Author: SunnySideup

Time to go to Karma! Paula’s there in a dress that makes Jenni think she’s trying way too hard to be noticed by Mike. It does look like something from the Jenna Jameson 2009 Collection.

Ron dons a sweaty-looking gorilla suit, and gently scares awake a sleeping Jenni. He’s really taking ‘gorilla juiceheaded’to a very literal level, here.

While they’re hanging together in the pre-shirt time, Mike puts on his Captain Dick cape, gets in the Dickmobile, and floors it.

Honestly though, between GTL with MVP, and day drinking with Sammi, Deena and Ron, I choose….. Hmmmm…. I choose… The Party Bus of Death.

Translated: “Jenelle is a g*ddamn Care Bear,” FYI.

I dunno, I just can’t see Jenelle in the midst of a screaming, cursing fight with Barb, storming out of the house all, “I’M GOING TO YOGA!”

… I don’t get this title at all

It’s court day, and Jenelle seriously looks like a Vegas stripper on a day off. Big hair, white sort of dressy sweatpants, and a white vee-neck Victoria’s Secret PINK shirt. Stay classy, kids in America.

We don’t call him Randelicious for nothing, babe. He’s hot, and he knows that all Chelsea’s moping will not unfuck this situation.

Two’fer Tuesday on Teen Mom 2 tonight but I wish they’d play something good, like some Prince or some Elvis.

Young love. It’s so un-refreshing when it’s unhealthy, and one of the lovers is totally resigned to the abusive nature of it so she holds on, not loosely as 38 Special tells us to, but with a death grip that rivals the way I’d hold on to the last donut hole in a group hunger situation.

Chelsea and Randy meet at a diner and luckily, Journey doesn’t kick on at the jukebox

I swear if next week’s double episode of Teen Mom2 is this boring, so help me I am going to write the whole recap as if Yoda I am.

Randy is dropping the dime on Chelsea, finally! He’s making her marinate in these choices. I wonder if he went and did some therapy ala Tony Soprano on the down low? If so, bra-vo, Randy.

Jenelle et al have driven me to not caring. It finally happened. I’m so invested and have such expectations from Teen Mom2 that when I’m let down, I just want to stuff my emotions.

This one’s gonna be a little on the rushed side, because for one, the episode was kind of boring and for two, it’s Tamale Day.  Nothing says ‘Christmas In Tucson’ like a white half-Jewish girl making the tamales!  Happy Hanukkah, from your favorite honorary chola, La Shy Girl (as named by Juana Chingaso) aka Sunni Sideup [...]

Season 2 Episode 2 of Teen Mom 2 is really just four film shorts that should be expanded into Lifetime: Moment of Truth movies. And it’s called ‘Curveball,’ but I maintain that it should be called ‘Moment of Truth.’ Every single one of them cried in this episode, there was maternal disappointment and growth, and [...]

Episode 2, Season 2 of Teen Mom 2 was really just four Moment of Truth film shorts that really should be turned into Lifetime movies.  And the movie could center around a plucky aging blogger played by Tiffani Amber Theisson, whom I have always said would play me in the movie if the plane carrying [...]

The Teen Mom 2 engine has a lot more power and a much more raw style from the Teen Mom 1 ladies.  These moms are scrappy, and less poised.  Even though they’re in their second season, there is no weariness or acting, really with this bunch.  They just seem so much younger, more naive than [...]

Teen Mom 2, where the girls are twice as trashy, the babies are twice as cute, and the fights make me cringe twice as hard for everyone involved in this sick, sad world that is so far from MTV’s Daria days that it makes me sad for the olden days of hanging out in my [...]

Reunion!

Season finale!

A very special long ass episode

So here we are, a special 90 minute episode of Teen Mom.  These people are delusional, and the most insane thing is that of everyone on the show, it’s Amber and Farrah who are the least delusional in this episode.  Everyone else is losing it, kinda hardcore.  It was a long 90 minutes, too so [...]

Nobody’s staying anywhere in this episode

Yeehaw, y’all!  Amber’s in jail, Maci’s Southern Git ‘Er Done gene finally kicked in, Farrah’s on her way to sunny Florida, Caitlynn shows us she’s human and finally, all’s right in the Teen Mom Nation! AMBER We open with Amber, well really with Gary who’s telling us that Amber is in jail.  Freaking FINALLY.  I [...]

Debra’s commenting that she would love to be hiking, and Farrah lays into her about how it’s not her vacation, she’s there to help Farrah and omg, if I was Debra, I’d have reached over and smacked her like in Farrah’s 16 & Pregnant episode.

This week’s Teen Mom is titled, ‘As Long as We’re Together.’  Is this show smart enough to give us an ironic title?  Because the whole show is about almost being together, but not really about any sense of relief in partnership, the way the title would imply.  Maci wants to be together with Bentley and [...]

Kyle is gonna need to get good and drunk after legally committing to Maci

Amber goes on Date Night with Clinton

Peace, Motley Crue.

Like Teen Mom wasn’t already enough of a mess, we had to go and bring Motley Crue into it?

Let’s get to the part where we are stunned to learn that Gary Shirley gets laid, shall we?

This week on Teen Mom, there are puppies, prying grandmothers, Gary gettin slizzered, and I’m convinced we almost saw the first stroke ever recorded by an MTV camera when Kyle’s blood pressure surged as he realized he’s in a relationship with Maci, Bentley, and Bentley’s hot dad, Ryan.  It made me think of eggplant, actually, [...]

No keggers in the cornfield for these Teens!