Welcome back, Gasmii! Here we are again with Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition. We’re down to just 7 dancers left. We’ve got Lexine, Asia, Amanda, Brianna, Madison, Jordyn, and Hadley. Last week, that whiny brat Elisabeth got sent home, and her witchy poo mother Erin had to pack her caboodle of Nyx cosmetics and hop a broom with her. Oh and Kristie from the Block got all up in Yvette’s grill. Homegirl thinks she’s tough, but she didn’t know just how close to the Dementor’s kiss she truly was.
We start out this week with another of Yvette’s stupid fucking sayings. “You’re either in or you’re in the way.” Good lord, I hate that woman. Let’s see what sage advice Kelly has to offer her daughter Jordyn.
“So help me, Jesus, I will burn you with this iron if you give me sass.”
Can we have another serious talk about crimping? It was huge when I was a young child in the 80s, but did it really make a comeback? Or did it never go away? Is it just an easy way to add volume? These are the things that keep me up at night.
We switch to Lexine and her mom Maria, and for a split second I was so happy because it looked like Maria was going to hug Lexine. But no, she’s just making her stretch.
I suppose a joke about shooting ping pong balls would be very tasteless right now.
They videochat with some people that I would have to guess are their family, and the woman tells Lexine to have fun, just look like you’re having fun, yeah? I had to laugh at the important clarification to pretend that this ordeal is fun even though you’re dying on the inside.
Don’t cry out loud.
At preparation for the challenge, Abby and No-Name tell us that the skill for the week is improvisation. The choreographer will be. . . no one. It’s just going to be an improve dance-off. Two kids will step up (2 tha streets), they’ll have their little dance off, then Abby will destroy their egos one a time until a winner is chosen. She says to stay in your zone, don’t touch the other person, but threaten them.
Amanda is excited that she gets to show her strengths. I wonder if she means that fucking eyebrow lift.
First up is Hadley vs. Asia. Asia goes first and seems to do fine, then Hadley does some moves, but Abby is not impressed. Hadley is out, and now it’s Lexine vs. Asia.
This is looking far too Hoochie Tooch for me.
Lexine makes some Wow faces, then makes a point to dance all up in Chipmunk’s space. Our Chipette really needs to start doing the same if she wants to move on. She doesn’t bother though, and sasses Lexine out. Chipette’s next contender is Amanda. Asia does her uncomfortably-sexualized improve, and Amanda responds in kind, but with more real dance elements. And I didn’t quite see the full-on brow raise yet, so maybe that’s her (not so-) secret weapon. Abby stops the music and sends Amanda back to sit on the floor. Loser.