Author: Umnata

Gearing up for the launch of the new CW network means having to lead UPN and the WB out back and put two merciful shots in each of their heads. You can’t move on until you’ve buried the past. And while UPN is going out with a whimper (Shasta McNasty marathon perhaps?), the WB is [...]

Gearing up for the launch of the new CW network means having to lead UPN and the WB out back and put two merciful shots in each of their heads. You can’t move on until you’ve buried the past. And while UPN is going out with a whimper (Shasta McNasty marathon perhaps?), the WB is [...]

Oh crappy television, how I’ve missed thee! After a long summer struggling to recap quality, well-written, strongly acted shows, Entourage and Rescue Me, I’m all but saved by the return of Nip/Tuck. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of this show – but like so many fans, I believe, I feel that [...]

So closes another season of Entourage. Sure, this recap is a little late, but you know what, this show is not so easy to recap. I thought 30 minutes of well-scripted Hollywood satire would be a breeze. Much like the Jewish stingray who mistook Steve Irwin for Mel Gibson, I couldn’t have been more wrong [...]

The third season finale of Rescue Me, happened to air just days after a raging fire in Bronx, NY (not too far from the Ladder 62, now that I think of it) claimed the life of Engine Co. 42′s Lt. Howard Carpluk and “Probie” Michael Reilly, 25. The news broke hard around NYC like a [...]

• The War on Paris was handed a huge victory today! Much to my delight, Paris Hilton’s debut album, Paris, is a complete bomb, moving only 75,000 units in its first week. No one is really shocked that the CD sucks, but many were surprised to find that it swallows. [Boston Herald] • Movie poison, [...]

• The War on Paris was handed a huge victory today! Much to my delight, Paris Hilton’s debut album, Paris, is a complete bomb, moving only 75,000 units in its first week. No one is really shocked that the CD sucks, but many were surprised to find that it swallows. [Boston Herald] • Movie poison, [...]

Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have a problem being wrong. Even more so, it’s a good thing I don’t have a problem being wrong on an epic, public scale. So without giving everything away before the jump (the picture and these last two sentences probably make that point moot), let’s just say that [...]

Rufio Sneakers! Public Masturbation! Downtrodden Old People! Pretty rad, right? Boy, do those Entourage guys know how to keep my interest. Keeping up with the split-them-up theme from last week, the guys separate again for most of this episode: Turtle and Vince (nice to see them spending some QT together) are on the hunt for [...]

Well, here we are. It’s been only a few short months since we left the Fox River 8, running for their lives after Shawshank-ing their way out of prison. So first off, let’s thank sg-dub for laying down such incredible, snark-filled groundwork with last year’s recaps – the fire of which I’ll try to recapture [...]

Holy. Crap. What a crazy ending, huh? Although various theories were being spun over what part illegal immigrant Carlyne would play in Capt. Jerry’s life (JasonR’s comments last week had me totally on the citizenship/marriage boat), I don’t think anyone expected that. Yes, I am shamelessly trying to drum up some support for these last [...]

Hey all my Ladder 62 lovers. Without getting sued, let me just say that with the advent of advanced technologies in the digital recording world, so comes a laziness of sorts. Like for example, a laziness in believing that your Digital Recorder, whose manufacturer has been changed to BiBo to protect the innocent, will in [...]

What better way to make us appreciate our Fab Four than to split them up for 30 minutes? It worked for the Backstreet Boys (Nick Carter, please, go away. Oh wait. You did.). And that’s exactly what those geniuses over at Entourage did this week. Turtle and Drama went on a mission to find an [...]

After two weeks off on my recaps (see public apology here), both Rescue Me and Umnata are back on the gasm. And not a second too late, either! If the last two weeks, albeit recap-less, left something to be desired in the way of action, that was definitely the calm before the Gavin storm. Things [...]

If getting paid $100,000 bucks to go to Vegas and judge a stripper contest is rock bottom, then someone please get me to the floor ASAP. I don’t know if most normal humans can consider this as low as you can go, but it’s looking pretty close for Vince on Entourage. After getting fired from [...]

It was bound to happen sooner or later – after a summer filled with way too much TV (remember reruns?) and too much school, work & nonsense – I have fallen hopelessly behind on my recaps. These last few weeks several things converged causing a Perfect Storm of chaos in the usually laid back life [...]

So things aren’t all bad for Vince and the boys on Entourage. In surprising revearsal of fortune, Turtle’s rapper Saigon is starting to blow up, and in this episode Drama is on his way to audition for an Ed Burns created pilot. Ari is on his way to becoming the biggest agency in town, finally [...]

This week’s episode of Entourage deals with all kinds of reprecussions most notably from the Eric/Sloane/Tori ménage a trois. You see, Eric woke up all snuggle bunnies with Tori, and not with his girlfriend Sloane, post-threesome. To make matters worse due to Sloane’s “rules” he wasn’t able to fully, err, release his feelings towards Tori [...]

So what has Janice Dick gotten her models into this week? Well, I guess any day when Janice is twisting off the head of a kitten is a good day at the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency – so everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. Or of boredom. When Janice’s crazy-osity levels are low I [...]

Does anyone even care anymore? Sadly, I still do. So, even more sadly, there will be another installment of this recap. But I’ve made some very important, very big strides in the fight against America’s Got Talent. For one, I have realized that the “talent” in question isn’t so much the problem, as the show [...]

