I have to assume that jumping into the water without any kind of surfactant would just make them wet and sticky. But I’ve never swum in the Dominican Republic. Maybe their water is special. Or maybe these people are just really, really slippery.

This week’s episode includes 2 bonus angst montages.

Everybody knows slavery produces the best abs.

Good afternoon, everyone. Just wanted to thank y’all for giving me such a warm welcome to the ‘Gasm. I’ve been [...]

Find out what happened to last week’s unfinished tattoo!

This week on the Jersey Shore…. Danny is sick and tired of the housemates dicking off at work, and with Vinny [...]

I do not want your slut muffins, Bree Van de Kamp!

Ice cream challenge. Fat people unite!

The final Quick n’ Dirty of the season!

When Snow’s lost she can look and she will find James…..

Fat-ass pre-teens!

Jobless Grayson takes on Daddy Tom over some chicken-salad!

A diabolical conveyor belt and a visit from that scary-ass Charlize Theron in makeup!

  I wonder who’s bright idea it was to hold auditions in Aspen? It doesn’t make much sense when you think [...]

It’s Deliverance meets Law and Order SVU!

Brooding isn’t as sexy as monsters think.

We don’t call him Randelicious for nothing, babe. He’s hot, and he knows that all Chelsea’s moping will not unfuck this situation.

Beyond Salon is turned around, and in the process two employees get the ole’ heave-ho.

Honey is surprisingly slippery.

Ah, a face only a mother could love. Welcome to Alcatraz episode 3, Gasmii! As I mentioned in the minicap, this [...]

I’ve lost that loving feeling.

Bring it on! Okay, so last night I went to see Joan Rivers and came home a little buzzed (drunk) on [...]

Renee declares war on crumbs. Karen makes an ass of herself.

Tabs is back to kicking a-s and taking names!

Well folks I guess LA got sick of the BGC because now they have been banished to Las Vegas! I’m [...]

Last week’s episode we were introduced to the 10 artists competing for $100,000 and the title of Ink Master. The [...]

***We’ve finally found you the perfect Biggest Loser recapper. Please welcome MollyMcDark to the gasm!  Yayyyy…what an awesome assignment…The Biggest Loser! [...]

This is what happens when pork gets pissed!

A mother and son tear each others’ throats out…in Greek!

Part One in my series, ‘Why My Children Aren’t Allowed to Act.’ Furrr REALZ – can you imagine letting some random [...]

Pretty people problems.

American Idol finally made it to that hidden gem of America, Pittsburgh.  We get a close up of someone who [...]

The Bachelor on tour brings Ben and his ladies to Park City, Utah where Ben will take the girls on [...]

The season ends with a hanger

In which Pauly has a happy birthday, and Mike does not.

 ****Please welcome SnoopK8 as your new Dance Moms recapper! She was just assigned, so the future episodes will be posted [...]

Wow, so much for “the love” huh, Gasmii? After the love fest of an almost Karen/CousinSuckUp free episode last week, [...]

He’s leaving, in a midnight cab to Staten Island

A delivery tuck is robbed, the driver is killed, Rachel has a baby, and Locke finally reveals Shelbourn.

R.I.P., Edie Britt. You’re up in heaven now, giving crabs to Benjamin Franklin.