Author: PottyMouth

I’m sure you’ve guessed as much from the title, but I’ll tell ya anyway……this week New York Goes to Work as a clown! Now I know I asked for this last week, but I sort of had second thoughts. I mean, clowns have always creeped me out. Ever since that fucker in the Poltergeist movie. [...]

Tonight’s the first of many sad sad nights. Or angry nights. Maybe happy nights. It all depends on which dancers go home, who you’re voting for, and what atrocity Cat is wearing. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…..dance)! This dress wouldn’t be bad if it wasn’t the color of POOP. 

♫♪ Tonight’s the night we’ll make hiiiiistoooorrrrryyy, Gasmi, you and I. And we’ll watch every dance, and listen to Adam taaaalk. We’ll sway and we’ll swoon and gawk.  â™«  I’m so excited for the first performance show of the season! Let’s see what these dancers have got. THIS.   Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…….dance)! I see [...]

Have I told you lately that I hate this show? Have I told you it makes me want to die? It takes away all my laughter, makes me want to swing from the rafters, or maybe just stick a fork in my thigh. This week New York Goes to Work as a doggie day care worker. [...]

Tonight we find out who will be the top twenty for this season of So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance). This is always the episode of the season that’s sort of a snooze for me. I mean, there’s only so many ways you can tell someone they’re in or out. On a separate note, [...]

I gotta tell you Gasmi, I am not a violent person by nature. But right now? My palms are itching to slap Mia across her bitch ass face. I’ll save the rest of what I have to say about her for later. But hot diggity dog I am P-I-S-S-E-D. And the rest of the judges [...]

This week New York Goes to Work as an exotic animal trainer. Gee, I never woulda guessed. So I tried to mirror the exotic animal trainer job, I really did. I found a circus, and sought out their trainer, but he was too busy trying to keep his face from being chewed off.

Holla Gasmi! Wow, it’s been a while, huh? I’ve missed you. So! Tonight is the last round of auditions for this season of So You Think You Can Dance (dance……dance)! I’m going to be honest here, I am fucking tired y’all. This evening we’re going to have some phenomenal moments, Adam being cute as a button, a bunch of nutters, and [...]

Holla Gasmi! Welcome to the second day of auditions for So You Think You Can Dance (dance ……… dance). Tonight we’re heading to Miami and Memphis to see what they have to offer. As usual, we’ll see too many train wreck and loons, and not near enough good auditions to satisfy me. Don’t blink or [...]

In honor of this week’s job on New York Goes to Work, I busted out my old Ouija board, and asked it a few questions. I was looking for some answers. Question #1: Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? It ignored me. Hmmm. Question #2: How many licks does [...]

Holla Gasmi! Dust off those tap shoes, pull that bunched-up leotard out of your ass, and keep your becdazzler handy. It’s time for season five of So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance)! My giney just got all tingly. 

This show is killing me! To help speed the process along, I’ve decided to mirror New York’s job each week as I write my recap. Last week, it was eating an entire bag of pork cracklin’. This week, I’ll be writing my recap au natural – all I can say is be happy you can’t [...]

Okay, maybe not. But it sounds more exciting than what’s actually about to happen. We’ve got a pretty even match this year on Hell’s Kitchen. Who do you think will win?  It’s not her, so you know I’m happy!   

To get myself in the mood for this week’s episode of New York Goes To Work, I just polished off an entire bag of Grandpa John’s Pork Cracklin’ Strips. Now seasoned with cayenne pepper. Mmmmmmmm. If you have never had pork cracklin’ before, you should definitely give it a try. Just be sure to have [...]

This week, they spend the first twelve minutes of the show recapping the entire season of Hell’s Kitchen so far. TWELVE MINUTES!! I never understand this. Does anyone ever just start watching a show the episode before the finale?? Do they really think we can’t remember the season we just watched?!? I’m not this guy [...]

New York Goes To Work. Wow. So in a nutshell, each week New York will be performing one of three possible jobs. The one she has to do will be decided by viewers voting. (They’re charging for the voting!! A dollar per vote.) If she does the job correctly, she gets ten grand. If she [...]

This week on Hell’s Kitchen…… WOO!! She’s gone where the goblins go, below, below, below, yo ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out. Okay, so I’m getting a little ahead of myself here, but you’re all going to have to deal with it. Mmmkay?

This week, my brain explodes while watching Hell’s Kitchen. Wonder why? No you don’t. You know why. But if you want to see it all unfold, join me after the jump.

There is some sort of bullshit going on this week in Hell’s Kitchen. Smells like poo.

So we’re down to the final six in Hell’s Kitchen. What will this week bring us? Incredible teamwork? Amazing food? Or incompetence and whining?  Join me after the jump to find out. It’s a hot time in Hell tonight.

Warning! This recap has been rated AA (Anti-Andrea). You may want to skip reading this recap if you are Andrea, are related to Andrea, or for some unknown reason, LIKE Andrea. If the latter applies to you, you may also want to seek psychiatric help. Thank you. On with the recap! This week on Hell’s [...]

So. This past week I learned that I have been misspelling Chef Ramsay’s name for the past seven episodes. Shout out to jakeinla for the heads up! All I can say is Oops! Sorry Chef. I hope someday you will be able to forgive me. I said I was sorry for fuck’s sake. What else [...]

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, Ben sweats all over the place, PrettyGirl quits again, and Andrea is a bitch. Someone get this dude a towel immediately!

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, JP wonders who he pissed off in production, a boy becomes a man, and the thirty second rule gets put to the test. It’s mine, all mine!

This week, American Idol is not satisfied with monopolizing the air waves during its eighteen thousand hours of scheduled time and bleeds its bloated ass into my show. This. Is Hell’s Kitchen, dammit. Get off my TV NOW Please!!!!

This week, Hell’s Kitchen starts pretty much where it left off. Did I stutter? Suck it Bitches!!

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, the gang takes a field trip, learn some life lessons about meat and where our food comes from, and we get to enjoy the juicy squishy sounds of vomit. Hope you have those barf bags ready Gasmii!!

This week on Hell’s Kitchen……There’s a shucking good time to be had by all, except for Chef Ramsey.

Ladies and Gentlgasmii, welcome to Season 5 of Hell’s Kitchen!! Grab your tongs, put on those aprons and get ready for a mother-plucking funfest of cooking, crying, and my personal favorite, Cursing. Wooooo!