So it’s an actual race to fix the windmills and Goat Boys are convinced this task was made for them, having a wind turbine on the farm and being good with tools. Twin N’s, on the other hand, are just screaming at each other and it makes me rather be pierced between the shoulder blades.
FNL and Dong are racing to the castle for number one. And….it’s Team FNL! But more importantly, what the hell is that thing with Phil?! It’s like some half man, headless thing sitting in a chair. But with a woman’s voice. WHAT?! I am so confused. And creeped out. I wish Fran was here to hold me. Although she probably wouldn’t touch me, she hates it when my chest is covered in pepperoni grease.
Phil and the beloved Mallorcan character, “Headless business associate with gloves.”
Team Dong comes in second and they are some fierce competitors. We have our teams one and two for the finale!
And which terrible team that nobody wants to watch will fall into third place? Back at the windmill task Team Goat Boys finish the task first! They’re on their way to the pit stop. Twin N’s are super bummed. As they should be. Losing is bad, but losing to Goat Boys! WOW! Yup, Goat Boys arrive to Phil and the half chair girl-man and check them in as team number three. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! Those must have been some crazy odds for them to be in the final three. Phil can’t even believe it. He tells them how terrible they’ve been running the race and says they’re like the little train that could! Choo, choo, Phil. Choo, choo indeed.
Meanwhile Twin N’s say “I can’t believe the gimpy guys did this. We could have beat the gays here and we didn’t. So, mucho waste of time-o.” Boy am I glad they’re out! They hit the mat and Phil is really dragging this out….because NO!!!! It’s a non-elimination. Didn’t they pull that shit last year too? I guess Amazing Race realized they needed to have three worthwhile teams in the finals total. Seriously though, I REALLY want the Goat Boys to accidentally and begrudgingly win the Amazing Race. But I doubt it’ll happen. Phil knows, the Goat Boys winning is not Emmy winning television.
Just breath through the failure. One more episode to stumble through and you can go home, boys.
Next week: Running, screaming, alliances, broken alliances, getting hit in the head with a pole all because Fran will be home! Plus we’ll watch the Amazing Race Season 21 two hour finale!