OMG, these kids suck balls!  BALLS! Well, if this Toddlers & Tiaras episode doesn’t show the sorry state of our country, [...]

Miss Sugar Plum pageant brings us nose-picking and favorites-picking

Wow, there was A LOT of nose-picking in this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras. There must be a dearth of [...]

Rock Star Divas and Dolls

Hello Gasmii!  Ready for another episode of Toddlers & Tiaras?  This one chilled me out from last week, man did [...]

Annette Hill and her amped-on-energy-drink high

If I ran away, would anybody really notice? Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love this show!  This week’s episode of Toddlers & [...]

The Southern Celebrity Mini-Nationals!

The REAL Chicago Supreme Title goes to… Pageant Director Maxine and Emcee Betty are done with their margaritas and are bringing [...]

Indiana!

They are kids, not candy. We head to Indianapolis for the “Circle City Stars & Cars” pageant that includes [...]

Interview with a pageant vampire.

Hey Gasmii, we meet some new kids this week and overall they were pretty good kids, we did have an [...]

Showdown!

Hello Gasmii! The premier of Toddlers & Tiaras does not disappoint – except a couple of mothers! This episode [...]

Rodeo Princess pageant in Bridgeport, West Virginia! Yee-ha!

Back in the south where these clusterf#ck pageants belong!

Athens, Ohio…my home state!

Groovy girls take the stage

Mardi Gras pageant held in Darien, Georgia.

A couple of kids we haven’t seen for awhile

Mr Todd brings us Fancy Faces!

Texas beauty

We have bratty, bitchy, crazy and wasteful, and those are NOT dwarves.

Is that really a talent or just something she could do at a side-show?

No unruly children, bad manners, crazy mothers or drama. Snore!

Winter Beauty pageant in Center, Texas

We’re back South where pageants belong!

Miss Margie is back and badasser than ever!

Jonesboro, Arkansas. Yeeee-ha!

Pageant director luxuriates in stolen money.

None of us is as smart as all of us, and we’re all ‘tarded.

Back with one of the most psychotic children in reality history.

Normal, psycho, and too much money, those are our three mother choices on the season finale of Toddlers & Tiaras. [...]

YAY! Barbara Mandrell look-a-like Andrea “Get Off” McClaws is back as pageant co-director for this season’s penultimate episode of [...]

First a shout-out to Flipit for handling last week’s Toddlers & Tiaras and for making me do numerous spit-takes while [...]

This week on Toddlers and Tiaras, judge rigging! Giant hair on tiny bodies!! The most adorable serial killer ever born! I [...]

Toddlers & Tiaras is back with a vengeance, people! The glitz! The glamour! The obnoxiously bratty kids [...]

Hello Gasmii, we’re back to normal with this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras with bratty kids, crazy mothers, and winners [...]

This episode of Toddlers & Tiaras takes place in Sin City, Las Vegas, where we are joining the Universal Miss [...]