Author: TheNooch

Instead of Famous Food this show should be called ‘Everyone Hates Danielle’. Why they gotta be hatin’? She’s just doin what she gotta to get a restaurant up; choosing the menu imposing her own special recipes,  managing the budget keeping the checkbook in her deathlike grip and clutching it between the balloons that sit on [...]

Steven is quickly becoming my favorite Celebrity Rehab patient. His profuse use of the word “bamboozler” gives me such delight. The staff calls him abusive, but I think he just tells it like it is. He doesn’t sugarcoat anything and that’s why I love him. He’s a revolutionary who should seriously consider opening his own [...]

The episode starts off with a healthy dose of Amy Fisher denial. She seems to think that she is in rehab because she is tired, because rehab is where all porn stars go when they need a nap. Riding countless men in front of a rolling camera take after take is hard work and the Pasadena [...]

Famous losers

Watching celebrities try to start up a new restaurant is like watching The Little Rascals trying to hold a meeting; it’s adorable how hard they try but at the end of the day they’ll never get that new tree house built. This week’s challenge: Designing the interior of the restaurant. Since no one has pried [...]

We continue where we left off with Steven Adler giving Amy Fisher his two cents. Dr. Drew may not agree with his methods, but I believe Steven has a good point; “She wouldn’t be here if she was just tired.” She’s here because her work in the porn industry is ‘tired’.  Once she gets her [...]

Famous Food begins

It’s day 4 in the recovery process and Drew has already lost one of his patients in an extended game of hide and seek, Ling Ling. Instead of asking a camera crew member where she might have gone, because they are paid to follow every D-list celebrity 24/7, Drew decides to amble around the grounds [...]

If you think opening up a restaurant with one bitchy celebrity in charge is hard, imagine 7 bitchy celebrities! You don’t have to imagine anymore as fantasy becomes reality on the newest VH1 endeavor to regain America’s attention, Famous Food. The Dolce Group, which is Lonnie Moore and Mike Malin or two talking heads on [...]

We continue where we left off in episode 2 when Ling Ling decided to answer to her moon gods and climbed up to her speaking podium on the roof. God I hope this means we finally get to see some hunky firemen come take her down. The whole staff of Pasedena Recovery is frantically searching [...]

Dr. Super-Drew is here to save the day!

It’s night one and Super-Drew has donned his super cape in anticipation of what crazy shenanigans will go on in this house full of attention-hungry “celebs”. But it’s not all the camera whores Super-Drew is worried about, it’s his hyperventilating staff member, Jennifer, who is upset that Steven Adler is coming. It’s night one and [...]

A safari!

Rehab is back!

In this episode of Bridezillas, we have a bull elephant marrying a longhaired hyena. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to find what’s unique in each terrible person they cast, because they all run in the same vein of terrible. But the South has no shortage of awful hags who want to get married, so the show [...]

If I wasn’t going to hell before, I’ve absolutely got a one-way ticket now. With every snarky recap I write for Celebrity Rehab Season 5, I will be earning myself more HELL points. Every word will bring me one step closer to fiery damnation, but who else is going to poke fun at the disease [...]

True love found in the parking lot of a check-cashing store.

Another episode, another bitchy bride. It seems there is no shortage of crazed women who are on a warpath to the altar. This time on Bridezillas, tensions mount as yet another lady runs into obstacle after obstacle on her journey to the altar. All these women want to do is get married, “why it gotta [...]

Bridezillas begins!

Bridezillas. Both the show and the actual phenomenon are something I’ve never seen but have heard plenty of stories about. Tonight marks the first night I have ever watched Bridezillas and the WE channel. Join me as I pop my cherry for some high quality lady programming. It seems as if all the brides are [...]

Another ending. Wah.

It’s the night everyone has been waiting for on Dancing with the Stars.  If you’re a fan it’s time to finally crown a celebrity dancing champion, and if you’re not it means you can escape Brooke Burke trying to think of 11 different ways to ask the question “how did it feel out there?”  Either [...]

Dancing with the Stars shows no mercy this week. In the first minute of the show they take a jab at Romeo for leaving last week, show countless scenes of people falling, and then Tom says, “there’s no time to stop for pain” as they show footage of Kym Johnson landing on her head. Wicked [...]

Dancing with the Stars has taken a serious turn: Each couple has to do THREE DANCES. Woof! Kirstie is not going to be able to lift an arm to retrieve her last box of peeps. The line up is two choreographed dances and a chacha dance-off. Last man standing wins. Or in this case, youngest [...]

Results!

It’s really coming down to the wire folks. This week we find out who’s going to the semi-finals! And since dancing is just like sports, we have the Dancing with the Stars version of Sports Center: Dance Center. Not a joke. This is real. Very real. The brilliance of DWTS really shines through as they [...]

It’s weird to me that even though we are down to only 6 “stars”, we still show all the stars in the credits.  If those that were eliminated are still watching, it must be a smack in the face that keeps reminding them how far they have fallen, week after week after week. Tom shares [...]

DWTS mini

“Last night was a night of guilty pleasures!” You can say that again Tom! Boy, there’s nothing more that I love to do than sit with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia and a glass of Franzia while I watch my favorite reality show, Dancing with the Stars! When I browse my recordings [...]

DWTS mini!

America week

DWTS min
It’s America Week! Which means unknowns and has-beens take the dance floor in overly bedazzled outfits.

Classic results

A mini DWTS

Get to know me week

The results are in!

DWTS: The good, the bad and the large.