Amazing Race Recap: Balls and Bulls

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By Fran and Berry | Tuesday, December 4, 2012 | 7:00 am | 9 Comments
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So it’s an actual race to fix the windmills and Goat Boys are convinced this task was made for them, having a wind turbine on the farm and being good with tools. Twin N’s, on the other hand, are just screaming at each other and it makes me rather be pierced between the shoulder blades.

FNL and Dong are racing to the castle for number one. And….it’s Team FNL! But more importantly, what the hell is that thing with Phil?! It’s like some half man, headless thing sitting in a chair. But with a woman’s voice. WHAT?! I am so confused. And creeped out. I wish Fran was here to hold me. Although she probably wouldn’t touch me, she hates it when my chest is covered in pepperoni grease.

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Phil and the beloved Mallorcan character, “Headless business associate with gloves.”

Team Dong comes in second and they are some fierce competitors. We have our teams one and two for the finale!

And which terrible team that nobody wants to watch will fall into third place? Back at the windmill task Team Goat Boys finish the task first! They’re on their way to the pit stop. Twin N’s are super bummed. As they should be. Losing is bad, but losing to Goat Boys! WOW! Yup, Goat Boys arrive to Phil and the half chair girl-man and check them in as team number three. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! Those must have been some crazy odds for them to be in the final three. Phil can’t even believe it. He tells them how terrible they’ve been running the race and says they’re like the little train that could! Choo, choo, Phil. Choo, choo indeed.

Meanwhile Twin N’s say “I can’t believe the gimpy guys did this. We could have beat the gays here and we didn’t. So, mucho waste of time-o.” Boy am I glad they’re out! They hit the mat and Phil is really dragging this out….because NO!!!! It’s a non-elimination. Didn’t they pull that shit last year too? I guess Amazing Race realized they needed to have three worthwhile teams in the finals total. Seriously though, I REALLY want the Goat Boys to accidentally and begrudgingly win the Amazing Race. But I doubt it’ll happen. Phil knows, the Goat Boys winning is not Emmy winning television.

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Just breath through the failure. One more episode to stumble through and you can go home, boys.

Next week: Running, screaming, alliances, broken alliances, getting hit in the head with a pole all because Fran will be home! Plus we’ll watch the Amazing Race Season 21 two hour finale!

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Fran and Berry are not just a sexy elderly couple who competed in Season 9 of the Amazing Race, they are also us, Mike Betette and Amanda Ohly.  We are similarly married and similarly carry backpacks all over the world.  Some people ask us "how do you keep the spark alive in your marriage?"  And to that we respond: reality tv.  Tons of reality tv.  Sexy, fighty, douchey reality tv.  We are both comedians living in Los Angeles and we love Robin Hood and we did NOT contribute to the Harlem Shake.  Google us for more, ya dirty stalker!

9 Comments

  1. 1
    Twanbon
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 7:28 am

    Aww, and we were THAT close to Amazing Race’s first 50% gay finale!

  2. 2
    lindaw205
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 7:43 am

    Excellent recap, Berry! I’m just as amazed that the Beekman’s made the final 4. How did this happen? I love the Chippies and hope they win.

  3. 3
    sphouch
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 9:39 am

    I think I’ve more or less settled on the Chippendales as the team I want to see win. The Beekmans complain/whine way too much to be likeable, the Twins are mean-spirited but hide it under a veil of enthusiasm – so far this season, they’ve griped, complained about other teams, stolen money, conspired to get the other teams in their alliances to U-turn the one team they knew would U-turn them, then took the fast forward to let those other teams do the dirty work. I don’t dislike team Texas, but they were complicit in the stealing of Abba’s money, and if memory serves, actually took some of the money themselves… While they don’t come across as malicious like the twins or bitchy like the goat boys, they haven’t done anything to really get me to want them to be the team that ends up on top. The Chippendales are thoughtful, courteous to the host nations, work well together, don’t complain, and really seem to be enjoying the whole experience, and that’s what I want from a team.

  4. 4
    wcsdancer
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I’m Team Chippendales too, for the same reasons sphouch stated.

    I was cracking up when Twinny was struggling to drive the stick! It reminded me of when I was learning. Yeah, shifting is easy while you’re moving, but mastering coming from a complete stop takes some time. I was really hoping they’d be sent home.

    What the heck were Goat Boys thinking having the guy with the bad ankle do an athletic task? Seriously, it didn’t occur to Josh that gee, it might start hurting again?

  5. 5
    moonshine
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    i read recently that the chippies were back in las vegas working as chipsters which makes me wonder IF they didn’t win :(

  6. 6
    chooch850 chooch850
    Posted December 4, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    This last episode was such a non-episode that it just made me crazy!!! First off they all ended up having to wait a whole day in Barcelona, so the 3 -team alliance spend the day splashing and playing at the beach while the goat farmers catch up. Now everyone is all together again on an even playing field. It was fun and games and a little drama with a sprained ankle , troubles with stick-shifts, and in the end, none of it mattered. It was all for not because it was a non-elimination round. Doesn’t that make the 4th or 5th one this season? That’s got to be a record! I’m with you guys, I hope the Chippendales win.

  7. 7
    Zwicker
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 8:18 am

    This show is now on season 23. All competitors know that they will undoubtedly face certain challenges, like driving a stick shift, swimming, heights, etc. Every season though, at least one competitor acts surprised that these things arise.

  8. 8
    blazergirl
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 11:26 am

    In regards to the Chippendale’s being back to work, most contestants go back to work when they return home. The winners don’t receive their money until the final episode airs. If the winners went home and quit their jobs, it would be obvious that they won. I think they all have to carry on a normal life so as not to give anything away. In the same fashion, teams that have been eliminated are put up in a hotel somewhere (I think out of the US) until taping is done, so as also not to give the elimination order away. So hopefully, it doesn’t mean anything because I am also cheering for the Chippendale’s and really would love to see them win it all. How much it would piss off Ryan and Abbie would just be an added bonus.

  9. 9
    Mister_Dangerous
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Uh, I was for the Chippendales LONG BEFORE all you johnny come latelys. I liked them because they were strippers and liked to take their clothes off . When they showed up on my TV I got all tingly — fortunately they ended up being nice guys too.

    I hope they win but if the twins OR trey and lexi win that wouldn’t be the end of the world.

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