16 and Pregnant Recap: Life After Lip Service

Nanny: How was that prophetic when she was already pregnant?

Drouche: Stop splitting hairs. Myranda and Eric, I want you to turn and look at Nanny and tell her how you both understand that baby boomers know more than you and always will.

Drouche: Let’s check in with Katie. I like when she’s here because I’m only the second most annoying person in the room.

Joey: Check out my neck tat.

Katie: Did you all know that Joey and I have our own place, because I get everything I want?

Drouche: Yes, it happened in your episode.

Katie: I’m in college too. I don’t have to work like my stupid BD.

Drouche: But do you now know that you can’t be a “doctor” with just a Master’s degree?

Katie: Well, do you?

Drouche: Isn’t Joey’s job dangerous?

Katie: Yes, but I’m not as worried about him dying as I am about what I’d do if he died.

Drouche: That’s totally self-centered, but since you’re not on any drugs, I can’t help you.

Joey: I wish she would hold me and comfort me when I tell her about all the people that get injured at my job and taken away in ambulances every day.

Katie: I just tell him to shut up. I can’t handle that crap.

Drouche: What about birth control?

Katie: We use one of everything. Also, I’m breastfeeding this child as long as she’ll let me.

Drouche: Now let’s bring out all the ladies and let them ask each other stupid questions. What? What other ones? Oh, the four fatties? People care about them? Well I don’t. Let me recap quickly. Devon was on bunk birth control, Hope has no friends, Sabrina doesn’t deserve any, and Jordan’s mom is still a big hater. Log on to mtv.com to find out more, after you’ve gone on the other 200 sites I just referred you to. Because the internet is great place to learn how to live your life. Ok, we’ll bring the fatties out for the group thing.

Hope: How do you single moms do it? I would straight-up die if I were single.

Briana: [Sings that Pussycat Dolls song.]

Hope: Oh. Okay.

Lindsey: Can I say something? You should totally not have sex. Unless you already got pregnant. Then you can, but use rubbers.

Alex: And respect yourself. If you have a loser for a boyfriend, only have sex with him every 10 days.

Drouche: It’s time to bring out your bastards. Personally, I’m shocked that such a raggedy assortment produced such hearty and attractive specimens.

Girls: Yeah, well.

Drouche: Join us next time for Eight New Boobs, I mean, Teen Mom! Our teen boobs will be Mackenzie, Alex, Katie, and if they can fit that much annoying into an hour, Lindsey. If not, Briana. 

To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter. You can post your favorite lines right back at us. If you want to play games and socialize, like our Facebook page! We’re also now on Pinterest and Tumblr! Thanks for being a part of the gasm!