16 and Pregnant Recap: Home Is Where the Hurt Is

Really, Rebecca is a champ. She steps up and watches Audrey so Sabrina can get her homework done. This is huge. Maybe she felt her efforts weren’t appreciated, hence her later actions? Or she really didn’t know how her later actions would affect her sister… no, I don’t buy that. Becks, you’ll have all your life to be a babydaddy, seriously.

Sabrina worries that if she just tells Iman to forget it and stay in LA, it will have a negative effect on Audrey. And Sabrina will get blamed for it.

Daddy who?

Audrey’s a month old, and still no Iman. Okay, there we go, was that so hard? They narrate each passing week of their pregnancy but they can’t stop to voice over “it’s been a month”? Meh. I have to say, I’d be skeptical if I were her family, too. But I also see where she’s coming from – not wanting to risk her and her daughter falling permanently out of touch with the only babydaddy they have. Well, the only biological male sperm-contributing one.

Sabrina’s about to go back to school, but the school daycare is full! Think about that for a second. It’s good they have school daycare at all. Possibly that’s why she moved to Tennessee? Do a lot of schools do that now? She eats lunch (out, natch) with a still-emotive Amanda, who tells her to move on – she doesn’t know what Iman’s doing.

Oh, but MTV does, and so does the plinky piano of impending travel, now with bass notes. 

Iman gazes at a phone picture of Audrey for extra pathos. He touches down in the TN and gets a ride from Habib the cab driver, who gets his name on the screen and some lines. Habib chuckles on the inside, thinking about what chumps his colleagues were driving those Amazing Race whack jobs. Habib has precious little sympathy for Iman’s nerves. We cut back and forth suspensefully, like it’s the end of The Godfather or something, and Audrey’s sweet little cries are heard in both scenes. I’m so suspended! What I need right now is a commercial about bold, expressive tampons.

At home, Sabrina and Audrey learn some history. Rebecca comes in with some munchies and the sisters compare notes on how little homework they can do. Iman rings the bell and they’re all like, “Huh?” Rebecca lets him in. Sabrina looks – well, like this.

I hope you’re not here for the boobies. 

She asks him what he’s doing there. Hah! He fumbles and mumbles, meets the baby, kisses Sabrina, and gives an unreturned fist bump to Rebecca. He tells Sabrina he wants to make up for lost time. 

And, okay, I was probably too hard on the big lug in the minicap. I shouldn’t have watched this right after the awful Deadbeat Ginger Helmet ep. He does pay attention to Audrey. He makes her formula and learns how to change her diaper. (“Why would I [know how to] change a diaper?” he asks. “I’ve never had a baby before.”) I guess it’s very possible he simply didn’t have the money before and took a month to save it. Still, he should have been straightforward about that and not been a dick to his girlfriend, but I know we can’t expect the world from these guys. He did show up. But he should have at least called from the airport.

So Sabrina goes back to school while a crankypants Rebecca plays sick. When Iman picks Sabrina up, he tells her Rebecca unenrolled that day. She’s moving out to live with their mom and those three rowdy children. This is where the crap gets confused out of me and doesn’t return. Don’t they live in the same town? I guess she could be going to a north side vs. south side school or something, and I can see how Sabrina wouldn’t want to be all alone at school, but it’s not like she’s leaving the town or the state. I’m guessing Sabrina’s reacting to the gesture more than the actuality? Somebody draw me a cartoon map!

Sabrina apparently cries (loudly) all afternoon and into the night. She doesn’t take her mom’s or Rebecca’s calls, so they come over in person. Amanda tries to climb into bed with her again. Her crying reminds me of this awful friend I used to have. Sabrina tells her mom that the only reason she came to Tennessee was because of Rebecca, and she had “done all this stuff” for her, and how could Rebecca leave her so easily? She kicks her mom out; Rebecca leaves on her own.

Stop slobbering on the Boppy pillow, Sabrina. It’s not like the baby has choices in where to lie down or can even lift her head out of your snot puddle.

Sabrina continues grieving this awful crosstown move for the rest of the ep. And yes, Iman does step up, giving Audrey baths and the whole nine, and they are sweet together. Also, it looks like he’s got a temporary reprieve on swabbing any grocery store floors or the like. He’s gotta be happy about that. Sabrina sings Iman’s praises to the camera, when she’s done missing her long lost sister.

Awww…