Author: Sugarbush

Yes, kids, the apocalypse is upon us.  Breaking Amish has returned for a second season.  This also means that TLC doesn’t give a single fuck that everyone is onto their complete lack of any legitimacy in their “reality” programming. This episode is quite boring due to the fact that we’re busy catching up on their [...]

  After such a huge scandal and revelations that the show was a giant pile of bull, TLC has brought back Breaking Amish.  We now have a tag Brave New World to add to that title, which apparently means that they’re just making this show the Jersey Shore for the Amish.  Next year, they’ll head [...]

It is here.  The final episode of the shortest season of Drag Race, ever.  We’ve pondered who would be the winner.  We all suffered heart burn and heart ache over last week’s episode in fear that one of our favorite three queens would go home.  I am one who hates a surprise ruined, so I [...]

Well, kids, this is it.  We are down to only two teams of four very pretty boys, so we will find out how this is all supposed to go down. All of our clues thus far indicate that we will have superhero drag queens.  This should be a lot of fun, finally!  Their mini challenge [...]

Last week, we lost our dear Latrice and Manila.  I’m very sad that they went home and not Alexis (and Yara).  Yara deserves to be there, but Alexis just doesn’t   I don’t think Yara understood that no one was pointing the finger directly at her last week on the runway, because she seemed pretty pissed. Our [...]

We begin our week of Drag Race with the aftermath of last week’s send-home of Team Brown Flowers.  At least we’ll be able to figure out what the holy hell the queens are talking about now that Tammie is gone. Latrice realizes that it was her fault they were in the bottom 2, so she [...]

Last time, on Breaking Amish, everyone dramatically returned to their homes, knowing that they would be shunned (and were already). This week, I was ripped off, because I thought it was the final episode.  Oh noooo, it’s not.  They are going to make us endure a 2-hour finale next week.  We begin with Jeremiah giving [...]

**I shall start out this week’s recap with ground rules about the comments section.  You may read the graphic novels and that’s cool, however, not everyone reads them.  Do not share what you know about the novels in the comments.  It’s quite possible that the novels and TV series not follow one another at all [...]

We begin the next leg of our journey down Drag Race All-Stars with chatter about the departures of Mimi and Miss Poopy Pants.  Chad brought up the point that Pandora could have taken the opportunity to turn it out with Mimi and Juju said that she gave up, which means you go home.  I hope [...]

  This week on Breaking Amish, everything is explained in clear, sense-making detail! Hahahahaha!!!  Juuuuuuust kidding!! I may actually be more confused this week than I have been in previous weeks.  This show is like the Benjamin Button of reality TV.  I now know less about these people than I did when watching the premier.   [...]

This week on Walking Dead we finally get a better glimpse into the happenings with Andrea and The Road Warrior.   Michonne is the name of our bad and beautiful road warrior.  Don’t expect this bad bitch with a samurai sword to trust anyone at all.  Also, don’t expect her to talk much.  She does a [...]

It’s All-Stars, babies!  That means we get to relive 11 of our most loved queens and endure Mimi Imfurst.  We begin with the last three Miss Congeniality winners – Pandora Boxx, Latrice “Muthafukin’” Royale, and Yara Sofia.  From season 1 comes Shannel, who looks like she raided an applique liquidation sale.  Not saying I don’t [...]

We are back with America’s favorite drag queens plus Mimi Imfurst.  I will be your recapper this season and I can’t even believe it!  I feel like I’ve won a pageant. Now, don’t you young’uns fret, I will not reveal losers and winners in the minicaps, so feel free to read on.  We have the [...]

We come back right where we left off with Kate in the stairwell freaking out to some Hannibal Lecter piano music.  The producers finally tell us that there’s no evidence to support Sabrina’s claims.  That’s nice.  Then why would you ask Kate the questions you asked her last week?  Oh, I guess that it wasn’t [...]

So, we have a total of 5 prisoners who are alive and living in the kitchen.  When they learn that Hershel has been bitten, their initial reaction is to shoot him, but my darling Daryl has them all in his crossbow sights.  While Maggie, Glenn, and Rick haul Hershel up on a food cart, T-Dogg [...]

Hello and welcome to the third season of Walking Dead.  I will be your recapper this year!  I would like to begin by apologizing for two things.  A)  This is late because I had to get caught up on the show and then wound up having to drive to Austin and back in a matter [...]

This episode is a trip into reality TV mindf*&^ery.  We begin with Jeremiah jumping all over the chance to spring the top secret envelope of DUI docs on Kate in front of Abe and Rebecca.  He loves that he can prove that Kate is a hypocrite.  When Rebecca asks Kate if you get arrested when [...]

The title of this episode is What is Really Happening?.  Unfortunately, this is a total misnomer as we are no closer to the truth of this series than we were last week. So, due to the scandals of this supposed reality show, I’ve done some research.  We can definitely explain away the language and behavior [...]

I’m going to do my best to pretend that this show is legit and that I haven’t heard that Jeremiah and Sabrina are divorced and Abe and Rebecca have a child together.  By the way, did anyone find out the definition for “napalm” yet?  (Sorry, that RHONJ reunion was NUTS last night!) Rebecca is on [...]

Last week on Breaking Amish, we learned that young Amish adults act like middle school kids and kids that go off on Roomspringa seem to do a great job of picking up our foul language. Rebecca’s grandfather and Abe’s mom show up at the hotel in New York City.  Rebecca spies them on the street [...]

