Tonight, on Survivor: dentists throughout the world cringe. We open on what seems to be the beginnings of an [...]

This week, on Survivor: Jalapao does me a solid. Thanks, guys!Timbira, Night 9. Coach gets the first [...]

You’ve got something on your face, there. This week, on Survivor: Coach is a turd.After last week’s vote, Erinn bandies about [...]

This week, on Survivor: Girlfight!It’s Night 3 at Jalapao. With their newly acquired flint, the tribe attempts to start [...]

Yeah, she is endlessly screencappable.The Earth! Wild Horses! Soccer stadiums, complete with riotous fans who beat each other senseless! [...]

Long time, no see, bitches! Survivor begins anew on Thursday, and your trusty Schoonie is here to provide you [...]

I know! I was surprised too.Jeff congratulates Bob, and notifying him of his status as “oldest winner ever”. [...]

Tonight, on Survivor: Lots of bitterness! Lots of sweetness! And lost those other two types of taste [...]

Tonight, on Survivor: “Wah wah wah, I’m good, you’re evil.” Um, no, you’re not.Nobag, Night 33. Matty is [...]

This week on Survivor: Kenny does something stupid and Bob makes the most insane fake idol ever.It’s night 30 at [...]

Okay, so Sugar might be sort of awesome. We are back to Nobag (and no, I will not be making any [...]

This week, on Survivor: People referring to themselves in the third person. References to “keeping it real”. Unfortunate [...]

This week on Survivor: Crystal is surprisingly not terrible. I know! We begin at Kota on Night 21. [...]

This week, on Survivor: Kota wins again. It’s very lather/rinse/repeat, except with Fang it’s more like choke/scream/repeat.We begin at [...]

This week on Survivor: the reward challenge pretty much dares you to “That’s What She Said” your television. After [...]

This week, on Survivor: GC continues to find new and interesting ways to quit. That’s tough to do, you [...]

Fumbling around for grammar in the dark is hard! This week, on Survivor: Terribly Designed Challenges! Ineptitude! The Ranking [...]

This week on Survivor, people get the crap beat out of each other, rock a slip and slide, and are [...]

Hey everyone. It’s time for Survivor again! After an excellent season of Big Brother this summer, I won’t [...]

Well, didn’t really see that coming. Returning from the equal parts totally awesome and totally disappointing Erik boot, the four girls [...]

Aaaaaand James can officially pass the dunce cap to Erik. We begin post Tribal Council, where Amanda is trying to do [...]

Lesson One: Do not try to steal Amanda’s boyfriend. She will make you pay.We begin tonight right after the [...]

Dumbest move in Survivor history? Probably still with James. But dumbest Survivor contestant ever? Yeah, probably Jason.We [...]

Am I the only one who thought this wasn’t really going to happen? Okay, so this season is now officially awesome. Back [...]

Hey, a good episode! Imagine that. Not sunk yet. Back from the overly long and uncomfortable Ami tribal council, Ozzy tells [...]

We come back with Malakal from the Tribal Council where Tracy was voted out, and Ozzy is in a particularly [...]

Previously, on Survivor, Jonathan’s knee was about to fall off, so he left. But Chet had an ouchie on [...]

We actually start at Airai this time, where Jason is whining about Mikey begin gone. Frankly, as long as [...]

This week, on Survivor: Tracy is totally awesome. Finally, someone to like!The day after the Yau-Man Tribal Council, [...]

This week, on Survivor: Cirie makes me dislike a bunch of people that I used to think were awesome. [...]

IS IT SAFE TO COME OUT NOW? So, you’re probably wondering where the Survivor recaps have been. The answer is: she [...]

Hey everyone! Good to be back. It’s time for Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites and Jonny Fairplay. [...]

It’s finale time! You know what that means: ridiculous amounts of filler. After the Peih-Gee TC, the Final [...]

It’s cool, I’ll just go wait over there on the jury.After the tribal council, Denise gives us a little recap [...]

Which one is Hall and which one is Oates again? It’s easy to confuse the two.Everyone returns from Tribal Council relieved [...]

So, I’m sorry for the late recap on this completely awesome episode of Survivor, but I am part of the [...]

This week on Survivor, Probst falls in man-love with James. Also, James eats enough to feed the current population of [...]

Seriously, is there anyone who knows what they’re doing this season? I’m starting to think maybe…no. Back from the last [...]

This week, on Survivor, it’s time for the merge. Also, they steal liberally from Big Brother, which means that [...]

This week on Survivor, I get the recap up before the Third World War. No, seriously. Look! BTW, you [...]