Last week on AHS- Asylum: There was a super wicked storm. Chick from Step- Up and Adam Levine were shot dead (thank God) and Lesbo Lana, Kitty Kit and Gracie Lou Freebush tried to escape.
Great news guys, I’ve finally learned the other character’s names. I’ll pause for a second to wait for the applause to die down.
We open this episode at Briarcliff. No flashback to 2012 to see what’s happening Step – Up chick and most of Maroon 5. I guess they’re off writing a song for Magic Mike 2. HEY! Maybe they should have gone to a pay phone to call home. See what I did there?
Anycreatures, a new patient comes to Briarcliff for unknown reasons. She claims to be Anne Frank. THE Anne Frank. Anne Frank the diary girl. Woah y’all, plot twist to end all plot twist. If you’ve read the book, (Spoiler Alert: She dies) we know that it’s a bit strange that she’s claiming to still be alive after all these years. What is she doing here in the good old U.S.A? Hope she gets to visit Disney World. Where dreams really do come true when you wish upon a star.
They’re all chilling out in the rec room, I guess and “Anne Frank” is just a scribbling away. Sniff sniff, what’s that I smell? A sequel you say? I feel a series coming along. Anne Frank and The Prisoner of Briarcliff.
“This is totally going to be a New York Times best seller”
Lana approaches Anne to give her some advice about Briarcliff. I think they need someone new to drive the Mystery Machine, since Shelley is (ahem) legless. Lana tells Anne to cool it on the writing or they’ll punish her. Well Anne is all girl please, I’ve been through Auschwitz, you think I’m going to trust you. Lana, go get your own Scooby Snacks.
Speaking of Shelley, let’s see how she’s doing. What a nice comfy cot she is strapped down on. She awakens to see Dr. Arden (I know, I like Dr. Seuss better) standing over her. Poor thing asks if she’s going to die and sleaze-bag says that “After this, you’ll live forever” and proceeds to eject something into her head. Botox party! Shelley looks 25 but is actually 47. How does she do it? Stay tuned for a special made for TV offer.
I guess Shelley needed to ice her head while she waits for the Botox to set in, so in strolls Dr. Arden into the rec room. He pretends to care about the patients and then “Anne” spots him. Apparently she recognizes him as a Nazi Soldier that used to perform experiments on the women at Auschwitz. Homegirl freaks out. I’m talking white girl crazy, Real Housewives, Bad Girls Club freak out. Well guess what Anne, your little freak out earns you a trip to see Sister Christian. Sister Christian is talking to Anne about her claims of being THE Anne Frank and totally doesn’t believe her. Right, because she is definitely the person to be judging people. Anne says this is my story and I’m sticking to it. Sister Christian still doesn’t believe her, so Anne whips out the big guns. She slams her forearm down and shows her identification number tattoo. WELL WELL WELL, what do we have to say about that.
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25 Comments
So, my eyes see beyond two words when I’m reading…..so, while I appreciate your “spoiler alert”…..I saw “she dies” at the same time. I’m going to have to stop reading recaps. Just thought I’d let you know you might want to skip a beat or add spoiler alert in your caption…..maybe put all the spoilers on your last page. In fact, I thought you had asked commenters not to include spoilers in their posts….oh well
I’m not quite sure as to what you’re talking about. I was trying to make a joke about the book, The Diary of Anne Frank. It’s pretty common knowledge that she dies in the book and I was joking about that. I wasn’t referring to the character “Anne Frank” dying in American Horror Story. This is a 2 part episode, so no one knows what will happen until next week. Hope that clears it up.
LOL…who hasn’t read The Diary of Anne Frank and know she dies?? Maybe the uneducated should refrain from posting!
I think Bloody Face is Zachery Quinto’s character. Just a hunch.
Sorry to disappoint you hair, but I have read the Diary of Anne Frank. In reading the recap spoiler alert/she dies jumped out on the page. I read no further, erroneously assuming that AHS was based on a book, much like a vast number of movies, tv series, made for tv movies etc have been. First season watching and I only skim articles. You know nothing about my education.
Thanks ashsmash for clearing that up for me and not jumping to conclusions. I stand corrected
Great recap. Keep up the good work.
@Parisi – I’ve heard that from a few other people and am starting to think that might just be the truth! Either him or the monsignor.
Awesome recap!!!
I don’t think Kit is bloody face either or Dr. Arden. Maybe one if Arden’s creatures???
Thank you for stepping up to recap the craziest show on t.v.! I’m both afraid of and mesmerized by it. It’s going to be fun to see how it all comes together.
I read a theory somewhere that the monsignor and Drs. Arden and Thredson might all somehow be involved in Bloody Face in one way or another, like an unholy trinity. Being set in a Catholic asylum I could see that coming into play.
I just hope it doesn’t implode like Glee. Please don’t screw this up, Ryan Murphy!
Oh, and how awesome is Jessica Lange? She’s even better than last year and she was incredible as Constance.
