Teen Mom: Get Your VD On

31 Comments

1. 1
   Anne McGill
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 1:57 pm

   Farrah was my least fav, until I saw some of the season two opener. Farrah’s Mom was arrested for assaulting her. She hit Farrah in the face and it required stitches. Apparentley she also refused to put down two big knives she was holding and came close to being shot by police. So Farrah has a very good reason to keep Sophia away from Gramma.

   Gramma also was almost happy, when Sophia’s Dad was killed in a car crash because tha means “one less problem”.

   I’m giving Farrah a little credit for surviving a physical and verbally abusive parent. That’s the second time her Mom has hit her , except the first time was on camera. Time to get a restraining order for Farrah and make it permanent. I suspect Gramma is also a substance abuser, I’m thinking alcohol.

2. 2
   Imnotthere
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 4:39 pm

   RE: Amber, Don’t forget, Gary was a “Number 1 Draft Pick”!

   Farrah and her mother sound so much alike, if she isn’t careful, she is going to turn out just like her mom. I would like to know where Bravo or the production company who tapes these episodes draws the line on ethics. Leaving Sophia unattended in that sink is reckless endangerment. I was disgusted by all who were involved in filming this and am surprised Child Protective Services has not stepped in. On the previous episode when Farrah was moving into her new apartment she left Sophia in her car seat outside her apartment door for what appeared an extended period of time. Farrah needs to realize that baby is her responsibility 100% of the time.

   We also believe that April runs a meth lab. She looked very “butch” in the prior episode to the degree that I thought she was Butch!

3. 3
   butterball115
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 6:23 pm

   I absolutely adore Maci and Bentley. She really is a stand up mom, and I’m glad that she is finally taking some time for herself. (Since she is essentially raising Bentley on her own). Also I’m glad that she took the initiative to take Ryhan (haha) to court for child support. Her family seems really level headed and supportive too. I think those two are going to be juuust fine.

   Catelynn and Tyler are actually pretty mature for their age for what they have faced. I have a child of my own and it’s heartbreaking to watch what they are going through. I teared up when Tyler told the other father “It was hard for me to realize that Carly deserved better than me” (or something close to that). I really hope they can work things out between the two because they seem like a good match. (And with their parents together that might make for an awkward breakup!)

   Amber and Gary…it’s hard for me not to fast forward through this portion of the show. Amber is clearly violent and passive/agressive toward Gary, and it’s usually in front of Leah. Add that with some financial instability, infedelity, and general stupidity, and I worry for that little girl.

   Farrah has definitely been the most controversial thus far. In the past seasons I thought she was such a brat toward her mother- who was essentially raising Sophia. The more we need of the family seems to unravel some more mysteries. Obviously Farrah didn’t get to how she is on her own- parenting had something to do with that. I obviously don’t condone physical violence, and her mom was way out of line (pyschological issues much?) I’m getting more and more fed up with her mother- she speaks so mild mannerly yet her words are just laced with vitriol. It’s obvious she enjoys making Farrah dependent upon her so she can hold that over her head to see Sophia. And how incredibly heartbreaking to have the father die! I really feel for Farrah- as much of a brat as she can be.

   Thanks for the recap! This was a pleasant surprise for my Sunday!

4. 4
   chemgal
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 6:52 pm

   catch me up as I’m not an every episode watcher. Last year, did Amber attack Gary and then her father was involved and told Gary to go away – condoned Amber’s attack. She was pissed because her piece of shit car didn’t work and he wouldn’t run right out and get her?

5. 5
   chemgal
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 6:57 pm

   AND people should have to take an IQ test before being allowed to name their children. Unless your kid is going to live a sheltered life that only a multi-millioned dollar parental bank account can provide, don’t give your kid a name like Bentley, Apple, Zuma or nevaeh! When I hear someone yell “Nevaeh” (heaven backwards) I don’t even need to look, I can tell immediately what mom and/or dad look like. And if anyone thinks I’m just being mean because you have a relative and or zygote named that, read Freakonomics and neveah is a name statistically proven to impede success in life.

