Olympics and all that good clean fun. I’m glad I remembered though, a. to avoid angry comments and b. cause this episode was awesome. Last week.. everyone hates everyone. Young pregnant wives hate their sorcerer husband, wolves hate wolves, vamps hate vamps, Sookie hates her powers, [...]

This episode is all about love turning to HATE! Jessica bears the brunt of it, with both Jason and Hoyt turning on her. The human race in general gets some too, with relatively gentle vamps like Bill and Eric going wackadoo. Lettie Mae breaks the last straw for any semblance of relationship between her and [...]

Finally, the answer we’ve all been waiting for… What makes Russell’s dick hard??

Well, this was a short, relatively uncomplicated episode. It happened to make for mediocre tv, but it’s great for me as a recapper! Heigh ho! Russell Hunt/Boring Politics At the end of last week’s episode, millions (dozens?) of Alsookie Stackheaux shippers were thrilled as the two FINALLY appeared to be getting it on. This week, [...]

Heh! Remember that time that last week there were a lot of storylines? Also, remember a lot of random little diddles of scenes that never went anywhere? Well, tonight, True Blood’s going to address ALL OF THEM! (Just kidding, only like two, but they’re still pretty random. You’ll see.) I’m going to start with the [...]

Bwahh! Why do I always pick the shows with a bajillion plot lines going on? Oh yes, I pick shows based on male nudity percentage, not ease-of-recap. Well, I certainly got enough man parts this week, so I guess all is forgiven. Anyway. Whew! There’s a lot of seemingly unrelated plot lines. How do these [...]

Welcome to your finale! This week’s episode also opens with a grumpy-Don-in-the-morning scene. This time, it’s not a sassy competitor at the barber; it’s a toothache. It’s clearly hurting Don a lot, but he refuses to go the dentist: “It’ll go away. It always does.” Really? A sore tooth that allows Don to punish himself [...]

Well, I’m pretty sure most of us knew this was coming. Someone was going to commit suicide, and given his financial troubles, Lane seemed the most likely candidate. (Now that he is dead I will bother to spell his name correctly.) I’m not happy about this, and I’m also not sold on its plausibility – [...]

In which nightmares come true. Duh.

In which women are for sale. Literally. And figuratively, since this is Mad Men, after all.

Tyrion steps up, Joffrey steps inside, the Hound steps down, Cersei steps closer to crazy.

Layne is screwed, Joan tries to get screwed, Harry screws Paul’s girlfriend.

In which peen-based bad decisions come to roost. Again.

In which our aging heroes bitterly sabotage the young and successful.

Previously… Theon has Winterfell, Joffrey has poop and slap on his face, Jon has a hot firey-haired prisoner, Shae has tantalizing breasts, Arya has one more death to give, Daenerys… does not have her dragons. And HERBERT’S STILL ALIVE! This week’s episode is titled “A Man Without Honor”, which could pretty much refer to any [...]

MY HAMSTER LIVES!!!   So far, anyway. I haven’t been home in three days, but he was alive last time I saw him and making normal poops again. YAY HERBERT! And now our regularly scheduled program which you actually care about. Previously on a Game of Thrones… CLICK FOR SLAP ACTION Yea, that’s pretty much [...]

***You may have noticed that we’ve been short on Mad Men Recaps. We love this show, and we’re not giving up, dammit!! Please welcome the hilariously talented McWeanis to take over for the season!! Previously… I don’t know, because I haven’t been watching this season. But I have seen all the other seasons, and based [...]

In which flying diarrhea gets the war flowing again.

OMGEEEZ I’m so excited! I’m watching TV or a real TV and it looks soooo good! And my recaps gonna be posted at a reasonable time! Previously… look at my recap, cause I just posted it on Saturday. Heads in saddlebags, gross sex, betrayal, imprisonment, dead children and so forth. Dude, the map looks so [...]

gotta marry a king who beheaded my dad: medieval white girl problems

Topics in not okay reproduction: incest and post-birth abortion.

It’s mcweanis and I’m ba-ack…. You should know that I really, really love you, cause it’s almost finals time at law school and I’m doing this instead of learning about laws and stuff. Okay, I’m about to lay down a semi-short season recap for you, because I know this show is confusing as hell. Previously, [...]

The ugliest contestants get eliminated; unfortunately, Robin is not eligible.

And Gaga and some other people watch.

It’s blurry, but you can still see the dead eyes.

SQUEEEEE

“Made it 16 & Pregnant! Teen Mom, here I come!”

Marrying off your gross kids, beheading your enemies, blood magick, & expensive whores!