I hope y’all survived Thanksgiving and Black Friday and Cyber Monday and Powerball Wednesday all that other shit. Have you heard the
good bad news that 666 Park Avenue has been canceled? I am devastated. (Devastated, I tell you!) Consequently, this will be the last 666 recap on the ‘Gasm. ABC will be running the last five episodes, but you will have to get through them on your own. I am so sorry about that! (Devastated, even. Or…not.) ANYWAY, let’s get to it, shall we.
Previously: Brian fucked an increasingly crazy Alexis. Gavin and Olivia’s dead daughter Sasha had a “falling out” with Gavin before she died. Our favorite Russian psychopath kidnapped Victor Shaw at Gavin’s behest. Henry tried to propose to Jane, but she decided she’d rather explore the sub-basement.
We open with Henry in front of a church handing out “missing persons” flyers of Jane. He has a flashback of Jane asking if they are going to be okay and now who feels guilty, huh, Henry? He puts the flyers on cars and has another Jane flashback.
I though Giuliani got rid of all the squeegee guys
At the Drake, Detective Cooper from a few episodes ago chats with Gavin and Olivia. He exposits that Jane’s been missing for 36 hours and they have no leads. Gavin offers to call the police commissioner because the New York City police commissioner clearly has nothing better to do than search for a ditzy blonde who dabbles in the occult. Henry comes in, despondent, and Olivia and Gavin say how sorry they are for him. Gavin says he will call in a top notch investigator – which I’m sure Det. Cooper appreciates – and Olivia says they will do anything they can to help.
Cooper says he spoke to Nona, who told him that she and Jane “split up” in the basement looking for Nona’s grandma that night and Nona doesn’t know what happened to Jane. All technically true. Henry suggests that Cooper follow up on the guy who tried to attack Jane on Halloween. Cooper says they are looking into it and Sad Henry goes up to his apartment where he mopes around all emo looking at the engagement ring he was going to give Jane. He says out loud, “Where are you, Jane?”
Sad Henry haz a sad
Times Square. Jane appears, proving my theory that the spiral staircase did indeed lead straight to Hell. At first, Times Square is completely empty, but then some ghostlike people appear and one of them says to Jane, telepathically, of course, “you shouldn’t have come here.” I say that to myself every time I end up in Times Square. The ghosts fade and it becomes normal Times Square with all the people and traffic and Jane is completely out of it. She calls out for Henry as she tries to cross the street.
Yup, tenth circle of Hell