6. 6
   Sweet_Dee
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 7:51 pm

   “He has that “he’s not retarded, but I’m pretty sure one of his parents is” look.”

   Congratulations, Nerdia: you just made my list of favorite recappers with this line! Top 5, even!

7. 7
   sarcasatire
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 8:18 pm

   @chemgal.. The only Naveah I ever heard of was a skinny white chick on Flavor of Love and it was a stage name, because she wanted to be a singer. I’ve never met/seen anyone with this name personally, I’m curious if whether you have, either. I sometimes agree that parents set their kids up for failure with crazy-ass names, (recently a child was taken into foster care after it was discovered his parents named him Adolf Hitler). However, as a comedian once said, when you look at the two most powerful women in America, named Oprah Lucrecia Winfrey and Condaleeza Shameka Rice..you have to wonder, what’s in a name?

8. 8
   sarcasatire
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 8:34 pm

   @chemgal. The Amber/Gar incident last years was that she kicked Gary out of the house and he went to live with his mom. This particular evening she was at her dad’s apt and Gary came over. She was being a brat and felt like Gary said something smart to her her dad so she attacked Gary. She explained on the reunion show that is was because her dad is dying of cirrhosis of the liver that she felt protective and upset by Gary’s tone.

   Catelynn/Tyler: Part of me wonders if they would heal better if they no longer did the show. It’s like they have to keep reliving everything via the producer’s off-camera interviewing and staged ‘scrapbooking’ scenes and such. PLus, coupled with the fact that as open as the adoption is, the adoptive parents only make contact on their terms and have given them very little personal info; not even their last name.

9. 9
   sarcasatire
   Posted August 8, 2010 at 8:40 pm

   “He has that “he’s not retarded, but I’m pretty sure one of his parents is” look.”

   Haha..my brother call that ‘trailer-park face.’

   Super-funny recap, Nerdia..welcome aboard!!

10. 10
    Anne McGill
    Posted August 8, 2010 at 8:57 pm

    I don’t think Amber gets a free pass to hit Gary every time she’s upset. Imagine growing up and seeing that behavior.

    I agree Farrah is not attentive to her daughter. She’s reckless and it will be a miracle if Sophia doesn’t get hurt. But who does she have to help her? She can’t trust her family. I hope someone gives her much needed parenting advice before Sophia really hurts herself. Maybe when she grows up, she can teach Farrah what to do, they are not that far apart in age.

11. 11
    sarcasatire
    Posted August 8, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    @Anne: I wasn’t giving Amber a free pass if that last comment was directed towards me. (if not, ignore me. ) Chemgal wanted to be brought up to speed regarding the situation and I gave a brief summary of events, ‘is all.

12. 12
    chemgal
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 5:41 am

    @sarcasatire A big thank you for the background. And yes, in the hillbilly part of New England that I live nevaeh is commonly heard being yelled in a Marlboro tinged voice. Usually said kid is running around in a soggy, sagging diaper with dirt caked on the dried boogers left on their faces. Dad usually has pants hanging very low on his hips, a trucker cap turned a bit sideways and may even have a few good teeth. Mom is usually 60 to 100 pounds overweight, with frizzy hair pulled back and is either yelling at dad, yelling at new boyfriend (soon to be father of the next planned accident), yelling at some girl on the phone she thinks looked at either of the above, yelling at her mama on the phone, or yelling at her kids.

    I know you were not excusing Amber’s behavior, so the following is not directed at you, its just a general observation. Regardless of her reasoning, even as a “30-faux” year old, I remember that scene left me upset and in fact, I think that was the primary reason I stopped tuning in. Raising children, particularly when done right, is a very stressful process. It is very time consuming and you spend a lot of your time trying to be one step ahead of them both mentally as well as physically. She does not handle stress or adversity well and I worry about what the child will see or what she herself might experience.

13. 13
    ohralphie
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 6:35 am

    why all the adoption hate? Take one look at Amber and Farrah and tell me what chance their daughters have? And it is a such a shame. Little Leah is the cutest toddler but I see nothing but a life of dysfunction, screaming and poverty for her.
    Truthfully I foresee childrens services getting involved with amber and gary within the next five years. So damn sad.

