Author: WaffleBoy

(Hi there Gasmi, last week we all had fun looking at Farrah Abraham’s LinkedIn page, and wouldn’t you know it, she is not the only D-List celebrity with a schadenfreude bonanza doubling as an online resume.  Today we will be looking at former Real Housewife of New York, Kelly Killoren Bensimon‘s page, and well let’s [...]

My dignity was here just a second ago

Hi there Gasmi, do you like celebrities? Of course you do, you’re an American.  Unless of course you’re not an American, in which case you probably do better on math tests, but struggle when it comes to eating unhealthy amount of deep fried food. Don’t feel bad, not everyone can eat 30 corn dogs in [...]

Val Kilmer weighs 180 pounds. That’s why it’s called fantasy people!

Hmm, Trailer Park yahoos, Satan and Nicolas Cage?Yes Please!

Tom Cruise tugs on the joystick (not in a dirty way)

Jason Statham has tons of empathy, and head nearly big enough to land a lunar module on.

All I’m saying is that if somebody had given this kid a catcher’s mitt, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

 **WaffleBoy predicts the Drama Weather on one of our fave shows, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Who will be back and who will get the axe?!  Lisa: she’ll be back. You can’t have this show without her. This is just as well as we’re probably not going to see season two of Vanderpump Rules. [...]

  (Hi there Gasmi, well it’s that time of the year, and love is in the air. No wait, that’s gas. I’m blaming the dog for that. Or I would be if I had a dog. Anyway today we are going to take a look at a few celebrity relationships, because I we have to [...]

(This week on Dear TvGasm  everyone’s favorite non-threatening first boy crush for people who are too old for One Direction, Justin Beiber is dealing with the growing pains of being a an aging teen pop star,  and in a completely fictitious way reaches out to Dear TvGasm for some of that wonderful non-asked for advice.)   Dear [...]

(Hi there Gasmi, if you’ve watched any of Top Chef so far this season you are aware that is a prolonged call for help. Or a four month long insulting money grab by Bravo and Magical Elves. Either way, it hasn’t been pretty, so let’s see what completely made up help for fictional problems we [...]

(Hi there Gasmii, This week on Dear TvGasm we have a wonderfully and completely fabricated sit down with semi-fictional character, Horrible Kyle Richards, and find out what exactly our little Kylebot is feeling this season in her own words. That’s right, unlike in season one when Kyle was having problems with Camille, and brought Faye [...]

(Hi, there Gasmi, there is a wonderful cyclical beauty in the world. Every Spring the flowers, bloom, every Fall, red and brown leaves rain from the trees, and about every six months, Taylor Swift burns through yet another celebrity boyfriend. Let’s check in for a complete fake, and completely ignorant discussion of some else’s love life) Dear [...]

(This week on Dear TvGasm we check in with America’s newest celebrity baby mama, Kim Kardashian. And as we all know when you see one Kardashian, you can just bet that more are going to show up. My mom says they breed in between the walls. Wait, that’s roaches. Anyway, let the completely fake and [...]

    Hi there Gasmi, just checking in to let you know that sometimes Christmas comes early, sometimes it comes on time, and occasionally it shows up a little late. If you are a fan of quality fug bucking nuts celebrity gossip, then the following is not only a late arriving X-Mass gift from US Magazine, but it’s [...]

(This week on Dear TvGasm we have our 1st annual Christmas Party where we invited all the fake celebrities who didn’t really ask us for advice during the year to ring in the Holidays in the most fictitious way possible.  This year all refreshments are courtesy of the Franzia that Flipit stole out of his mom’s garage. ) [...]

(This week Dear TvGasm takes a break from fake advice to horrible foreign accents,  to look at the state of America’s most precious tabloid resource, Lindsay Lohan.)   Hey there Gasmi, well it’s that time of the year, when people get stuck for ideas and start writing about things that happened weeks and months ago. Err, I [...]

