16 and Pregnant Recap: Hope Bloats

Hope goes to the doctor to see if they can induce her so she won’t be fat anymore. Ben tells her the weight will come off after the kid and it will all be good. Another point for him. I guess I didn’t give enough credit to the fact that this guy’s a proper adult. I kind of feel like an asshole. See what this show has turned me into? He tells her she still looks cute to him.

Who is this person?

Her cervix is soft, so they’re going to induce! Yay!

Aaand, it doesn’t take, so they need to do a C-section. Ben puts on a shower cap. Betsy cries. And they show it! We actually see Chang digging into the hole in her belly! Lord’a mercy MTV, is nothing sacred? My computer totally buffers on that moment, too. Little Tristan looks cute after they clean all the crap off him. Ben seems pleased.

Homegoing. Tristan rolls his head around in the giant car seat. They put him in the jungle swing. He is not as fond of the jungle swing as I am. Ben remains awesome. He appears to really care about this kid. He changes him, talks to him, and wakes up when he cries. He’s more help than Betsy, who’s stuck at home for some reason.

The Megans have to go study for their college tests and can’t talk on the phone. A likely story. Tristan is fadorable. Ben comes home and asks how her day was! The world is on its ass. Hope tells Ben she’s bored and needs a job. Really, the little cutie on your lap is about to get tons more interesting. He’s just revving up right now. Jobs are more trouble than they’re worth, if your bills are paid.

Zomg – precious! And he’s got Grandma’s jaw!

I would not leave that little face if I didn’t have to. Not just for the company of some bitches and the virtues of foodservice.

Interview for restaurant work. Are they really that easy? I guess maybe they are. The pain will commence soon enough, when the customers get there. So she gets the job and goes to work. Sigh. I want an easy job. And a cheeseburger.

She comes home, and it looks like that scene was literally shot right after the “leaving for work” scene. Maybe I’m just cynical. Ben is holding Tristan cutely and that is nice.

And he gave him a fauxhawk!

Bla bla, the job is fine but Hope wants more people to talk to. This again. So she drives to the next state to see ElaineMegan at college.

I can’t stop screengrabbing this guy. Grandmas-to-be, when the seeds go flying tonight, you have MTV to thank, for serious.

Hope, This is Not Your Life. Now let’s see what you could have had. Museums, scenery, and more people to hang out with than you can shake a rattle at.

The new family goes and eats pizza, and Hope wants to talk about their relationship again. Word to the woeful, Hopey. That crap gets old fast. It’s almost like a magical way to send him straight back to Not That Into Youville. Eh, she can’t hear me. She wants to go to school so she can have a good, reliable job. Or at least a good, reliable debt. Ben tries not to take umbrage to the fact that apparently his restaurant-working station in life is not good enough for her. How about 18 and About to Get Dumped: The Movie? The baby magically moves from one side of the booth to the other. Because he is awesome and has superpowers.

Hope tells the camera that she’s really grateful for how her situation turned out, all things considered. Oh no, that’s me talking again.

I dunno. That was pointless. Youth is wasted on the young, and babies are mostly wasted on the fertile I guess.