Click on the Map for More This tidbit comes from the most reliable source ever – Umnata’s very own mother – Foxy Roxie! If you knew my mother you’d be extremely tickled by the fact that a) she reads TVgasm religously and b) e-mailed me to tell me she has some “scoop”. She has got [...]

Oh man! I wish I hadn’t used The Rape of Tommy Gavin, as last week’s Rescue Me recap title! But it’s too perfect not to use again here (with some modifications). Remember over the past few weeks when there was all this “rape” speculation swirling around Tommy and Janet’s penchant for angry, rough sex? Those [...]

It used to be threesomes were a way for nice, drunk college girls to ride out their “Gay ’til May” pacts Senior Year of college and to get included in the latest addition of Girls Gone Wild: Herpes Edition. On Entourage the fun, wholesome MFF, you and your parents know and love, was in full [...]

This week on America’s Got Talent, the Semi-Finals began, which means that the crap from the audition round has been waded through and now we’re at a slightly lower level of crap. How lovely. Oh who am I kidding? In the fight for my immortal soul between the smartly written and beautifully acted Deadwood and [...]

So a few weeks ago there was a great deal of hubbub swirling around Rescue Me over Tommy “raping” his ex-wife Janet. Gauntlets were thrown and two camps were formed: Team Tommy Rapist and Team HateFuck. Subsequent episodes and much debate later, it’s pretty clear that what transpired between Tommy and Janet was just yet [...]

Let’s first take a moment to thank God for the first Dom-free episode of Entourage in 3 weeks. I didn’t realize just how much the big lug weighed down the dynamic of our boys until he was gone (best comment about Dom definitely comes from RealityMonkey: “Dom, the Yankees called. They want their stereotypical fan [...]

This week was the last week of auditions on America’s Got Talent, and unlike American Idol, or even America’s Next Top Model, that doesn’t mean that we’re done wading through the crap. Oh no. For every Bianca Ryan who made it through there are 5 Rapping Grannies. And yet, I can’t stop watching. And even [...]

What trouble will Dom get the boys into this week on Entourage. It’s only been a week since Dom has infiltrated our favorite Holywood foursome, but he’s already sparked talk about a certain shark that may or may not be in the process of being jumped. I don’t think anything is that dire just yet, [...]

Not to overdose on symbolism, but the powder keg that is Ladder 62 is about to ignite. On this week’s episode of Rescue Me, things between Tommy and his brother are heading towards an ugly mental showdown, CrazyTaty and Sean hit the skids and Franco finds out the punishment for airing your dirty laundry to [...]

This morning at some ungodly hour the 58th Annual Primetime Emmy nominations were announced by past Emmy winners Brad Garrett and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (herself an Emmy contender for The New Adventures of Old Christine). After year after year of hearing the same old tired series get nominated, a major revamp has been put in place [...]

This morning at some ungodly hour the 58th Annual Primetime Emmy nominations were announced by past Emmy winners Brad Garrett and Julia Louis-Dreyfus (herself an Emmy contender for The New Adventures of Old Christine). After year after year of hearing the same old tired series get nominated, a major revamp has been put in place [...]

So I’ve been trying to get this recap up for a few weeks because I firmly believe that one dose of Janice a week is simply not enough. As a matter of fact, two isn’t really enough either, but I fear that three might be akin to giving a diabetic a powdered donut – DEADLY. [...]

America’s Got Talent has officially become my summer television drug of choice. I want to be better than this show, than the Hoff, than the Reege and than Leonid the Magnificent, but I’m just not. In week two, America’s Got Talent gave us, in my opinion, one of the greatest television moments of the year [...]

So rumor on the street is that America’s got talent. Hmm. Well according to this Simon Cowell two hour season premiere, if America does have talent it’s well hidden. What America does have is balls. The balls to get up on stage in front of millions of people and dance with a donkey. What America [...]

All good things must come to an end, right? Now, don’t get your Aquaman underoos in a twist, Entourage isn’t ending; if anything this show is hitting its stride in a big way. However, it seems like the ordered chaos that these boys have gotten used to is coming under attack, with their old friend [...]

Whoa. Just when we thought that the biggest scandal to hit Ladder 62 this season was going to be Probie’s penchant for cuddle breaks with his Lumberjack roommate, Rescue Me hits us with an ending, that has already caused some stirring in LAST week’s comments page. Personally, I’m a little torn about what to actually [...]

This week’s Entourage gave us a front row seat into the messy world of box office numbers. It’s become a sport recently to predict how movies will do on their opening weekend. It’s also become something of a precursor to the fate of a film and/or box office star. So you can see why Ari [...]

“Teri Hatcher secured her place in America’s heart when she stood up to accept her Golden Globe for Best Actress and declared herself a “has-been” on national television. That moment showcased her down-to-earth, self-deprecating style — and her frank openness about the ups and downs she’s experienced in life and work.” -Amazon.com How is this [...]

After last week’s kick ass (literally) showdown between Tommy and his brother (Johnny, who has been sleeping with Tommy’s soon to be ex-wife Janet), you had to think that things were gonna slow down for our gang this week on Rescue Me. Well, you’d be right and wrong. Sure, no one’s head was put through [...]