Amazing Race Recap: Balls and Bulls

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By Fran and Berry | Tuesday, December 4, 2012 | 7:00 am | 9 Comments
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Team Dong, Twin N’s and FNL all arrive at the port and are very excited to see each other. It’s kinda nice to see everyone in the top three kinda like each other. Quick side note, Fran and I used to work on a cruise ship sorting garbage and ported in Barcelona every Sunday for six months. We’ve spent so much time exactly where they are waiting it feels like home! AHHHH!!! I MISS FRAN AND LIL’ C!! Sleeping next to cold pizza just isn’t the same!!!!

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“Someday I’ll be….part of your wooooorld!” -The Little Dongmaid

Okay, I’m done crying. It’s Tuesday, but I am carrying on.

Once at the ferry station they find out that they have 12 hours to kill! Wow, that’s kinda fun. You don’t see a free day a lot on this show. I hope they got into some wacky adventures so Amazing Race can release the spin-off show, The Amazing Case….of the missing diamonds!

The teams get back to the ferry station, see the Goat Boys and FLIP OUT! They are so excited. Not to see Goat Boys of course. Those two old men are a black hole of excitement. Yep, they drown fun like it’s a bag of puppies. No, the teams are excited because that means Choke Out is out! The subtext of the cheering is, “Yeah, you’re the worst team and you’re easy to beat and you’re still here so it’ll be easy to beat you! Yeah Goat Boys!”

So all the teams are on the ferry to the Island of Mallorca to find some devils. They all jump in cabs and are on their way! Well……except for the Goat Boys. They are immediately lost. Oh boy (sad trombone…….)

The real teams are looking for the clue and the devils are all blowing fire and screaming in the faces. Kind of reminds me of the first time I met Fran’s family.

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Photobomb devil!

Teams must now drive themselves to Centre De Alto Rendimiento, a tennis club, where they’ll find their next clue. Drive themselves?! You know what that means! FORD FOCUS time! Where’s our free car?! Seriously.

All the teams are following each other to the tennis courts, but Twin N’s are having some car problems. Well, people problems actually. It’s a stick shift and Nadiya had taken one driving lesson to get prepared and thought it seemed easy enough so she quit. Now let’s really see how the Ford Focus handles when the transmission is being grinded to shit!

Team Dong gets to the roadblock first. “Who wants to get smashed?” This is the hometown of tennis great Rafael Nadal, The King of Clay! Really? I thought that was Gumby. Anyway, teams must chose a tennis pro and a basket of balls and face off against a high powered machine and return twenty balls inbounds before their basket it empty. Apparently, Trey from FNL actually plays tennis so he’s psyched. However Team Dong is used to a bunch of balls flying all around them, they’re just not good at controlling where they go.

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Fran and Berry are not just a sexy elderly couple who competed in Season 9 of the Amazing Race, they are also us, Mike Betette and Amanda Ohly.  We are similarly married and similarly carry backpacks all over the world.  Some people ask us "how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?"  And to that we respond: reality tv.  Tons of reality tv.  Sexy, fighty, douchey reality tv.  We are both comedians living in Los Angeles and we love Robin Hood and we did NOT contribute to the Harlem Shake.  Google us for more, ya dirty stalker!

9 Comments

  1. 1
    Twanbon
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 7:28 am

    Aww, and we were THAT close to Amazing Race’s first 50% gay finale!

  2. 2
    lindaw205
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 7:43 am

    Excellent recap, Berry! I’m just as amazed that the Beekman’s made the final 4. How did this happen? I love the Chippies and hope they win.

  3. 3
    sphouch
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I think I’ve more or less settled on the Chippendales as the team I want to see win. The Beekmans complain/whine way too much to be likeable, the Twins are mean-spirited but hide it under a veil of enthusiasm – so far this season, they’ve griped, complained about other teams, stolen money, conspired to get the other teams in their alliances to U-turn the one team they knew would U-turn them, then took the fast forward to let those other teams do the dirty work. I don’t dislike team Texas, but they were complicit in the stealing of Abba’s money, and if memory serves, actually took some of the money themselves… While they don’t come across as malicious like the twins or bitchy like the goat boys, they haven’t done anything to really get me to want them to be the team that ends up on top. The Chippendales are thoughtful, courteous to the host nations, work well together, don’t complain, and really seem to be enjoying the whole experience, and that’s what I want from a team.

  4. 4
    wcsdancer
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I’m Team Chippendales too, for the same reasons sphouch stated.

    I was cracking up when Twinny was struggling to drive the stick! It reminded me of when I was learning. Yeah, shifting is easy while you’re moving, but mastering coming from a complete stop takes some time. I was really hoping they’d be sent home.

    What the heck were Goat Boys thinking having the guy with the bad ankle do an athletic task? Seriously, it didn’t occur to Josh that gee, it might start hurting again?

  5. 5
    moonshine
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    i read recently that the chippies were back in las vegas working as chipsters which makes me wonder IF they didn’t win :(

  6. 6
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    This last episode was such a non-episode that it just made me crazy!!! First off they all ended up having to wait a whole day in Barcelona, so the 3 -team alliance spend the day splashing and playing at the beach while the goat farmers catch up. Now everyone is all together again on an even playing field. It was fun and games and a little drama with a sprained ankle , troubles with stick-shifts, and in the end, none of it mattered. It was all for not because it was a non-elimination round. Doesn’t that make the 4th or 5th one this season? That’s got to be a record! I’m with you guys, I hope the Chippendales win.

  7. 7
    Zwicker
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 8:18 am

    This show is now on season 23. All competitors know that they will undoubtedly face certain challenges, like driving a stick shift, swimming, heights, etc. Every season though, at least one competitor acts surprised that these things arise.

  8. 8
    blazergirl
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 11:26 am

    In regards to the Chippendale’s being back to work, most contestants go back to work when they return home. The winners don’t receive their money until the final episode airs. If the winners went home and quit their jobs, it would be obvious that they won. I think they all have to carry on a normal life so as not to give anything away. In the same fashion, teams that have been eliminated are put up in a hotel somewhere (I think out of the US) until taping is done, so as also not to give the elimination order away. So hopefully, it doesn’t mean anything because I am also cheering for the Chippendale’s and really would love to see them win it all. How much it would piss off Ryan and Abbie would just be an added bonus.

  9. 9
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Uh, I was for the Chippendales LONG BEFORE all you johnny come latelys. I liked them because they were strippers and liked to take their clothes off . When they showed up on my TV I got all tingly — fortunately they ended up being nice guys too.

    I hope they win but if the twins OR trey and lexi win that wouldn’t be the end of the world.

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