Toddlers and Tiaras
Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Mele Kalikimaka and Coconut Knockers!

Aloha Gasmii! This luau of Toddlers & Tiaras comes straight from Honolulu, Hawaii, host of the “America’s Fabulous Faces” [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Tanner or Skidmark? You Be the Judge!

Hello Gasmii, welcome back to another episode of Toddlers & Tiaras! This episode takes us to the Miss [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Hard to believe, but this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras takes the cake. A cake topped with rhinestones and [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Karma’s a Bitch and So Are You!

This week’s Toddlers & Tiaras brings us back to the heart of our country, West Virginia for the YEEE-HAAA! [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers and Tiaras: Bang! Bang! Your Pageant Career is Dead!

Back for more, are ya? After last week’s total and complete El Niño shitstorm of comments, we need to [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: The Crazy is So, So Satisfying!

This week’s Toddlers & Tiaras is the “Beautiful Dolls” pageant in Lafayette, North Carolina and Gasmii, the crazy is BACK! [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Bring Back the Brats!

This week on Toddlers & Tiaras we shift gears (and coasts) to the California Gold Coast Pageant. Pageant Director [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: I’ve Got Your Glitz Right Here

This week’s Toddlers & Tiaras is being hosted at the Bradley International Airport Sheridan hotel in Hartford, Connecticut, so you [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

In the words of my hero Stewie Griffith, dammit to the bowels of bottomless hell! I don’t like recapping [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Your Kid is a Brat and That’s A Fact of Life!

Gasmii, this show NEVER gets old. After last week’s complete and total smackdown of a mom, this week we’re [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Mommy Has a Favorite and It Isn’t You!

Gasmii! Toddlers & Tiaras is back with a vengeance as is Crabby’s irritation with the world at large, mostly [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Darling Divas and the Women Who Judge Them Harshly

Hello Gasmii! If you’ve been watching, and judging by the comments you have, you know most of our Toddlers [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

“Pageants can be very addictive. Once you start winning, there’s no turning back,” says one mother on this episode [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Snowstorms Just Make the Tiaras Sparkle More!

Welcome to the Stars of Pennsylvania Pageant, located in Pittsburgh, for this week’s Toddlers & Tiaras. Not only are [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: The Retirement of a Semi-Legend

Gasmii, I never get tired of Toddlers & Tiaras even though it’s sort of the same one each week. [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: My Old Kentucky Throw-Down

Well, not really. We open this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras with pageant director Aimee Adkins telling us that [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Chitlin’ Strut: Pigs Intestines as Beauty Pageant

Gasmii, what can I say? This week’s Toddlers & Tiara’s pageant is the Chitlin’ Strut and I actually had [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Don’t Look at the Train Wreck! I said DON’T!

Sweet, merciful, crap! Just when you think it can’t get any worse, they whip out false teeth for kids [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: How Hard is it to Add, Morons?

Hello Gasmii, here we are again, with children competing like racehorses only with more fecal matter. This week we [...]


Toddlers and Tiaras

Toddlers & Tiaras: Hos in Training

Hello Gasmii, Dear Crabby here! You may know me from such recaps as Ugly Betty: Ruined by ABC [...]