16 and Pregnant Recap: The Biggest Loser

Sarah and Megan the Second (I owe a big thanks to SunniSideUp for that – it’s so much easier to call these random friends who come in to move the script along Megan) sit in the outdoor living room with a backdrop of piled-up household stuff, I think topped with that carseat Blake was supposed to clean. Sarah says she’d be more upset for Tinleigh than for herself if Blake left. Can someone who had a useless pile of crap dad who stuck around speak to this? She wants Tin Cup to be a daddy’s girl. Sigh.

Sarah and Tina are back on the veranda when Blake’s truck barrels in and dang near knocks over some planter thing. He has a card and a bag of chips that I think is half-eaten. I have no words. 

Then he shows her his big stinky irresistible armpit to seal the deal.

She forgives him like a good chump, and he takes her to Lookout Mountain Incline Railway, which looks boring, but at least it’s a ride a pregnant lady can ride. Their convo there is also boring. 

Blake drags his stupid behind into the yard to say words to Tina that sound like an apology. He says he’s young and trying to better himself and she makes empty threats to kick him out. Sarah narrates that she’s happy about this. Another painful doctor’s checkup ensues. Clip your nails, midwife. Also, your whispery voice is creepy. The midwife whisperily threatens to induce labor. Sarah doesn’t want this, so she gets a pineapple from Walmart and goes over a list of labor-starters with HunterMegan. Jumping jacks and amateur acupressure are tried. Sex, apparently, is not. Licorice, pineapple, and spicy crackers are eaten. This is actually a fun little montage, but they should have sped it up and put a meaningful but humorous song behind it. Bingo! She goes into labor! Useless labor, because they end up giving her a C-section. Tinleigh is born and they stick bows directly to her head.

Blake acts like he’s going to stay for a little bit, and he starts working full time. Tinleigh has quite a pair of lungs, and she likes to use them. Blake responds to her crying by pulling the covers over his head. I just realized he and Sarah sleep in separate beds. I love how mothers try to preserve “propriety” when their pregnant daughters live with their babydaddies.

Megan 3 comes over, calls the kid beautiful, and points out that Sarah didn’t make herself pregnant and Blake needs to help out.

And then things really get trippy.

Sarah tells Tina she wouldn’t become a mom if she had it to do over – she’s not cut out for motherhood. But she does what she needs to, loud crying from Tinleigh and all. Sarah narrates that she’s run out of what little money she had. Blake hasn’t come through with dime one. He’s spent his money on tires for his truck, which don’t even look new. Tina speaks sternly to him, and he skirts the issue and acts like he’s going to maybe try. She gets angry and tells him a few true things about himself, and he turns tail and drives away like a little bitch. He’s heading down south to do some shrimping. Ahem.

Blake leaves under cover of darkness because he doesn’t possess the modicum of manners needed to say a proper goodbye. Sarah and Tina talk about it some more and Tina continues to not be helpful. I’m not sure what she should say in this situation – maybe that Sarah’s better off without him, which she obviously is? But Tina seems fairly invested in the learned helplessness thing herself, and really, they should have given Sarah a Teen Mom spot instead of wasting it on ungrateful Katie, who already got out of her not-even-half-as-miserable-as-this house. Tina never expected Blake to leave, she says. Humph. I did. Sarah can’t let him bring her down, says Tina. Because Tina will take care of that herself. Oh, and the baby needs to be her priority. Again, duh.