Hi there, I noticed in my last post that some people were not happy with Fake Yolanda Foster’s German accent. Now I can understand how something can ruin a post for a reader, and I’d like to apologize for that. As for why it happened, well, just going by how Yolanda Foster sounded on the [...]

(Hi there Gasmi, did you have a good holiday? Well if you didn’t it’s on your own head. Honestly if you can’t deal with your family for one day even when you get to eat a minimum if three starches with your meal, and two types of pie afterwards, the blame starts shifting from them to [...]

(This week Dear TvGasm, your best source for completely spurious made up advice to TV celebrities who wouldn’t talk to us on a bet, checks in with the number one chef in America. Well the number one chef who can wolf down a chili dog in one bite, Guy Fieri)   Dear TvGasm, Corncob, it’s been [...]

(Dear TvGasm, your best source of fake unasked for advice for the people you see on your boob de toob has a very special guest this week, Kim Richards from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, And Kim, well words fail me. Let’s check in with our favorite housewife from the 90210 zip code)     [...]

(This week Dear TvGasm checks in with the kids at Boardwalk Empire. Everyone is trying to figure out a way for Donna Martin to graduate with the rest of her class. What? That’s Beverley Hills 90210? And that happened in 1993??? Wow I’m really falling behind on these things. So what’s this Boardwalk Empire about? [...]

(Hi Gasmii, and welcome to Pop Quiz, where we take a celebrity rumor, drop you into the middle of it and then ask what you would do in that situation. Remember there are no wrong answers, as long as you make an effort to judge a person you will probably never meet in your life.) [...]

Hey there Gasmii. By now you’ve probably all heard the news that Ashton Kutcher is the highest paid actor on TV, which is a bummer for all the fans of talent out there, but there is a silver lining that people keep ignoring. For all of us who always worried about going to hell, we [...]

(This week is the spirit of spoofiness, phony twitter conversations and possibly fake beefs, Dear TvGasm listens to the problems of American Idol’s Niki Minaj. Please be aware that we will take a break from out usual format, because Miz Nikki only comunicates by Twitter©) Because what could go wrong with this crew?      [...]

(This week Dear TvGasm checks in with Mama Manzo from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, who sounds a little under the weather.)   Dear TvGasm, ugh. I’m am done. I’ve had it with her, and her awful mean, trashy, lying , story selling ways. I’m done I tell you, done! Now you know me, [...]

This week the ladies of The Real Housewives of New York City ask Dear TvGasm for a little advice, vacation edict , trying to pop a baby out of the world’s dustiest uterus,and how to deal with Ramona, Sonja,Aviva, a complete frigging lunatic.   Dear TvGasm, I just thought I’d let you know that I’m still going [...]

NeNe can act?

Love is in the air. Wait that’s gas

(This week Dear TvGasm provides words of, well maybe not encouragement, but definitely has words for The Real Housewives of Orange County and the rumors that two of the current housewives may be getting fired.)   Dear TvGasm, well there’s no way Bravo would think about firing an accomplished actress such as myself, right? Signed, You [...]

( This week on Dear TvGasm we check in with the judges coming and going on American Idol) Well, whatever happens, we know that you can’t spell American Idol without Tink    Dear TvGasm, It’s like this zembomb daboody! Love the gig, but I’ve got to go back on the road. The millions of fans [...]

    Hey there Gasmi, reality shows are about personalities. Mainly because that way the producers don’t have to hire actors or writers and can better use that money on more important things: like questionable elective surgery, paying to have sex with people who are wildly more attractive then said producers, and/or buying things like Italian sports [...]

Helping Emily find the best fake relationship

(This week Dear TvGasm answers questions from some of the characters on the HBO show True Blood)   Dear TvGasm, I’m having a problem with a friend. Now the back story might take some time, but it helps to understand my problem.  Okay, awhile back I got kind of friendly with this guy who works [...]

The Real Housewives, in their own words

Some advice for what the Jersey Shore Cast should do when the series ends

These women have problems, and we’re here to point them out

Dear TvGasm has a heart to heart with Bethenny Frankel