14. 14
    classy drunk
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 7:10 am

    @ohralphie, Did you mean adoption hate in general? I do not think that people are hating on Catelynn and Tyler’s decision to adopt. I think what most people are opposed to is that they haven’t had time to heal and are on a show where they continually have to discuss the child that they never get to see.

15. 15
    chemgal
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 7:46 am

    classy drunk summed it up perfectly. These kids are too young and immature to handle this decision in the public spotlight. They themselves seem to come from dysfunctional backgrounds so they are even less able to handle it then teens who have a good support system. As a high school teacher, I don’t think there are many kids who can handle being good parents, sure there are exceptions, but in general most lack the decision making skills and self sacrifice brought about by age and maturity necessary to be good parents (then again, so do a lot of adults) I wish their parents and society encouraged more of them to put their children up for adoption. Those same parents and society make “parenting” too easy for teenagers. From watching it happen, I can tell you most of them don’t see much of a change in their lives. They still go to school, dances, prom, dates, parties because mom, dad, siblings and grandparents pick up all the duties for them.

16. 16
    ohralphie
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 8:11 am

    I was referring to nerdias comments about ‘baby merchant’……don’t get me wrong – Nerdia is funny and I’ll enjoy reading her and I do know that everyone and everything will get blasted here at some point or another..it’s just that of all the babys on Teen Mom tyler and catelynns has the best chance of growing up happy and well adjusted. And of all the teen moms, catelynn is the best mom of the lot to actually think what is better for her child, and not easiest for herself.
    Still and all – great recap Nerdia. Next time make it longer,please?

17. 17
    chemgal
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 8:42 am

    Nerdia is right though about them being baby merchant. I have a number of friends trying to adopt and in the end unless they were willing to pay through the nose for a private adoption – most of the fees are “legal” in nature since you can’t legally sell a baby, so they figure out some way to whitewash the money. Agencies have such incredible standards to be met; one set of my friends got rejected because there was a depression in their backyard and water may have collected in it causing a drowning hazard – it was a normal depression that almost everyone has in their yard/lawn. All of my friends went overseas to adopt – it was more affordable. Someone in America is getting rich off of adoptions and it isn’t the kids/moms giving up their kids.

18. 18
    ohralphie
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 11:47 am

    Yeah I agree with that. My dh and I adopted internationally as well.
    Catelynn and Tyler were so mature and made such an agonizing choice that I do feel protective over them. Adoption is better for the baby (ask poor Leah in about 15 years) but it is not an ‘easy’ way out, emotionally. I know that this is a satire site and its all in (pretty much) good fun – but they suffered so much it’s almost like kicking a blind three legged dog, you know what I mean?

19. 19
    sarcasatire
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    ohralphie: Exactly. And they will continue suffering as long as cameras are in their face and they have to keep discussing it ad naseum. I think they shouldn’tve done the 2nd season. The storyline doesn’t change, Carly’s still adopted, they’re still suffering, their married parents are still junkies, so what’s the point?
    Oh, and adoption is only better…when the kids actually get adopted. Imagine those put up for adoption that never get to have loving families. I’m sure they’d take a screaming mommy/absent daddy over 18 yrs of foster care any day.

    (No longer to @ohralphie)
    Adoption is so tricky. My uncles (married gay coupled) adopted for the 1st time 2 years ago. It was private adoption, they’d been trying for years and finally welcomed a son into their home. The mom was great and they were beyond thrilled. However, you know about that 60-day ‘window’? Well, on day 59, the father shows up and says he wants his son. So the child is snatched out of their loving home, leaving their hearts broken.

    They decided to try again. This time, optiong for open adoptions because then the moms/parents can choose the family, making it less likely they will change their mind. They met a mother of three, pregnant with twins, whose husband suddenly died. She could care for 5 children alone so made the painful choice of adoption. She chose them and they adopted beautiful twins girls, taking them straight home from the hospital. They have a great relationship with the twins’ birth mom and go to see her and their siblings every few months. And they are such great parents, I am beyond happy that it all worked out in the end.