This week on Breaking Amish, the kids jump on a plane and arrive in New York City.  The first to meet up are Sabrina, Rebecca, and Abe who all ride the same airplane.  Sabrina initially feels that she and Rebecca will be friends, because Rebecca is nice to her, but that all will soon change.  [...]

Sorry for the super-delay of getting this recap up.  I jumped the fence myself (bought my first house) and will never do it again.  I’ve been very good and didn’t murder a single person.  Because of that, I am free to watch TV for you.  So, let us begin… Bear with me here, because this [...]

It’s time to say goodbye to our favorite f****ed-up parents.  All problems will be resolved in a charming, mature, and loveable way.  Maci and Ryan will stop being immature and fighting about custody in front of Bentley.  Amber will stop popping pills and flying off the handle while Gary will go on a strict diet [...]

Previously on Teen Mom, Farrah is a nutjob and a crappy mom, Maci and Ryan are idiots, and Gary and Amber are terrible parents.  I’m sure none of this will change over the course of the final two episodes.  I could be wrong, but I’m never wrong soooo… Maci and Kyle talk about their birthday [...]

It is the final episode of the first (and very possibly last) season of The Glass House.  We wade through a montage of the season so far.  In the bathroom, Jeffy tells Erica about Kevin’s “lady friend” in Toledo and wonders if Kevin has mentioned this to her.  It’s a bed buddy, so I’m not [...]

It’s the season finale of Mob Wives: Chicago, this should prove to be exciting.  But, it absolutely doesn’t. The Bobbsey twins are hanging out at Renee’s apartment to discuss the “chat” with Nora and Pia.  Pia claims that Nora is not a thought in her mind anymore.  Oh, does that mean that she’s not going [...]

Previously on Teen Mom, Farrah can’t handle being a mom, Maci and Kyle made a terrible decision, Butch blamed April for his jail time, and Gary is still a dick. Debra, the abusive mother, is watching Sophia while Daniel takes Farrah to Austin.  Farrah whines that she misses Sophia and thinks the month without her [...]

Jeffy tells us that his heart broke when Erica started crying.  Oh please, you sent her down there.  He’s all crocodile-tearing over having his best friend also be his biggest competition.  Mike is mocking Jeffy and the fact that he’s kinda’ all alone in the house now.  Kevin asks Mike if he was the only [...]

It’s the morning of the Breast Cancer Walk and Leah is waiting for the girls to show up.  Renee and Pia are there first and I’m very happy to see Renee there.  I would have to hate her if she didn’t come just because of Nora.  C-Wow and Nora are running late and show up [...]

If I could base my psychic abilities on my Teen Mom predictions, I would be vying for my own reality show called The Snarky Psychic.  We begin with Maci and Kyle making one of the stupidest mistakes of their lives.  They are signing the closing papers.  It’s really sweet when Maci tells Bentley they’re getting [...]

A housemate-created music video of some song I’ve never heard introduces this episode.  It was probably better than the real video.  Gene and Kevin seemed to be the only ones who didn’t know the song, which makes sense since they’re the only straight males in the house at the moment. Last week, Joy and Andrea [...]

We start out with confrontation time between Giana and Renee.  Giana says that each of her parents have two completely different stories about her childhood and her father’s involvement in it.  Renee says she never once called the cops when Giana’s father showed up to see her.  Instead, her father never tried to show up [...]

Last week on Teen Mom, Farrah met another victim guy, Amber was sprung from rehab, Cate pondered going to college, and Ryan and his family were angry about preschool. Because Farrah had such a great time on her horseback riding date, she takes Sophia for a ride on a horsey.  It’s really cute and I’m [...]

This week, we will find out if Jeffy made a huge mistake by going down the tubes or if we’ll be rid of Kevin and his terrible attempt at hiding his bald spot.  Mike thinks Jeff deserves to go home, because he was cocky enough to put himself into Limbo.  Andrea was basically telling us [...]

Welcome to the latest installment of the semi-connected women of Mob Wives Chicago! We find out that the charity event of this season will be the breast cancer walk in honor of Leah’s mom.  At least this is legitimate and not some random charity where the drama can reach its peak.  I mean, the drama [...]

I’m so sorry for the delay on this recap, my dear Gasmii.  I’m out of my meds (because I’m stupid and missed my appt) and going through withdrawal, so I feel like a giant bag of flaming shit. We start out this episode with Stephanie pointing out that the house now has more wiener than [...]

I am so happy to announce that this week, Leah’s hair looks the best it’s ever looked on the “live” footage.  I’m a huge fan of curly hair and love to see someone embrace their natural curls and allow their curls to realize their full potential.  We rehash the fight from last week and I [...]

DirecTV and Viacom have settled, so I get to have my Teen Mom back on my boob tube.  It’s just not the same watching these dipshits on a small, non-HD screen.  It just doesn’t capture the idiocy as well. Because Farrah and Ashley think Debra is the most horrible, abusive mother on the planet, Farrah [...]

This week on Glass House, Joy find 4,238 reasons to get upset and pout, Erica still wants to bone Kevin, Stephanie’s bubble is burst, and Jeff attempts to be a messiah. There’s a kissing contest with the girls versus Jeff.  I nearly barfed at all the tongue.  It was like watching an episode of Rock [...]