Author: TinyElvis

I’m so sorry for the late recap, Gasmii! I’m still watching Jersey Shore over and over and over again. Thank heaven for the DVR and the pause button. I can’t get enough of watching that tanned dwarf getting punched in the head. Does that make me a bad person? Here’s a tip: Don’t tell a [...]

I’m so sorry for the late recap, Gasmii! I’m still watching Jersey Shore over and over and over again. Thank heaven for the DVR and the pause button. I can’t get enough of watching that tanned dwarf getting punched in the head. Does that make me a bad person? Here’s a tip: Don’t tell a [...]

Hola, Gasmii! For all of you who were kind enough to share the origin of why Johnny Bananas is called Johnny Bananas in last week’s comments, I thank you. And curse you, just a little bit. It’s yet another image I will have to have surgically scraped from my frontal lobe. Speaking of douchebags, I [...]

Hola, Gasmii! For all of you who were kind enough to share the origin of why Johnny Bananas is called Johnny Bananas in last week’s comments, I thank you. And curse you, just a little bit. It’s yet another image I will have to have surgically scraped from my frontal lobe. Speaking of douchebags, I [...]

Apologies for the delays, Gasmii. I was working on my “A game” and “visualizing” my recap and perfecting my “air quotes”. And trying to scrape my brain to eliminate this image:

With Wus finally gone, I was hoping the Champions would get their act together and finally force the goons to prove themselves in the Ruins but no such luck. Fortunately, and sorry to ruin the suspense, most of the scapegoats will be gone by the end of this episode and some of these guys are [...]

Sadly, it looks like exchanging sex for votes is failing miserably in Phuket, Thailand. And it also looks like we’re going to have to listen to at least 42 minutes of the Cohutta – Kellyanne – Wus – Johanna love trapezoid. I’m over it. If any one of the four is the focus of any [...]

MTV owed us since we suffered through last week’s total snoozer of an episode and I’m happy to say that they delivered. There was drunk-yelling, plunger-beating, head-smacking, trash-talking and even fly-eating. Another popped boob implant and I would have nominated this one for an Emmy. And maybe Ibis will invite us to whatever party she [...]

Sincerest apologies for the delay! I’ve been sidelined with an evil virus that not only resulted in this very tardy recap (clearly of the highest priority) but also had me calling in sick on the second and third day of my brand new job. Clearly, I am allergic to employment and am in the process [...]

Previously on The Ruins: Wombat was a drunk, Wus was a maniac and Kellyanne was a slut and a whore. I think that pretty much covers it. Oh, wait, and Evan was an ass. A gentle reminder.

It’s a boring day at Jeff Lewis’ office. Let me tell you, Gasmii, if you have no interest in tile, you might just want to skip this recap because it’s all about tile. Wall tile, floor tile, pool tile and glass tile on shits. I kid you not. There’s a lot of chatter and not [...]

Welcome back my Real Worlding and Road Ruling Gasmii! Here’s this week’s recap: Twenty eight cast members from previous seasons of the Real World and Road Rules contaminate Phuket, Thailand and compete in the newest Real World/Road Rules Challenge/Clusterfuck. Landon is not one of the cast members. The End. Seriously, MTV. I’m far too old [...]

Hola Gasmii! So I’m feeling really good about myself because I am superskinny as I’m just coming off a 48-hour fast. You know, the first twenty four were for Yom Kippur but I like to double up because God LOVES skinny girls. So forgive me since I’m a little light-headed. And maybe a bit drunk. [...]

Remember last week when I said that everyone needed a fashion intervention except for Trace because he only owned a pair of jeans and a white shirt? Well, I was wrong. So very wrong.

Seriously. I’m a big fan of the crossover – you know, where the characters from one television show appear on another for an episode or two – but I believe this may be an actual emergency. Everyone on this show, except for Trace who only owns a pair of jeans and a white shirt, is [...]

So I’m watching this week’s episode of Flipping Out and I’m all “Shawn is totally the tiki doll.” You know the episode of The Brady Bunch where the family goes to Hawaii and the boys find a tiki doll and it brings them all sorts of bad luck? Greg almost drowns, Peter almost gets bitten [...]

This week on Flipping Out, Rachel SUCKS. So much. And I hate her. I hate her because she has no sense of humor and no sense of how to play Jeff’s games. It’s so easy, no? All week Bravo has been teasing me with clips of someone quitting and I pray to all reality television [...]

Welcome back Gasmii! It turns out that Jeff’s newest clients like to work the same way I do — in PJs. With a stripper. Eating tacos. So grab your puppy pajamas and check out this week’s flip. I just don’t understand why Jenni can’t get a date.

Welcome to Season 3 of Flipping Out, Gasmii! For those of you who managed to avoid seasons one and two, join the club! Let’s learn about these madcap characters and laugh as they try to make a living in real estate in the worst economy we’ve seen in decades! By the way, I’m just coming [...]

Here’s a quick lesson on cliffhangers: They’re used at the end of a show to keep you interested until the show returns whether that be next week or next season. If the show does not return, then you have what we call “loose ends” and one really pissed off recapper. Unless I see Andy Cohen [...]

Or the Golden Cooter. Or whatever Lina is stashing between her legs. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but we’re down to the last episode before the finale of this lovable little trainwreck. After enduring four weeks of little more than nothing, I’m excited to report that this week . . . [...]

Not that it demonstrates any sort of psychic ability on my part since it was kind of obvious but I’m pleased to report that I was right. Lina’s pregnancy is no more. Or never was. Or might have been but isn’t now. I’m still in the ‘never was’ camp but we’ll have to wait until [...]

So, Gasmii . . . it’s getting a bit better, no? Nothing like fellatio and a little fake pregnancy to get me interested. Right now, my hopes are pinned on Lina and Ari to keep us going. Without them, it’s just Hardy not marrying, MC not dating, Kat not not-working and Maria not parenting, and [...]

Please bear with me Gasmii. Apparently, no one on the interwebs likes this show enough to post full episodes so my pics are limited by what Bravo decides to put on their website. Of course, this is nothing compared to the afterbirth that Bravo broadcasts every Tuesday night at 10 PM but I will continue [...]

I had high hopes for this train wreck but it was little more than a fender bender. Although the potential was there (Thong bikinis! Gay men! Butter-head blondes with limited command of the English language!), a whole lotta nada happened. But let’s chalk it up to necessary pilot episode formalities and meet our cast. Yeah. [...]

Maria Menounos is given the task of getting to the bottom the Duel 2. Unfortunately, she spends more time talking about things that didn’t happen on the show and about people who aren’t at the reunion. I sat through it anyway (a decent amount of Landon face time didn’t hurt) to bring you all the [...]

****Please welcome back TinyElvis with The Duel Finale!! The reunion will be up shortly. Previously on the Duel: Those of you expecting a competition were sadly disappointed when all you got was a Dr. Phil episode. Tori and Brad got un-engaged, re-engaged and, just when you thought you might never see any physical activity again, [...]

***PopPrincess got busy with a real job, but you are still owed two more recaps! So please welcome your Auditiongasm winner, Tiny Elvis!! Previously on The Duel: Stuff happened that I didn’t see but I’m willing to bet that Landon won something, Rachel didn’t smile, Jenn was annoying, Diem wore pink, and Tori and Brad [...]