20. 20
    sarcasatire
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    *she couldn’t care for five children*, it should say..

21. 21
    chemgal
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    @sarcasatire, so glad things worked out for you uncles. Adoption is a messed up business in this country. There are so many families willing and able to give good homes to kids and they can’t because they usually can’t afford it or the parameters are so screwed up. Until we stop looking at kids as property and just because you push them out they “belong” to drug users, abusers and other low lifes we will continue to have willing and able families without kids and kids who go into the system too late to be adoptable. Now with more evidence coming out supporting (Voltaire’s???) theory of show me the child at 8 and I’ll show you the man – people are going to be less willing to adopt older kids.

22. 22
    Baxter
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    Yeah so excited you are doing this recap! I love this show. I think it is the most “real” reality show on tv. I have heard critics of this show say it promotes teen pregnancy. I highly doubt anyone that has actually watched it would agree. If anything it shows how incredibly hard it is. Even as a 31 yr old woman, this show makes me question myself to make sure I’m completely ready for kids.

    All of the stories break my heart. There are so many things these girls will never get to experience because of their choices. Yes motherhood is a gift but your teens and early twenties are such a fantastic time.

    This season with Farrah really opened my eyes. Last season she seemed like such a spoiled brat but you get where she is coming from. I think her mom is toxic. Her family just seems like such a sad group of people.

    Amber and Gary are also pretty sad. Gary seems like such a slug and Amber is really aggressive. I also worry for their little girl.

    I love Catelynn and Tyler. They seem like great kids. I just want to hug both of them. They made such a hard decision and watching them live with their choice is heartbreaking. Even if it was for the best it is still difficult.

    Maci is awesome. She will do well in life. The obvious big difference with her is she has such a great support system with her parents.

    chemgal- COMPLETELY agree with you about the names. I am a corporate recruiter for a large company and when I forward resumes to managers that have crazy names 9 times out of 10 they won’t even look at it. Sad but true.

23. 23
    Baxter
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    sarcasatire- I am so happy for your uncles! It sounds like everything worked out how it was supposed to.

24. 24
    ohralphie
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    @sarcasatire — glad your uncles finally found their happy ending. The same thing happened to my aunt and uncle two times – they paid for pre natal care plus rent plus whatever then the mom changed her mind. It almost bankrupted them. Birth mothers should always be able to change their minds, but there ought to be some kind of protection against ‘scams’ as well.

    I do have to point out that the kids in foster care are not up for adoption — at least not initially. The function of foster care is to reunify the meth addicted/pedophile/abusive parents with their offspring. After attempts fail multiple times are those kids available to adopt. By then, possible adoptive parents are wary of adopting an older child who has been through hell. It is beyond sad that those most in need of a loving home are the very ones people are afraid to take a chance on. (due to things like RAD).

25. 25
    sarcasatire
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    I’m aware that foster children are often not up for adoption but placed in foster care with the hopes of reuniting the children back with their parents. However, where do children who are put up for adoption, yet not yet adopted, go? Are they not placed with temporary families or do they live in orphanages?

26. 26
    Lisa
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    I am so glad someone is finally recapping this.
    #1. Maci- love Maci and sooo happy she is finally sticking it to that ridiculous excuse for a man – Ryan – by sticking him with child support. Ryan is horrible and I hope she goes after his parents for child support if Ryan doesn’t pay it.
    #2. Gary and Amber – Your description of Gary was accurate. If Amber would learn to control her anger, she could find something better. It is so funny how Gary finds everything at Wal-Mart. He got her engagement ring at Wal-Mart last year for $20 and this year he found another woman there.
    #3. Caitlyn- SHE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG! It is ridiculous the way her boyfriend is going on about a ex boyfriend who was her boyfriend THREE YEARS AGO! Before Caitlyn got together with Tyler!!
    #4. Farrah- yes, poor Farrah, leaves the baby out in the hall of the apartment complex, then lets the baby scald herself with hot water, and does not have a clue that anything is wrong.

