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Baby shower! Take this yarn and try to guess her belly girth. Siiigh. Why does the misconception persist that that’s fun? Pleeease don’t play the melted-candy-in-diapers game. Baby clothes and boobie pads and awwwing abound. Devon doesn’t want to feel a thing during the birth.
37 weeks! Devon threw up at school and thinks maybe she’d be better off getting her GED. She goes to help yet another Megan get ready for homecoming. Drinkers, knock one back every time a Megan asks the mom if she thinks she’s missing out on something. In spite of myself, I think the Megan’s getup is kind of cute. I’m a sucker for patent leather accents.
38 weeks. Cook, Pa Ingalls, cook! Colin goes to the Army recruiter and might re-enlist, but the whole war thing gives him pause. Devon rightly (again) points out that having a house is pointless if he’s not in it. She says this in voiceover, when she should be saying it to him.
40 weeks. Contraction time! Party in Devon’s hospital room! How many Megans does it take to birth a baby? She waits 9 hours for the epidural. Hmph. 12 hours. Pushing.
Well hello there, Highway to Heaven! What a cute furrowed brow you have! Is it because you also hate the treacly song with which they introduce you? Colin appears to be a hands-on dad, and he shuts up about the house for a bit. Landon has a monkey-butt sleeper. I think it’s Carter’s. Landon wakes up a lot; Colin would prefer not to. Landon has tons of cute stuff. The new family feels cramped in the house, especially since no one does their own dishes.
This time it’s Devon who suggests a new house, and Colin beams. But his paycheck will be gone! Again: A. Part. Ment. And be sure to spend that down payment on some dining out! In a restaurant, Devon compares notes with her sister, who eats the very-hard-to-make-at-home club sandwich with the crusts cut off.
Realtor and mortgage broker meeting. They’ve got $125K to spend. Colin is pleased. In the next scene, he’s talking about buying “more than an acre.” Hahahahaha, not even in this economy, bud. Their realtor takes them to a house they can’t afford, and they don’t fire him. Possibly he’s still trying to locate one they can afford.
Roller rink. Holy damn, I’m bored. Devon is happy to be able to bend forward and stuff again. She tells her Megans about the houses, which we already knew about.
Oof! Colin gets laid off. Welcome to adulthood, brah. I don’t mean to be callous. I can relate, but seriously dude, you have a roof over your head, child care is probably free, and I think you have some army money coming in. It’s still crushing, I know, but at least you didn’t already sign a contract and buy the house. That? Would blow exquisitely.
Colin’s been job hunting for two weeks. Two weeks!?! And nothing yet!?!? I’m sorry, what planet and year do these people live on/in? Do they not watch the news? Do they not know there are grown folks out of work for years, and probably hundreds of thousands more who are making way below what they’re worth? Do the producers coach these moms to do these petulant voiceovers? Can somebody coach them to have more gratitude? After Sarah last week, with the useless dick of a BD, a mom we never see go to work at all, and a similar space issue, I just can’t scare up much sympathy. The realtor can’t take them house hunting anymore. AAAAPAAAARTMENNNNNT.