Author: Staff

Last night, Survivor turned in a good direction, Brittany and Old Eyes kept up their war, and someone ran around touching people with cancer.

Last night on TV, Shear Genius ended, Top Chef Masters and The Challenge began, Ugly Betty almost ended, and Chooch needs Farmville friends. Your first challenge is to turn that homely cow with braces into a gourmet popsicle.

Last night, Desmond was back with calmer hair, aliens tried to start crap with us, and we learned how to do the Lawnmower. This woman is terrifying in the past, present, future and sideways.

Last night, Patty was Patty, Jessica was Jessica, and 24 was a very exciting bummer.

Last night on TV, people got their pipes cleaned and there was a key party. Clean vibes.

Last night, we all curled up in candlelight and read a book. Kidding! We watched endless hours of television! Come on in! Books are bad for you. Ask this family. They lost their eyes reading Jane Austen. Consider yourself warned.

Last night on TV there were split ends and season ends. Wah to both.

Last night, Brenda got screwed, so did Anna but on purpose, Sun got a headache, Patchy lost an eye again, and Bravo reminded us that there is no shortage of douchebags with decent jobs out there. Thanks, Bravo! We can stop dating jobless douchebags now!

Last night on TV, Glenn got fired, Jessica looked tired, and terrorists talked dirty bombs.

Last night, men cried and dumb people raced smart.

Last night, Flash Forward struggled to put it together and the Models of the Runway struggled to not eat.

Last night on TV, Tyson turkeyed the plan, a stylist lost her shit, Betty got her mouth caught in a bra, and people on the Real World tried to feel things. Whatever. Also, Randy wore this.

Last night, Annie got a stalker, Patti hooked someone up with lazy diction, and the smoke monster made some trouble.

Last night on TV, Jessica learned that skinny is pretty, Patty made some holes in the wall, and you’re never gonna believe this but there was a mole in CTU!! So basically, nothing new happened on any show last night, but they were all still fun to watch. Come on in! Ah, Ted. You make [...]

Last night on TV, the Desperate Housewives learned that Katherine shouldn’t work customer service lines.

Last night, Project Runway whipped out some team challenge action, the Models bored us to death, and Flash Forward returned from rehab. Remember me?

Last night in TVland, The dude in the Panda hat met the wind of Obama’s helicopter, minority hair is hard to do, Betty met her boy twin, and Skara still didn’t get kicked off Idol. Made it through another week!

Last night in TVille, Lost was awesome, and the Bad Girls still haven’t quite earned a great zip code, but they did infect more hours of television programming, which is fine by us!! I’ve infected Midget.

Last night in TVland, Jessica Simpson assured us that she’s still a moron, Patty Hewes assured us that she’s still a witch, and Chloe assured as that she can still do one face really well. Come on in!!

Last night in TV land, the Housewives reminded us of WW2. Wait. The Amazing Racers became lesbians. Forget it. I just don’t know any more. Come on in! Desperate Dresses at War With Themselves

Last night, Mones got skerd and Allison DuBois got some really bad extensions. See?

Last night in TVland, people survived, Madonna showed up on TV without a new baby or a new child groom, models tried to figure out what the four elements are, and America peed all over the grave of American Idol. Actually, please don’t vote ever again you jerks.

Last night in TVland, the dude in the panda hat got laid again, Ugly Betty brought her cute face back to our TVs, and some cupcakes had to die.

Last night, 90210 came back, Ben went towards the light, and a rich dude fell for a farmer. Come on in!

Last night in TVland, Martin Short was creepy, 24 was stupid, Kell was empowered, and Fantasia ended. Come on in! Go ahead and free yourself, girl.

The Oscars were full of self love, dirty looks, and even some pretty dresses! Come on in!

Last night, both of our favorite ghost shows were back in action. Come on in! Donna is no longer taking any one’s crap, k?

Last night, idols hid in unexpected places, gave acceptance speeches, and tried to convince us they were country stars while models had a pool party and ole Gordo Ramsey made people cry. All in all a good night. Come on in! I’d like to thank the Academy for this thrilling honor. And of course GOD, [...]

Last night, there were two Pandrews and they could have both used a Posh Spice makeover.

Last night, Bad Girls probably won’t ever be Millionaires and Sayid could have used some good old fashioned Parenthood. That infection did nothing for your hair.

Last night, girls rolled around in mud, terrorists played silly games and jumped out of windows, and Fantasia was fuh real, k? This should be the new Bachelorette.

Last night, the Olympics came to a close, White Castle’s meat remained a mystery, and Bree got herself a creepy stalker who wears too much lipstick. And no, I don’t mean this guy.

Last night on TV, racist or not? was the question on both Survivor and American Idol, while Dance Crew had some dance karaoke for us. Come on in! Ripen that banana.

Last night, Tabatha showed up to raise some hell and the guy in the Panda hat got laid.

Last night, the girls didn’t do so well on Idol (see recap) but they kicked ass at the Olympics and went nuts on Lost. That was wonderful. Just please don’t come out with a single.

Last night on TV, Johnny Weir made some solo sparkles on his own show, a bunch of women told us nothing disguised as everything, we met the man that made a baby with Kell, and the Dana storyline got even sillier on 24. Can we just start the season over and bring her on as [...]

Last night, the Kardashians bowed for at least a month, people played sports, we got fascinating insight into 7-11, blonde girls made idiots out of themselves and still took the lead in the race, and we just might have been gifted a new housewife!

Last night on TV was….the Olympics. And that was pretty much it. And the Gold Medal for Shoulder Pads in the Rink goes to….