Author: O. Snapp

The last few episodes of “Beauty and the Geek” have been, to me, like combinations of other reality shows. The makeover episode is like, well, every other reality show out there, the last episode was a combination of “Project Runway” and “Who Wants To Be A Superhero,” and this week was a mix of “So [...]

This week, Beauty and the Geek taught us that the key to any good relationship is moral support, communication, and tight-ass pants (or, if you prefer, tight ass-pants).

Tonight was the episode we’ve all been waiting for: The Makeover Episode. That’s right, it’s that special time in practically every reality TV show when everyone who was previously hideous or hopelessly nerdy gets a free session with professional miracle worker and the chance to become socially acceptable (at least on the outside). I, for [...]

Last week, O. Snapp was busy fighting crime and making snappy puns in Canada, and meanwhile, on “Beauty and the Geek,” so much drama ensued that I am tempted to call the Commissioner and have him switch me to administrative duties instead of field work. Apparently, to no one’s surprise, the so-called “hot” guy and [...]

Tonight on Beauty and the Geek, as our stereotyped contenders moved into the house and got to know each other better, we learned why weed should be legal and how to fight stupid with stupid, in addition to seeing the nerdiest rappers since Snow burst onto the scene, oh so many years ago.

“Huzzah!” I’ve gotta say I’m pretty excited to be recapping this season of “Beauty And The Geek” even though I’ve never seen the show before, because if there’s anything I can make fun of, it’s 1) idiots, 2) sluts, and my personal favorite 3) idiotic sluts. And as a personal preference I seem to take [...]

OMG you guys, tonight was the AGT Results show, and may I say I’ve never been more excited for a season finale in all of my life? Not because of the immense amount of excitement that has built over the course of the season or for the love for characters within my heart that has [...]

“Yep… Still drunk” Last time on “AGT”… well, who the hell knows what happened? Last time “AGT” was on, I was on a beach in a foreign country. And I guarantee you David Hasselhoff was the last thing on my mind. The show doesn’t even have a proper recapping section because, hey, let’s face it, [...]

Doesn’t he look like a grown-up Chucky? So it’s the 8th week of this retarded show and after the guilty pleasure of watching hordes of massively untalented people go home, the sweet taste of condescending satisfaction wears off and we’re left with the filmy aftertaste of the top ten. While the contestants cuddle with their [...]

A’ight kiddies, tonight was part deux of the “Tuesday Night Event” to show us the last ten performers up for your consideration and tell us which losers are really losers, and which losers are only losers for one more week. The Jerr-ster assures us tonight will be “a night to remember” but I feel that [...]

This week began the first section of the semifinals for the thinly-veiled Hasselhoff ego stroke masquerading as a talent circus. This is supposed to be the part where we start to see a higher concentration of gifted people than not. Don’t get your hopes up, home viewers! There was still a satisfactory amount of crap [...]

Well, kiddies, the producers spent a whole hour of airtime showing us who got through to the hallowed Final 20. I will not bore you with the play-by-play of that; it was boring enough to actually watch it. Instead, I came up with a little game for y’all to play instead. More after the jump…

Finally, after what seemed like eons of auditions episodes, we are down to the top 70 most talented people in America. Going into this episode I thought, “Now what? Everybody’s good? What’s there to make fun of?” Ohohoho, don’t you worry, dear readers, this episode was fraught with the shittiness we’ve come to expect from [...]

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK As I look upon last week’s New York episode of “America’s Got Talent,?” all that comes to mind is, “What the hell???” As in, “What the hell is with a show whose title is grammatically frought with error?” and “What the hell is with David Hasselhoff’s [...]

Welcome back for another fun-filled 2-hour episode of “America’s Got Hoff!” Tonight’s episode saw krumpers, a slew of fine young men for Sharon to paw at, and a weak attempt at drama by the Hoff himself. How dare he try to out-tantrum an Osborne?!

After last week’s circus of a season premiere, I was actually, in my guilty pleasure heart of hearts, sort of looking forward to tonight’s Los Angeles episode of “America’s Got Talent.” What kind of crazy wild antics would they have tonight? More bratty kids? More vaudevillian entertainment? Perhaps the Hoff would move his eyebrows? Unfortunately, [...]

Ah, summertime. The glorious months traditionally thought to be a television wasteland, after all of the good shows have had their finales, are no longer so. Well, actually, it is still a wasteland, but at least it’s an entertaining one. At least during summer we have no question about the quality of the programming; we [...]

Few television shows (reality shows, more specifically) live up to their expectations. Even fewer save up everything you ever wanted from them and then blow their load on the season finale. “The Search For The Next Doll” is one of those shows, and has always been only what I needed it to be: superficial, slightly [...]

/> My friend Kelley recently taught me a drink recipe she learned in Texas. Basically, you just add V8 juice and pepper to beer and pour over ice. Now, you may think, Ew, my seven vegetables a day and beer? Nasty! You look at it and it’s this weird orange color, with little bits floating [...]

By the end of the “Search For The Next Doll” this week, I was frustrated, flim-flammed and flabbergasted. This week’s lesson: it’s a slippery slope to the destruction of a dream once you realize it’s possible to fuck up.

Okay, I’d just like to say that in light of last week’s sneak peek of this week’s episode talking about Anastacia’s “weight issue” (oh god), I drew up a quick list before the show of the items I expected to see on this episode, after, you know, existing in the world and seeing any reality [...]

This week’s episode was bountiful of lessons. It drew from deep within its totally fabulous self to bring us a very special message about keeping the peace. About accepting one’s inner he/she. And about not being a total sassafras bitch to everyone around you. After a quick recap of the episode where Sisely should have [...]

Well, sadly, this week’s Pussycat Dolls episode was not as fun-filled, drama-filled or even ralph-filled as I would have liked. However, it’s not as ridiculous as the show that ANTM has devolved into, so I guess it was just an off week. I do have to say, though, that I LOVE a good makeover episode! [...]

As I settled in tonight for the second episode of “The Search For The Next Doll,” with my remote control and a nice cold beer by my side, I pondered its place in reality television. Would it successfully differentiate itself from the Mother Ship, “America’s Next Top Model?” Which girl would out-pop the others? How [...]