27. 27
    Reiray
    Posted August 9, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    @Lisa: LOL- I loved how you pointed out Gary finds everything at Walmart! If he could lose all his weight from eating at Walmart he could be their Jarred (from Subway)! Although I think Tyler seemed more irritated not because she slept with the ex boyfriend but that she lied about it- and then lied again about not contacting him.

28. 28
    Bridget Miller
    Posted August 10, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    Great start to recapping especially since you gave us some humorous and witty insight into show and didn’t just do a play by play of the show. But could it be possible to add just a little more meat to the recap? I only bring this up because I liked what you wrote. The description of Gary was hilarious and spot on.

    I so want to write Caitlyn and Tyler a letter about what an intelligent choice they made. I can’t imagine what a difficult choice that was, but it was in the best interest of their child and they showed a ton of emotional maturity by giving their child up for adoption. Being on the show doesn’t seem to be in their best interest because, as other people have pointed out, they have to keep talking about and reliving their choice.

    Farrah is a fucking disaster. She is completely un-attentive to Sophia and I imagine the dysfunction of that family is going to carry over to the next generation. It was painful to watch her leave Sophia outside of her apartment. All I could think about is all the sick fucks in the world and how easily it would have been for someone to kidnap Sophia. I hope that she learns something from watching herself on television. I wish that these girls were forced to take a class on mothering or to get some therapy.

    This is a hard show to watch because some of these babies just ended up in bad situations. There are some people in this world that just shouldn’t have children or at least waited until they are older. I do wonder if a show like this does encourage other teenagers to have children?

    Television has been shown to have influence people to believe that the real world is reflected on the show that they watch. Even though the show highlights the difficulties of being a teenage mom- it also rewards these teens for having kids. It makes it seem like being a teen mom is an acceptable choice to make. While it is has become a normal part of American life, it is not a choice to be taken lightly and it shouldn’t be rewarded.

    I am not surprised that being a teen mom has become reality show fodder. There is a show about women on death row. No subject is out of bounds anymore even if it should be.

29. 29
    MichyPR
    Posted August 11, 2010 at 10:45 am

    I am so glad that somebody is recapping this show, great job Nerdia! As far as the girls go, my favorite is definitely Maci, she seems like she has a good head on her shoulders and is a great mom, always putting Bentley first. For the guys, Tyler is my favorite and I have to say that I think he can do better than Catelynn, underneath it all she seems manipulative, at least imho and this is a case where I think he’s actually more mature than she is. I HATE HATE HATE! Gary, he is such a lazy slob, not that I think Amber is a prize either but I can see why she wants to hit him all the time, what I don’t understand is why she would want to marry him. And finally Farrah, I really think CPS needs to step in, that girl is too dumb to take care of herself, let alone a baby. As for the incident with her mother, not that I condone violence, but judging by the way she talks to her parents, if it were me I think I would’ve smacked her in the mouth long ago. I can’t imagine me telling my mom to shut the fuck up or anything like that because you’d better believe that will earn me a slap across the face. I was raised to respect my parents and my elders, something that apparently she doesn’t believe in. While hitting her so hard that she needed stitches is excessive, I’m sure a lot of us were raised in a way that we got a few smacks in our lifetime and we turned out ok. I think that society is too protective of kids nowadays. I saw a news report a while ago where a girl was disrespectful to her grandmother so the grandma slapped her, the girl called the police, and grandma went to jail. When are people gonna realize that most of the time “timeouts” don’t work. Oh and I also think Farrah’s mother might be on something but I’m gonna go with prescription pills.

30. 30
    Mimi
    Posted August 12, 2010 at 8:22 am

    i’m sorry but i have to disagree about tyler. i think he’s wrong in his stupid argument over a guy that was from her PAST. he’s feeling guilt over not being able to be a “man” and take care of his “mistake” and he’s taking it out on catlyn (sp?). i believe he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and he’s grasping at straws and trying to put the blame on her. as if she’s to blame for all his troubles. pfft!

31. 31
    PhotoByFriend
    Posted August 22, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    Nerdia,

    Please do not stop. I can’t recall laughing my ass off like this in a long time! You hit the nail on the head with your comments and any non-bleeding heart would agree.