Considering Anne Frank was sent to Bergen-Belsen where she died, this show needs to vet its historical facts. Or is this Auschwitz claim a hint that she isn’t the real Anne. (As if we didn’t already know that.)
Anne was in Auschwitz, though she didn’t die there. Anne and her sister were sent to BB, after it was determined they were healthy enough for work.
AshSmash…love the title of this recap!
@ Parisi LaRoe – I told Mr Yeknom the same thing!! That might be why he’s trying so hard to convince Kit that he is the killer….but then why’d he tell Lana that the killer might not be caught?
@KJN – Love Jessica Lange. So much that I think it borders on obsessive. She is awesome this season.
@cherrylipgloss Not being rude, but typically a recap tells what has happened on the show (movie, or what have you), so how could you not expect to find out what happened?
Poor Shelly.
@yeknom…not to be rude, but a spoiler is something that has not yet happened.
I have not read The Diary of Anne Frank. For some reason, I felt compelled to admit my appalling lack of education. Worse still, even though I am now aware of this deficiency, I intend to do nothing to correct it.
I think we established that there were no spoilers in the recap. Can we just drop it, please?
This show is so beyond messed up. I’m a little upset they haven’t followed up on the implant bug thing . . . How could Kit have doubts with that thing in him . . . Hard to believe even in the sixties a bi-racial marriage was so controversial!!!
Dr. Arden is clearly the worst!!! Yuk!!! And it shouldn’t be too hard to find his memorabilia, as it’s on his desk . . . get to steppin’ Sister Christian!!!
Those monsters may be wearing skin suits . . . oooo . . . so I’m with you all suspecting Arden and maybe more, I’m just not sure when he ever leaves . . . are the aliens doing the skinning? So confused!
I hope Zach’s doctor isn’t bad . . . there’s just no one to root for here, except Lana, who was a very brave actress for that scene! I could never be cured of gayness, but showing me hairy bellies, and Russell Hantz in undies while making me puke, well, perhaps I’d no longer go for the big guys and assholes . . . I sooooo hate to puke . . I’d rather get tased!!!
The Anne Frank thing . . . I’m surprised there hasn’t been a shit storm of controversy . . . I think it’s pretty risky to reference someone like her. I’m glad she’s so adamant and strong tho . . . this can’t end well.
I read the diary in class in eighth grade, and the teacher made a point of highlighting the part where Anne is curious about her sister in a lesbianic kind of way. She said it’s normal to go through a phase, and there, folks, was my story for the next six years . . . guess it was a long phase.
Is it known what Anne’s tattoo was? I’d be curious to see if it means she’s really her or not.
Poor Shelley . . . anyone think she’ll get an emmy nod?
@ crankyguy ….. you’re not related to @angryoldman by any chance?? I miss his angry rants.
Anne’s tattoo was a series of numbers. When you went into a camp, you were no longer a person just a number. That is how the SS guards kept up with you. Shoutout to y’all who caught the Anne Frank camp thing. She did die at Bergen – Belson camp. Actually of typhoid, I believe. I also think she did go to Auschwitz. She may have started off there and was later transfered to Bergen Belson.
Also, keep the theories about Bloody Face coming! Love hearing them. Next week, I’m going to discuss the “poster theory” Anybody heard anything about that?
Thanks, Ashsmash, I should have said, is there a way to know what the numbers on her tattoo were, as I knew they were numbers. I just wiki’d her, and it’s true she went to Auschwitz, got sick with scabies, was moved to BB, and did get typhoid, dying just weeks before the camp was liberated. It’s a pretty chilling read, and again, I am surprised there’s no controversy about bringing her on the show as a live character. I have to believe it’s supposed to really be her, I realize it may not be so, but her Nazi accusations don’t make sense if it’s not her.
either way, I look forward to seeing where it goes . . .
Oh I gotcha juddfan, sorry for the misunderstanding. I know what you mean though, she flashed her arm so quick it was hard to read what they said.
man, I was wondeirng what would happen this season and so far we’ve got: Aliens, Nazis, zombie things, totally fuckin’ psycho doctor, alkie Nun, and crazy present-day killer. AWESOME!
I like the Anne Frank plotline, it’s an interesting possibility: what if she has survived and was in hiding in the US? Very daring approach, and I think it works for this show. Reminds me of the story of Anastasia, and the woman who claimed to be her (it was later proven false) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Duchess_Anastasia_Nikolaevna_of_Russia
@anniedawg, you forgot to mention possession, and some good old fashioned caning!!!
@juddfan…YES, I knew I was forgetting something!!!!
I also forgot to mention Jessica’ Lange’s drunken movie-night monologue, and the amazing look she gave the doctor when she said ‘Im on to you”. Just give her the Emmy again!!!
@anniedawg I like the Anne Frank storyline too. I thought it was an interesting way to bring Dr. Arden’s nazi-past into light. He’s incredibly creepy.
you’re not related to @angryoldman by any chance??
I don’t have a clue. I don’t recall even seeing one of his posts. But, if he was pissed off in general, then we probably have much in common.